Avenging Luna
Chapter 90: Messed Up

Chapter 90: Messed Up

Drake’s POV:

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

The word echoed in my head like a curse, each repetition digging deeper into my soul. How could I have been so foolish? How could I have let my anger blind me to the most important thing—her?

Leila.

I should have done more, acted faster. The second the doctor confirmed that she had a large quantity of wolfbane in her system, I should have dragged her to the hospital, to get it cleaned out, purged, something. Instead, I let my anger take over. I stormed out, thinking space was the best thing, thinking I needed time to cool off. But what if I had just stayed? What if I had taken the stupid bottle away from her immediately? What if I had acted like the mate I should be?

Gods, I left her there. Alone. Angry and confused. And she... she drank from the bottle. The very thing I thought would kill her and our child. I should have taken it from her, smashed it right there, but instead, I stormed out, leaving her with it.

I should have taken her to the hospital the second I saw her frail. But no, I let my rage drive me away, thinking I needed distance to avoid saying something I’d regret. In reality, what I was doing was far worse. I was condemning them—both Leila and our child—to damnation.

What have I done?

My hands trembled as I tried to make sense of the mess I’d caused. My mate... my child. The weight of those words hung in the air around me like a noose, tightening every second. The last time I’d seen Leila, she was trying to explain, trying to convince me that she hadn’t taken the wolfbane, that she was innocent. But how could I believe that when the evidence was staring me in the face? The bottle in her hand, the positive blood tests... it all pointed to her guilt.

But now, standing here, I realized that guilt was never the issue. It never should have been. Her health and the health of our baby were the only things that should’ve mattered. Instead, I let my emotions cloud my judgment. And now...

"Nelly," I muttered under my breath, remembering her frantic link. She had found Leila, collapsed on the floor, unresponsive. My heart dropped into my stomach at the thought of it—Leila lying there, alone, suffering while I was busy wallowing in my own anger.

I linked Nelly back, my mind racing. "Where are you? Is she okay? Tell me she’s okay."

The reply came quickly, but it wasn’t reassuring. "We’re at the hospital. She’s unconscious. Drake, it’s bad."

Those words hit me like a freight train, and I didn’t waste another second. I bolted from the forest, sprinting through the trees back to the halls of the pack house, not caring who saw the frantic look in my eyes. My heart pounded in my chest as I ran, every step bringing me closer to the hospital, closer to Leila.

Please, goddess, let her be okay.

The hospital came into view, and I pushed my way inside, not caring about anyone who tried to stop me. The nurses must have seen the desperation on my face because they didn’t say a word as I rushed past them, heading straight for the room Nelly had told me about.

I threw the door open and froze. There she was. Leila. Pale, fragile, lying on the hospital bed with machines hooked up to her. The sound of the steady beep of her heart monitor filled the room, but it did little to ease the panic clawing at my chest.

Nelly stood off to the side, her face filled with concern and sorrow. She looked at me, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"She collapsed, Drake," Nelly said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I found her just in time. The doctor said... it’s the wolfbane. It’s overwhelming her system."

I didn’t need her to explain any further. The truth was written all over Leila’s frail body. Her wolf, Layla, must have been fighting hard to heal her, but even wolves had their limits, and with the amount of poison in her blood...

I stepped forward, my hands shaking as I reached out to touch her, but I stopped myself. What right did I have? What if this was my fault? What if my rage, my doubt, had pushed her over the edge? What if leaving her alone had condemned her to this state?

But then Nelly’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts. "She needs you, Drake. Now more than ever."

I swallowed hard, nodding as I forced myself to close the distance between us. I knelt by her bedside, gently taking her hand in mine. It was cold, too cold. The warmth that usually radiated from her skin was gone, replaced by a lifeless chill that sent a jolt of fear through my entire body.

"Leila..." I whispered, my voice trembling. "I’m so sorry. I should have listened. I should have believed you."

Her chest rose and fell slowly, each breath a battle, and I couldn’t stop the tears that burned in my eyes. My mate, my Leila, was fighting for her life, and it was all because I hadn’t trusted her.

The door opened behind me, and the doctor entered, his expression grim.

"We’ve done everything we can to stabilize her for now," he said quietly, as if afraid to disturb the fragile peace in the room. "But the wolfbane has spread through her system more extensively than we initially thought. We need to flush it out, but it’s going to take time. She’s weak. Her wolf is weak."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The guilt was crushing me, and I could barely breathe under its weight. This was my fault, all of it. If I had just stayed, if I had just listened instead of storming off...

"We’ll keep a close eye on her," the doctor added, his gaze softening slightly. "But right now, it’s up to her and her wolf to fight through this."

The words hung in the air like a death sentence.

Up to her.

To fight through this.

I squeezed her hand tighter, leaning forward so my forehead rested against hers.

"You have to fight, Leila. You have to," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I need you. Our baby needs you. Please... don’t give up on us."

The life of our baby depended on Leila. My heart ached as the full weight of that realization hit me. I was going to lose them—both of them—because of my idiocy, my inability to see the truth when it was right in front of me. The guilt was unbearable, like a thousand knives piercing my chest, each one reminding me of my failure as a mate, a protector, a future father.

How could I have been so blind?

I sat there by Leila’s bedside, holding her cold hand in mine, watching her fragile chest rise and fall with slow, labored breaths. The steady beep of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room, but it offered no comfort. It was a cruel reminder that her life was hanging by a thread, and our baby’s fate was tied to hers.

I did this.

If I had taken her to the hospital sooner, if I hadn’t let my anger cloud my judgment, if I had just listened instead of storming out like a fool... none of this would be happening. The wolfbane wouldn’t be coursing through her veins, slowly draining the life from her. Our child wouldn’t be in danger. And I wouldn’t be sitting here, begging the Moon Goddess for mercy.

"I’m sorry, Leila," I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. "I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve protected you."

Tears blurred my vision as I leaned my forehead against her hand, my body shaking with the weight of my remorse. The bond between us had grown weak, just like her. I could barely feel her through it, as if she was slipping further and further away from me with every passing second.

I couldn’t lose her. Not like this.

"I was so angry," I continued, my voice hoarse. "But it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. I let my fear and my doubts get the better of me, and now... now you’re paying the price for my stupidity."

I didn’t deserve her forgiveness. Hell, I didn’t even deserve to be sitting here. But I couldn’t leave. Not again. Not when the love of my life and our unborn child were hanging on the edge of death.

Nelly seated inside quietly. She didn’t say a word, but her presence was a comfort. She came over to the other side of the bed and placed a gentle hand on Leila’s forehead, her eyes filled with concern.

I choked out. "The doctor said it’s up to her now. She has to fight, but... she’s so weak, Nelly. I don’t know if she can."

Nelly closed her eyes, a pained expression crossing her face. "She’s strong, Drake. She’s been through so much already. Don’t give up on her. She needs you to believe in her, now more than ever."

Believe in her.

I wanted to. God, I wanted to believe that Leila could fight through this, that she and our baby would survive. But seeing her like this... it was killing me inside. Every minute that passed felt like another step closer to losing them, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

Nelly’s hand rested on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "You’re not alone in this, Drake. We’ll all be here for her, and for you. She’ll pull through. She has to."

I nodded weakly, though deep down, I didn’t know if I could hold on to that hope. I had already failed Leila so many times. If I lost her now, if I lost our baby, I’d never forgive myself. I wouldn’t deserve forgiveness.

As Nelly left the room, I remained by Leila’s side, watching her chest rise and fall with agonizing slowness. Every breath felt like a ticking clock, each second bringing me closer to an outcome I wasn’t prepared to face.

The memory of when I first learned she was pregnant came rushing back to me. The fear, the doubt, the uncertainty—it all seemed so insignificant now. she had been scared of becoming a mother, scared of what it would mean for us. But now, standing on the brink of losing everything, I realized how much I wanted it—how much I wanted them.

The life we could have had.

The family we could have been.

The dream was slipping through my fingers, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I clenched my teeth, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. I needed to be strong for Leila, for our baby. But the crushing weight of my failure was more than I could bear.

I took a deep breath, my throat tight with emotion, and pressed a kiss to Leila’s cold hand. "You have to fight," I whispered. "For me. For our baby. Please... don’t leave me."

I didn’t care if she couldn’t hear me. I didn’t care if it was too late. I needed to say the words. I needed her to know that I was here, that I was sorry, that I would do anything—anything—to make this right.

Just then, the door opened again, and the doctor entered with a serious expression. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked up at him, fear clawing at my insides.

"We’ve run more tests," the doctor said, his tone grave. "The wolfbane has taken a toll on both Leila and the baby. We’re doing everything we can to stabilize her, but... we’re running out of time."

His words hit me like a sledgehammer. Running out of time. I felt like the ground had been pulled from under me, and I was free-falling into an abyss with no end in sight.

"There’s one more thing we can try," the doctor continued, glancing at me hesitantly. "It’s a risky procedure, but it may be the only way to save one or both of them."

I stood up, my heart racing. "What is it? What do we need to do?"