A Time of Tigers - From Peasant to Emperor
Chapter 1499 - 1499: The Weight of War - Part 2

"If the Gods were good, it would have been your Uncle who reigned as High King now," Oliver said.

"I trust their decisions," Asabel said. "There will have been a reason for this all. All this suffering, this deceit, and poison. There ought to be some meaning to it. Our Kingdom will suffer now, as it never has before. Do not tell me that you believe it aches in its agony without purpose."

"I believe the farmer would struggle to see the purpose," Oliver said. "The war escapes his attention, until the very moment that it tramples his fields, and sets his crops burning."

"…I do not mean merely the individual, Oliver," Asabel said. "Do you not feel the Stormfront weeping? The very land that our ancestors came and settled. All that history, all those tears, the love, the blood, poured into the earth. It aches, as we do, for a change. We delude ourselves with the idea that we have made a choice here tonight – we were merely pushed towards what the country itself wanted. All these events, I could wager, were set in motion hundreds of years ago, from the very first conquering of the First King, and those who came after him, who could not struggle to match him. Perhaps our suffering as a nation is merely due to the weight of the First King's shadow."

A strangely cold chill passed through Oliver as he said that. Once, those words would have had no effect on him. But he'd read far too much of the First King's work by now. He was struck continually by the feeling that there had lived no man greater than him. The way he saw the world was entirely different, and the results he carved out were impossible.

"…Do you not think we came close to matching him, in your Uncle, and in Dominus?" Oliver asked.

"We, Oliver?" Asabel said. "Do you not think it is the country itself that gave birth to those things?"

"…I am unsure," Oliver said. "You continue to speak as if the country had a will of its own. I'm not so certain. I see through the hearts of the individual, and I see how their choices brought about what we are. The grand scale of a country in its entirety eludes me."

"You, Oliver," Asabel said. "You are an abnormality that the country gave birth to. All of this history, all of these events. They have sharpened you into what you are. Recall your age, Oliver Patrick, and now recall your title. You are a General now."

"A General in name only," Oliver corrected her. "For the sake of politics. Blackwell supposed it was necessary, that if I were acting as the go-between between our two factions, then I ought to bear a title worthy enough for that position."

"…I do not understand your point," Asabel said. "I point to the strangeness of your position, and you counter by telling me the weight of the responsibility that was placed on your shoulders?"

"We are friends, Asabel," Oliver said. "I can't call it a responsibility. You are far too kind to me. How can I act as if it was any great task, to come and beseech you, knowing that in agreement or disagreement, you would be as kind as you always are?"

"Then why did you seem so nervous?" Asabel said accusingly. "Your eyes wandered, and yours hands shook, despite your attempts to hide it."

"…Then you see through me," Oliver said.

"Your body recognizes the significance of where we stand, even if you do not," she told him. She held up her own shaking hand for him to see, and smiled at it. "See? Mine does as well. My mind can hardly process what we have walked into, yet the body feels it, and it trembles."

"…Can your body bear the burden?" Oliver asked, quite seriously. "It shall only get worse, Queen Asabel, when we see the reality that we have wrought ourselves. When things are set in motion, we will no longer have control of them. The war will become a creature of its own."

"It already has," Asabel told him gently. "It already has. I will play my role. If I can operate with even a fraction of the dignity and grace that my Uncle had, I will consider my role well played. I dare not aim for any more than that."

Oliver could see, increasingly, the stress that it brought her, and increasingly, it gnawed at his heart, to know that he was the primary cause of it. "…Will you be able to tell someone when it gets too much? Can you speak honestly with your retainers? What of Lancelot, would he help you shoulder the burden?"

"…You know as well as I the position a Queen must occupy. A Queen has no friends, a Queen has servants," Asabel said.

"Must you always be a Queen?" Oliver asked her, feeling the cruelty of his question.

She looked at him for a little too long, and her eyes began to water. "Do not make me wish for things that could not be true," she said. "When one puts on the crown, one can not take it off, not without giving it up entirely."

"I was part of the reason that you put on that crown," Oliver said.

"Stop. We have been through this line of conversation before. I did what needed to be done. My ideals were different than that of my family. You merely pushed me towards that which I wished to be," Asabel said. "You have started me on the course that I have dreamed of for the longest time, that I feared to start myself. I am proud, Oliver Patrick. Have you seen how much I have achieved? It has been far too long since we have been able to speak sincerely like this, but you have been watching, haven't you?"

"I have watched, Asabel," Oliver said. "I had not realized your strength. Your Pillars do not only serve you, they respect you. Lord Idris and Lord Blackthorn – you have not only won their loyalty, but their hearts. That was obvious enough tonight. And from the mere fraction of land that you were allowed in your Quarter Inheriting, you have built up a small kingdom that puts others on edge. You have drilled out trade routes where once there were none. All that has come under your control has begun to prosper – and you have still found the resources to spare to assist Blackwell and I, when it was time that we asked. I have been proud, continually, to say that I am a subject of yours – that it is you who I have sworn my loyalty to."