A Wife for the Billionaire
Chapter 65: SOFIA

Chapter 65: SOFIA

Yes, I’m a monster. I think that is clear by now.

But wait, surely you didn’t think I was so innocent? That I was an epitome of purity and the perfect girl any mother would wish his son to marry?

I almost scoffed at that thought of myself being held in such high regard. I have done things, said things and wished things that in every way, makes someone bad.

But come to think of it, aren’t we all bad? Born into the original sin, if the words of the so-called holy book is to be believed. We are all bad. Under the shiny and glowing skin tones, like the perfect rouge of Snow White’s poisoned apple, we are all rotten inside.

So sorry to disappoint you, but this isn’t

a story where the female lead bears the character similarities of Cinderella, no matter how similar some details are.

I have my good qualities and I also have my bad qualities. I’m not some wretched girl with a wicked stepmom and evil twin sisters, who’s waiting for a fairy godmother or prince charming to save her.

I’m Sofia Reed, and Blake is just an alias to sugar coat my bad side, but don’t be deceived I’m as bad as they come.

Wow, that felt good. Now, I understand why serial killers, rapists, murderers and all those evil people, thrill at the idea of badness.

Being bad can be as intoxicating as Molly and addictive like power.

It’s no wonder those who are defined by it, those who are so rotten that it shows on their skin, seldom find it hard to let go.

Don’t mind me and my crazy ramblings. I’m not that bad, at least not like Richard, Alicia or her evil daughters.

And I know it’s kinda self righteous to say that, but at least I don’t treat people like shit, nor do I walk over others just because life played fair with me or chose to be kind towards me.

And I think what really makes a person bad is how he/she handles issues when in the wrong. Does he/she show remorse, apologize or show even the tiniest bit of rue?

Or does he/she steel his heart against regret? Does he/she wedge the heart from feeling the pang of his/her actions? Does he/she block his ears to the voice of reasoning and the echoes of conscience?

We are born bad, but that doesn’t make us bad, it makes us human. We become bad when we succumb to the darkness, when we reel in the voices goading us away from the good.

...

"I’m sorry, Charlie, but I don’t feel the same" I muttered, not trusting myself to bear the look of pain that marred his features.

"Figured. How foolish of me to think you felt the same, but chose to hide it for the sake of your stepmom and her daughters? So foolish, very foolish" he kept saying, slapping himself over and over again.

I was forced to look at him, he was a pitiful sight. His dick had gone flaccid, but he hadn’t bothered to pull up his briefs or his pants. He hobbled around, almost entirely nude.

He wasn’t really slapping his cheeks, he was hitting his foreheads with his palm repeatedly.

At that moment, I wondered why someone would pray to feel such a pathetic emotion? Why people hyped an emotion that can reduce a man to a simpleton?

How could love be so cruel? How could it fester its talons in the mind and reduce it to mush? How could it strip a man of basic reasoning that he cares nothing about pulling his pants on, or a woman that she insists on staying with a criminal?

People say this feeling is blind. And when they liken it to not being able to see, I don’t think they actually understand the true depth of that analogy.

Love being blind doesn’t just mean that

it shades the mind from imperfections and flaws, both physically and mentally.

It also means that it blinds our mind’s eye from accepting truths that normally should be stark naked before ordinary eyes.

Like a blind fold, love can keep us from seeing what’s right in front of us, the red flags and all the reasons why the person whom our hearts beat and ache for, is not the right one for us.

"I like you, Charlie. I do. I don’t know of love, but I like this," I pointed at us.

"Then what is it? You like me, I love you, and I know with time you will come to love me as well, so why then did you scoff my confession away like it meant nothing?"

He wasn’t understanding me, I knew that much. His love for me, deafened him from comprehending my words. He only heard the possibility of being, the hope of continuation, nothing else.

In exasperation, I hurled,

"Because this will never be more. It can’t get any better than this. This is it and if you think otherwise then I don’t think there’s any other reason for us to continue"

"What if I want to marry you? Surely, you want to get away from this hellhole, so why not? Let me give you the freedom to chase after your dreams." He went down on one knee, his dick still very much not covered.

Had my heart not been broken already, I think that would’ve done it.

"I wish I could, Charlie. I really wish I could, but it’s not that simple. Alicia won’t let me go that easy and please don’t ask me to explain because I can’t." I wiped at the tear that escaped my right eye.

"But we can convince her, surely there must be something we can do, please Sofia" he had crawled with both knees to where I stood.

"There isn’t, I’m really sorry, Charlie, but happiness is just not meant for me"

"Don’t say that, you deserve happiness. You deserve love, care and all the beautiful things life has to offer. You deserve it all and more."

"Life has offered me nothing, but it’s negative side and to even dream of anything else would be cruel. You don’t really know me, Charlie, and I doubt you would still love me if you really do, so for both our sakes, goodbye."

"No, wait, Sofia please!!!"

But I never looked back, I left him there still on his knees and naked.

He had kept coming night after night, but I never showed up at our spot. I wanted to, seeing him pacing from my window, I had wanted to, but sometimes letting go is the best choice.

People rarely forget an experience like that and I think his grudge was what prompted him to tell Alicia about the cleaning job.

From the little time we spent together, I had told him of my dreams, but not how impossible it’s actualization was. And yet, this... the job of a cleaner was what he wanted for me. I guess he hates me that much now.

Thankfully I wasn’t here for the cleaning job, telling Alicia about it was all a ruse to get me out of the house so I could pay Anna Wintour a visit.

"Neither" I said in response to his question.

"So, why are you here?"

"I know you must hate me now and I totally deserve it, but telling Mrs Holman I think that’s a bit much"

He stole a glance at the old lady, who punched away at the keyboard and in a whisper he said,

"I didn’t tell her, she figured it out. Besides, heartbreak is not really something that one could hide, but I guess you found a way to sweep yours under a carpet, oh wait, that’s right, you were never heartbroken to begin with."

I had to flinch at the hate laced in his words, and found myself taking a step back.

"Perhaps this was a mistake, what was I

even thinking, sorry for wasting your

time, Charlie" I said, turning away from him and making for the door.

A foot in the threshold and he called,

"Wait!", then softly he added, "just tell me what you want, at least for old times sake"

I smiled. I had expected that. Plays like that always worked. No matter how much he had wanted to believe that he hated me, I knew a part of him still loved me.

And that another thing with love, even when it breaks you, it doesn’t leave. It leeches on, no matter how much you want otherwise.

"No, forget it. I really don’t want to inconvenience you." I offered, my gaze still away from him and my foot still on the threshold.

"Stop that. You could never be an inconvenience, just tell me why you came?" He pulled at me.

"Fine, if you insist. First of all, I really appreciate the job offer, that was very considerate of you, but I can’t settle for such. I want more and you know that, so that’s why I’m going to see a friend of mine on the East side of town, and I need you to please cover for me in case Alicia calls."

"So you want me to lie for you?"

"No, no, it’s not necessarily a lie, I mean I came here didn’t I? All you have to tell her when she calls cause I know her spying ass will, is that I came, that’s all."

When he stalled, I quickly added, squeezing his hand,

"Please, I really need this."

"Alright, I will, but remember I’m doing this for old times sake."

"Thanks, Charlie. You are a lifesaver" I dabbed a kiss on his cheek and rushed out of there.