Avenging Luna
Chapter 66: Not Ready

Chapter 66: Not Ready

Leila’s POV:

Since the moment I regained my true self, life has been nothing but a whirlwind. One intense event after another, each one pushing me to the brink and then pulling me back just in time for the next storm. It started with Drake, finding out the truth about me—about everything I’d tried so hard to hide from him—and his reaction wasn’t what I had expected. He didn’t blame me, didn’t see me as the monster I feared I was. If anything, it made our bond stronger.

And then we crossed that line, the one we’d both been tiptoeing around for so long. The deed. The physical culmination of all the tension and passion between us, and damn if it didn’t set our love life ablaze. Drake wasn’t just my mate in name anymore. He was mine in every sense of the word, and I could feel it in my bones. The intimacy we shared was electrifying, his touch addictive, and yet it was so much more than just desire. It was the way he made me feel safe, cherished—things I’d never believed I deserved.

But with passion came the complications. The shadows of my past still lingered, none more potent than Raphael. I used to think I’d never get over what he did to me, the fear he instilled deep within me. I’d been broken, haunted by the trauma of his attack, but I fought through it. With Drake by my side, I faced my fear, stood tall, and when I finally had my revenge on Raphael, it felt like a weight had lifted from my soul. One tormentor down, one more to go.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get more chaotic, life had a twisted way of surprising me. Lily, the one person who had almost torn me and Drake apart, reappeared out of nowhere. Of all times, she had to come back now, claiming she was here for the child she’d abandoned. The child that wasn’t even Drake’s. The one she had left out of sheer spite, and now, months later, she wanted to play the concerned mother? It made my blood boil. How dare she return and pretend like she cared? That child was safe in the loving arms of Lucas and Nelly, not in the hands of the woman who had discarded him.

And while I was still trying to make sense of Lily’s return, the Blood Moon pack was coming for us—coming for *me*. Because I’d killed their alpha. And while I knew what I did was right, it didn’t stop the inevitable consequences. War. Bloodshed. All of it because of my past, because I acted in self-defense. I should’ve burned that pack to the ground while I had the chance. They were relentless, seeking vengeance for their fallen leader, and now Drake’s pack, my pack, was caught in the crosshairs.

It was as if the universe was determined to test me at every turn. First Raphael, now Lily, and a pack hell-bent on revenge. And then, there was the small, nagging thought that had been creeping into the back of my mind for days—something I hadn’t dared to voice aloud. Something that scared me more than all the battles I’d fought.

I might be pregnant.

The signs were subtle at first. Little things I brushed off—fatigue, nausea, an unfamiliar tightness in my lower abdomen. But as the days passed, it became harder to ignore. The idea that a life could be growing inside me was terrifying. Not because I didn’t want Drake’s child, but because I didn’t know how to be a mother. How could I give this child the love and care it would need when I’d never known that kind of love myself? My mother had never been a mother to me. She had abandoned me emotionally long ago. What if I ended up like her? What if I couldn’t be what my child needed?

I didn’t think I was ready. Hell, I knew I wasn’t ready. Motherhood had never been something I thought about, never a role I envisioned for myself. And now, with war looming and Lily stirring up old wounds, it felt like the worst possible time for this kind of revelation.

Drake didn’t know. How could he? We were so caught up in the chaos of everything else that there was no time to even process what was happening. And I didn’t know how to tell him. What if he wanted this, more than anything? What if this was something he’d been hoping for all along? The idea of disappointing him gnawed at me, twisted my gut into knots. I loved him, fiercely, but this was different. This was a responsibility I didn’t know if I could handle.

What if I failed? What if I became the kind of mother I had feared my entire life—cold, distant, incapable of love? The thought alone sent a shiver down my spine. I’d been so focused on survival, on revenge, that I’d never stopped to think about what came after. What kind of future Drake and I could build together. Now, that future seemed so uncertain, and I didn’t know how to face it.

Drake would be a wonderful father. Of that, I had no doubt. He had a heart big enough to love fiercely and protect those he cared about. He was strong, loyal, everything a leader and a mate should be. But me? I wasn’t sure I had it in me to be the kind of mother a child deserved. The fear of failing, of not being enough, consumed me.

I didn’t want to tell Drake yet, not until I was sure. Not until I knew how I felt about it, because right now, all I felt was fear. Fear that this was happening too fast, that I wasn’t ready to take on something as monumental as motherhood. I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea of being responsible for a tiny, fragile life when I was still figuring out how to live my own.

But then again, life had a way of throwing the unexpected at you. If someone had told me months ago that I’d find my mate, overcome my darkest fears, and fight for a pack that I now called home, I would’ve laughed in their face. And yet, here I was—standing on the precipice of something even bigger.

The Blood Moon pack could come for us. Lily could stir up all the chaos she wanted. None of it mattered in comparison to what I was facing now. A possible future that was bigger than just me and Drake. A future I didn’t feel prepared for, but one that might be coming whether I liked it or not.

I stood in front of the mirror, my hands subconsciously resting on my lower abdomen. The idea that something so small, so innocent, could be growing inside me filled me with a strange mix of emotions—fear, yes, but also wonder. Could I really be a mother? Could I give this child the love it needed, the love I never received?

I didn’t know. And that scared me more than anything else.

But as I stared at my reflection, I realized something. Life had thrown me into situations I never thought I could survive, and yet, here I was. Stronger. Fiercer. A fighter. Maybe, just maybe, I could face this too. Maybe I could be more than just the daughter of a broken lineage. Maybe I could break the cycle.

But first, I had to be sure. I had to know if this was real.

And I had to tell Drake.

But not tonight. Not yet. First, I needed time to process. To figure out how I felt about all of this, and whether I could face the fear head-on, the way I had faced everything else.

Because if there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that Drake and I didn’t do anything halfway. If we were going to take this on, we’d take it on together, no matter how terrifying it seemed.

And if I really was carrying his child, there was no turning back. Not for either of us.

I stood there, staring at my reflection, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me. My hands lingered on my stomach, where the potential life inside me might be growing. It was surreal—this mixture of terror and awe that swirled within me. A child, Drake’s child. The idea should’ve made me feel something close to joy, but instead, it felt like a storm gathering on the horizon.

Could I do this? Could I actually be a mother? More importantly, should I be?

My chest tightened at the thought. No one ever taught me how to be a mother. I had spent so much of my life fighting to survive, that the idea of nurturing something so fragile and innocent felt... alien. My own mother had abandoned me emotionally long before I ever knew what love from a parent should feel like. I barely had a chance to be a child myself. How could I possibly give that to someone else?

I turned away from the mirror, pacing the room as my thoughts raced uncontrollably. The Blood Moon pack was preparing for war, Lily was back with her own twisted agenda, and here I was, unsure of what my next step should be. How could I bring a child into this? Into all of this chaos?

And what about Drake? How would he react? I could already see the look in his eyes if I told him. He would be excited, hopeful. He’d think it was a blessing, something that could bind us even closer together. He would want this child, I knew that. He’d expect me to feel the same, to share in his joy.

But I didn’t feel joy. I felt fear.

Fear of failing. Fear of not being enough. Fear that I’d become like my mother, distant and cold, unworthy of the love of my own child. What if I couldn’t break that cycle? What if I ended up doing more harm than good?

The decision weighed heavily on me, so heavy that it felt suffocating.

I sank onto the edge of the bed, my mind spinning with possibilities. I could carry this child, raise it, love it the way Drake would want me to. I could try to be the mother I never had, but what if I couldn’t? What if I resented this child for the future it would take away from me—the life I was just starting to rebuild with Drake?

Or...

The other option crept into my mind, dark and unwelcome. But it was there, impossible to ignore. If I wasn’t ready, if I truly believed that I wasn’t capable of being a mother, there was another way.

A choice I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge until now.

I swallowed hard, the thought hitting me like a punch to the gut. Could I even go through with something like that? Could I really make the decision to... end it?

I shook my head, trying to clear the haze of confusion. The mere idea of it felt wrong, but at the same time, was it fair to bring a child into a life that was already filled with so much uncertainty? I wasn’t ready. Not mentally, not emotionally. And with a war looming over us, how could I justify bringing a life into this chaos?

Tears stung the corners of my eyes as I sat there, trapped between the fear of the unknown and the crushing weight of responsibility. I hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t planned for it. And now, I was faced with a choice that could change everything.

What would Drake think? What would he say if I told him I wasn’t ready for this? That I might not want this at all? Would he understand? Or would it break us?

I didn’t have answers, only questions.

I could feel Layla stirring within me, sensing my turmoil, but she was silent. She offered no comfort, no guidance.

A cold chill ran through me as the possibility of what I might have to do solidified in my mind. The thought terrified me, but at the same time, there was a strange sense of relief in knowing that there was still a choice.

But was it the right one?

I stood up, my legs trembling as I made my way to the window, staring out at the darkened sky. The moon was full, casting an eerie glow over the forest below, and for a moment, everything felt calm. Still. As if the world was holding its breath, waiting for me to make a decision.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to go through with it.

But one thing was certain:

I had to make a choice.

And once I did, there would be no turning back.

The question was... could I live with that choice?

As I stood there, staring into the night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever decision I made next would change everything—for better or worse.

And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the consequences.

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