Alpha's Dark Desires
Chapter 71: I Can Be All Sweets And Roses For You

Chapter 71: I Can Be All Sweets And Roses For You

Elena’s POV:

I know I shouldn’t panic. I know. But damn it, how could I not? Sitting here with that contract in my hands, reading words that practically leapt off the page like some kind of horror story—it was too much. I am a virgin. A naïve, clueless virgin who’d grown up fantasizing about fairytale romance and the gentle kind of love that left you breathless, not bruised. And this? This scared the ever-loving hell out of me.

Okay, so I knew the first time wasn’t all roses and fireworks. It was supposed to hurt a little, right? Fine, I could deal with that. But spanking? Gagging? Whipping? Bounding? My heart raced just thinking about it. I mean, what the hell had I gotten myself into? I’d always thought sex was about soft touches, whispered words, and that heart-thumping intimacy you see in all the cheesy romance movies. I never imagined it would be... this. Torture dressed up as pleasure.

I could feel the blood drain from my face as the images of what I’d read swirled in my mind. No way. No freaking way. I hadn’t saved myself all these years just to be tied up and used like some kind of... I don’t even know what to call it! And sure, I knew there were people who loved this kind of thing—hell, they probably lived for it—but me? I wasn’t one of them. I couldn’t be.

Kane said he was done with all of it. He’d promised he wanted me and not whatever twisted games he used to play with women like Ashley. But was that really forever? Could a man like Kane—a man who had apparently thrived on control and pain—just flip a switch and change? What if, one day, he got bored with me? What if he started craving... that again? Would I ever be enough for him?

The thought made my chest tighten, fear creeping in like an unwelcome guest. This wasn’t just about the contract or Ashley or any of the women who had called him "Master." This was about us. About me. About whether I could ever truly give him what he needed without losing myself in the process.

I dropped the contract onto the couch, my hands shaking as I tried to take a steadying breath. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was being a judgmental bitch about someone else’s desires. But no amount of rationalizing was going to change how I felt. I was terrified. Absolutely, gut-wrenchingly terrified.

And Kane... he was watching me. His dark eyes filled with a mixture of concern and something else—something I couldn’t quite place. He didn’t say anything, didn’t try to explain or defend himself. He just waited. It was as if he knew I needed to work through this on my own, to sort through the storm of thoughts and emotions swirling inside me.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to imagine a world where I could embrace all of this. Where I could accept every part of him, even the parts that scared me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see me tied up or gagged or whipped. I couldn’t see myself becoming the kind of woman he used to crave.

I opened my eyes and met his gaze, my voice trembling as I finally spoke. "Kane... I can’t do this. I can’t be that for you. I don’t even know if I’ll ever be enough for you."

His face softened, and for a moment, I thought he might reach for me. But he didn’t. Instead, he just said, "You’re more than enough for me, Elena. I don’t need any of that anymore. I need you."

His words sounded so sincere, so final. But the doubt still lingered, gnawing at the edges of my mind. Could I really believe him? Could I trust that the man who’d lived this way for so long would never want to go back? I didn’t know. And that uncertainty scared me more than anything else.

"What if you desire it again?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them, raw and trembling with fear. "What if, at some point, you want that kind of life again? I wouldn’t—I can’t—be this for you. Does that mean you’ll look elsewhere?" My voice broke, and I hated the vulnerability in it, but it was impossible to keep it hidden. The weight of the fear pressing down on my chest made it hard to breathe.

Kane’s expression shifted, his jaw tightening, but his eyes... they were filled with something I couldn’t quite place. Regret? Guilt? Maybe both. He didn’t speak right away, and the silence felt deafening, my thoughts spiraling as I tried to fill in the gaps his hesitation left behind.

"I know we said we’d give us time," I continued, my voice growing quieter but no less frantic, "but I can’t help it, Kane. I can’t stop trying to foresee what comes next, to prepare myself for what might happen. Ashley’s words keep echoing in my head. About how I could never fulfill your desires, how you needed something I could never give you. She was right, wasn’t she? Your desires... they’re dark. And they’re scaring the shit out of me."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. I didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to appear even weaker than I already felt. I was laying my soul bare in front of him, terrified of what his answer might be.

Kane finally leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he dragged a hand through his hair. "Elena," he said softly, his voice low and hoarse, "I know this is hard for you to understand. Hell, it’s hard for me to even explain. But that part of my life... it’s over. I don’t need it. I don’t want

I shook my head, frustration bubbling to the surface. "But what if you do one day? What if, years from now, you start craving it again? What if I’m not enough for you, Kane? Because I can’t be that. I can’t be tied up or whipped or—" I broke off, choking on the words as the images from the contract flashed through my mind again.

He moved then, coming to kneel in front of me, his hands reaching for mine but stopping just short, as if he was afraid to push me further away. "You are enough," he said firmly, his voice filled with a quiet intensity that made my heart ache. "You’re more than enough, Elena. I don’t want the things I used to. I don’t need the control, the... darkness. I need you. Just you."

I searched his face, desperate to believe him, to trust the sincerity in his words. But the doubt still lingered, a shadow I couldn’t quite shake. "How do I know that, Kane? How do I know this isn’t just temporary? That you won’t wake up one day and realize you’ve made a mistake? That I’m not what you really want?"

He exhaled sharply, his hands finally closing over mine as he looked me directly in the eyes. "Because I’ve already made that mistake, Elena. I’ve lived that life, and it left me empty. It left me cold. I’ve been searching for something real, something that makes me feel alive, and I’ve found it. I’ve found you. You’re my mate, my everything. And I’m not going to screw this up."

I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to believe him so badly. But the fear wouldn’t let go, the images of Ashley and the contract and all the whispers about Kane’s past swirling in my mind like a storm. "I don’t know if I can do this," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"You can," he said softly but with an edge of determination. "And I’ll prove it to you. Every day, for the rest of our lives, I’ll prove it to you. You don’t have to be afraid, Elena. I’m not that man anymore. I swear to you, I’m not."

I looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deception, but all I saw was sincerity. Still, the fear was there, lurking in the background, whispering doubts into my ear. But for now, I chose to hold on to his words, to the hope that maybe—just maybe—he was telling the truth. That maybe I really could be enough for him.

As Kane knelt before me, his words hung heavy in the air, carrying a mixture of promise and reassurance that I desperately wanted to believe. But my doubts refused to let go. "What if I do something wrong," I whispered, my voice trembling, "and you feel the need to punish me? Like the times you promised to... to punish me when I got better?"

His expression softened, and for a moment, the weight of his gaze felt almost unbearable. "Yeah, you can be infuriating most of the time," he admitted with a small smirk that only made me more anxious, "but if it were to happen, I promise you, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he silenced me by leaning forward and pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. "I’m always creative," he murmured, his tone light yet tinged with sincerity. "You need to stop worrying that pretty head of yours. I’ve told you, and I’ll tell you again—no matter how scary you think that stuff is, it’s never is, the fear it is all in your head. It’s about trust, Elena. And with you? It’s about so much more than that."

I looked down at him, his words washing over me like a soothing balm, but the tension in my chest didn’t completely dissolve. "But... I don’t want to be someone who has to constantly live up to some ideal or... or..."

He cut me off again, this time with a slightly firmer tone. "Elena," he said, his hands gently cupping mine, grounding me in the moment, "I can always be that perfect prince charming you want. All of it—down to the rose petals if that’s what makes you happy." His lips twitched in a half-smile, but his eyes held a quiet determination that made my heart ache. "It’s you I want and need. Not the idea of you, not just the mate bond. You. And I definitely don’t want you for sex."

I blinked at him, startled by the bluntness of his words.

"Yeah, the sex is good," he added with a small chuckle that made heat rise to my cheeks, "but I don’t need you for that. You’ve got to understand that first. It’s about more than that with you. It’s always been more than that."

For a moment, the storm inside me quieted. His words were raw, honest, and unlike the Kane I’d known before. Maybe he really had changed, or maybe I was seeing the side of him he’d always hidden. Either way, the walls I’d built to protect myself felt just a little less solid, and I found myself holding on to his promises just a bit tighter.

But how far can he go?