Alpha Damon's Greatest Regret
Chapter 58- Friends Past

Chapter 58: Chapter 58- Friends Past

DAMON~

"Do you want to talk about something?" Dr. Anita asked softly, I had been staring at the wall since I came in and I could only wonder what kind of expression the look on my face conveyed, I broke my eyes away from the wall and turned to her.

"I don’t know, I feel overwhelmed," I answered, my voice husky with exhaustion.

"What causing this feeling." She asked, I stared at her and put a hand on my chest.

"My life is literally a ticking clock and there’s this mountain I must climb before time runs out, I’m scared I won’t be able to reach the top before I go," I said, my voice filled with an intense amount of sadness and desperation.

"But you can’t show it, can you?"

"The Alpha has to be strong."

"What about Damon, isn’t Damon allowed time to show weakness."

"I get what you mean by me having time for myself but on the grand scale of things my psyche doesn’t matter."

"Why do you think that?"

"Cause I’m just a cog in a machine and no matter what a cog needs to do what it was made for."

"But if the cog gets overwhelmed then it can’t perform even half as well as it’s supposed to."

"That’s why I’m here," I admitted as I took my hand off my chest and ran it through my hair.

"Can you tell me more about what you’re feeling?" She asked, her voice soft, every word filled with care and intimacy, it felt like she was speaking directly to my soul. I sighed before I answered.

"I feel like I’m doing too much but at the same time I’m not doing enough," I said, my heart aching as the words left my mouth.

"It’s hard to work on a time limit, it’s harder when you have people depending on you."

"Yeah."

"Do the people who care about you know how you feel?" she asked, her words made me chuckle softly.

"What people, I don’t have people who care about me, I have subordinates," I answered quietly.

"What about your Luna?"

"That cheating bitch left me," I answered angrily, She raised a brow at me and I immediately corrected myself.

"I’m sorry, she left me."

"How did her actions affect you?"

"Her actions, to be completely honest, they didn’t really do anything, yeah I felt betrayed at first but after that initial period, I didn’t really care, the boy was my son regardless of blood."

"Why do you think you felt that way?"

"Well I didn’t want her to be my Luna, but I couldn’t have the person I wanted, I wanted to make that person suffer instead, so I guess I chose her to be my Luna out of spite."

"Hmmmm. Let’s talk about your feelings towards the people that surround you."

"Well that’s easy, I and Daniel used to be like brothers, then l and Carlos, well that’s a little more complicated, he looks up to me for some reason, so I can’t be a lesser man around him," I answered. She thought for a bit before jotting something down in her note.

"Why did you say you and Daniel used to be like brothers."

"I mean, when my dad died and I took over, he was there, he helped me out, that’s why I made him my advisor, throughout the first couple years of bringing the pack back up he was by my side....but after we got to the finish line, I guess— I realized we were too different, so we kind of drifted apart even though I kept him close cause he was still my advisor."

"Do you miss the relationship you had?"

"Not really, you know when you can think back at people who’ve changed and you’ll have all these good memories with them, I don’t have any of those with Daniel, we got along out of necessity."

"Do you have any other friends?"

"Before my dad died there was this guy named Jermaine."

"What happened to him?"

"Well Jermaine wasn’t from Howlcreek, he was from this small pack that got wiped out when they tried to invade us, he was the only survivor, my dad brought him in and we got along well, like really well, games, we would wrestle, we would plan out how we were gonna ask out girls," I said, my voice choking up as I remembered our last Interaction.

"Then?"

"After my dad died he tried to be there for me, but I made it increasingly clear I didn’t want him to then one night I snapped at him, calling him names, telling him he didn’t belong here but still he didn’t leave, cause he was that kind of guy that’d be with you through thick and thin."

"So why did he leave?"

"I didn’t know the other members of the pack didn’t know he was a stray, my dad told me to not tell anyone but I didn’t know that’s why, So one night during a bonfire, I called him a stray and I said ’You’ll never know what it feels like, Cause your family were nothing but garbage strays’.

That’s when it all changed, he started getting bullied and when he beat one bully two more would come, after a while it got to the point where they’d beat him up when he tried to sleep and I didn’t do anything about it, He couldn’t take it anymore, so he left."

"Do you regret it?"

"Of course I do."

"Ok then, I’m gonna give you an assignment." She said I leaned forward.

"What kind?"

"I want you to find Jermaine—"

"And do what Apologize?" I interrupted rudely, angrily standing on my feet

"Yes."

"And how will I go about that, Hey man sorry about getting you beat up so much, is that it? Huh? Is that what you want me to do?" I barked loudly, angrily, at the top of my voice, while she just remained quiet and looked at me with a smile, I stopped seeing she wasn’t saying anything and looked at her, my breathing heavy as I tried to catch a breath.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you done?" She asked abruptly, I was taken aback, how was she rude yet so polite "If you’re done then sit down." She continued, my face twisted but I obliged, she raised a brow at me.

"I’m sorry for losing my temper." I apologized, she smiled and crossed her legs.

"Good, let’s continue." She calmly said.