Becoming a Monster
Chapter 180: Weight of Loyalty

Chapter 180: Chapter 180: Weight of Loyalty

Both Arachne and Fenrir were assertive in their intentions to finish off the fight before Noah arrived. Their tunnel vision for quick victory made them unable to realize that Noah had been there, watching them all along.

On his way there, his mood soured with every step he took. The distance he had already covered showed that the supposed enemy was not even remotely close to their temporary base, and yet the two still decided on their own to engage the horde. His jaw clenched in frustration. They acted without his approval, it wasn’t that he felt his authority was being challenged, he was angered because of their recklessness.

They acted as if the strength he gave them had overwritten the past. Were they getting too arrogant? What if, out of the entire horde, one of the creatures had an even greater strength than the Queen ant they just fought? Despite their being the chance that they could subdue the horde, what if their altercation lured in a bigger presence that they couldn’t contend with?

"Obviously they’re doing this for you, silly," Noah glanced towards Ailetta, still glued to his body. Without anything to influence her overwhelming emotional triggers, she was able to fully sense Noah’s emotions. His glance held a certain glare to it, though unintentional, as he looked at her. The sharp glare was met with an affectionate tight hold around his neck as she continued.

"If I were in their place, I would do the same thing....Noah...We all know that sooner or later, you will gain more followers. Even if you deny it, we will still believe that there is a chance for us to be replaced. For us, failure isn’t just a mistake that we can learn from and just do better."

With one final leap, Noah arrived at the roof of a small building that gave him a clear view of the scene. However, his eyes were almost distant as he considered what Ailetta said. The scene before him felt almost surreal, distant, as if it wasn’t really happening, even though he could clearly see Arachne and Fenrir moving with determination, fighting off the horde.

His mind circled back to what Ailetta had said, her fears, their fears. The realization hit him hard. ’They really think I’ll replace them....’ The weight of that understanding bore down on him, making his chest feel tight. Even Ailetta, with whom he shared such a close, intimate bond, believed it.

"Do you all really see me that way?" Noah muttered bitterly to himself, his voice lost in the battle going down below. He hadn’t realized how deeply it would cut him until now. Maybe before, when he saw them more as allies or even partners, it wouldn’t have affected him. But now, now they have become more than that. They were his family, in their twisted, monstrous way. And the thought that they didn’t see him the same way gnawed at him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to steady the storm of emotions swirling inside him. When his gaze refocused on the battlefield, realization dawned on him. Fenrir and Arachne weren’t fighting with every ounce of strength they had just to win, but to prove themselves, to secure their place by his side. Their actions, driven by fear of failure and inadequacy, now made more sense.

Ailetta off-handedly smiled seeing his reaction, though it was tinged with sadness. "It’s not about what we think you’ll do. It’s about what we feel. You’re... special to us, Noah. What you’ve done for us is much more than what we can say we’ve done for you.

"Le..." he started, unsure of how to articulate the storm of thoughts in his head. He had never promised them they wouldn’t be replaced, but he also never wanted them to feel that their place by his side was conditional.

Ailetta tightened her grip on his arm. "We’ll always fight for you, Noah. But sometimes, we’re fighting not just for you... but for ourselves, too. Not only do we want you to acknowledge us, but we have to also acknowledge ourselves, and prove that we deserve to be by your side.

The two stood there quietly for a while. It wasn’t as if Noah wasn’t understanding; he did. In fact, it was his understanding that brought about his silence.

Suddenly, he released a deep breath, drawing Ailetta’s attention. She observed him expectantly, wondering if he was going to now join the fight to fight alongside them.

"Are we going too?" Noah glanced towards her before looking back towards the battle. The tension in his body visibly relaxed before he shook his head. "No....If what you said is true, then I’ll let them be...for now..."

Despite understanding, Noah still didn’t like it. He didn’t want a relationship like this to continue. If they were to continue to act so impulsive, then they will soon be forced to reap the consequences. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but Noah was sure of the fact that their impulsive behavior would one day risk their lives.

Ailetta hummed cryptically in response, having to have a similar discussion already she would rather not touch the topic again.

"Oh!" She soon gasped, stirring the topic elsewhere. By this time, Fenrir had just encountered the decaying titan zombie.

"That zombie has an interesting ability...It’s some kind of decaying aura....What about getting that creature under your command since that other woman was a failure?"

The sudden shift in Ailetta’s tone caught Noah off guard. His curious nature still had him look over to where she gestured, his mind still filled with his earlier mood. However, seeing the creature, and then seeing how the creature’s aura was affecting Fenrir made him somewhat intrigued. His interest caused him to analyze the situation even more, even forcing him to open up his other set of eyes that he rarely used because of the constant feed of overloading information.

Just a few seconds was all it took for Noah to withdraw the usage of his special eyes, disappointment filling his gaze. "I’m not interested in an ability that can’t be controlled." He said while his gaze scanned the other zombies in the area who weren’t left out of its target range. "No matter living organisms, undead, or material constructs, it affects everything indiscriminately. The effects are still weak now, but I wouldn’t want to have something like that around any of us."

"Such a shame," Ailetta murmured, though her tone suggested she wasn’t too bothered. Then two of her eyes that were watching a different scene play out, widened suddenly.

"Those two are exactly who I had in mind." Noah cut her off, noticing her reaction as he focused on the child zombie and her skeletal guardian.

If it was just a little zombie that could control the undead, partnered with a menacing skeleton with the fighting and judging capability of a knight, then maybe Noah would see them merely as stepping stones.

But it was his Nexus eye that made him desire to have them. The mana emanating from them wasn’t just higher than the other zombies, their mana was intertwined with one another.

"They’re essentially one entity..." Noah muttered to himself. He wondered how his skill would work on them, if the two would count as two creatures, or would it only take up one of his available slots as his vassal?

With the intention of obtaining them, Noah observed them with a higher form of interest even more. He saw the moment Arachne attacked the zombie, her legs piercing through the zombie’s body, yet the little girl remained untouched. He observed how the child zombie not only had no way of defending herself, but she had no intention of even trying. Just from that, Noah could tell that her wisdom was lacking, despite her ability to think and somewhat reason. ’What if something like Fenrir swallowed her whole...what would she do then?’ He thought to himself as he analyzed the pros and cons.

’And this one...’ Noah once again had to open his second pair of eyes to fully watch the skeleton’s fight with Arachne. In the beginning, Arachne didn’t give up on her attacks against the zombie, instead she infused her limbs with her poison, testing the little girl’s seemingly immortal body.

It was then that the little girl showed a reaction. Despite her physical injuries being transferred to the skeleton, beneath her skin, small dark green blemishes began to appear, spreading further as the poison continued to weaken her.

The child’s playful gaze flickered. Her presence became more aware around her, her eyes looked more mature; and then suddenly, she released the highest shriek that Noah has ever heard. The pitch of her scream shattered the glass of every nearby building in a quarter mile distance.

Nothing about her changed, Arachne, deeply scrutinizing the little girl’s actions also found that her poison actually succeeded. Knowing this, she was going to continue avoiding the skeleton if that meant she could potentially take the mastermind down. But the moment the little girl cried, something in the skeleton changed. It wasn’t a physical transformation. A pulse sounded, one that was slow at first, with about five seconds in between each pulse. The first pulse caused Arachne to falter in her actions. Something indescribably was playing at her very being, she felt fear.

She bit down on her lips to resist, to her, it didn’t make sense. She was conscious of the fact that she wasn’t actually afraid and yet her body acted against her. With each pulse, the pulse grew louder, stronger, while the fearing effects on her also grew stronger. Because the fear played more on her body than her mind, she didn’t feel the desire to flee, but now her actions were slower, her body took longer to respond to what she wanted to do.