A Time of Tigers - From Peasant to Emperor
Chapter 1412 - 1412: Ambitions - Part 9

"Mm. Good to hear it," Oliver said. "The men could do with battle, sooner rather than later. There's work that Skullic claims is available. I've thought to send them out on it, after this tournament is done with."

"That will certainly be good for them, Captain," Yorick said. "It is better to see them blooded sooner rather than later."

Oliver eyed the man. He thought him to be speaking even more stiffly than usual. Where everyone else was able to devote themselves to training with smiles on their faces, Yorick had a particularly glum look.

"Tired, Commander?" Oliver asked him.

"Some…" Yorick admitted. "I wonder how it is they can all do it."

"You mean train as hard as they do?" Oliver said. "I think every man here is used to some form of hardship or another. They're no strangers to hard work in the field, or under the threat of a whip. I imagine this seems almost like light work in comparison."

"Not that," Yorick said. "I meant the tournament."

"Hm?" Oliver raised an eyebrow, not understanding. "What of it?"

"I do not think they understand the nature of it," Yorick said. "How many tens of thousands there shall be in attendance, watching our every move. And how, if we are shamed there, it will spread like the wind."

"Yorick, you've fought on some bloody battlefields with me, and you've overcome some monstrous adversities," Oliver said. "How could it be that you would fear the thoughts of the masses?"

"I must ask, Captain, how it could be that you do not?" Yorick said. "Indeed, I content myself with the knowledge that I do not quite understand you, Ser, and I have told myself that is a good thing. For who am I to understand the deeds of great men? I have campaigned with you, Ser, and know you to indeed be a great man. I do understand, however, how ordinary men can so carry in your footsteps, and declare themselves terribly excited for this tournament, when they most surely have a chance of humiliating themselves. I wonder, then, if it is simply that they do not understand the consequences."

"…I think, perhaps, for our men, it's another matter, Yorick," Oliver said. "You were raised a noble. No doubt you are more sensitive to these matters of humiliation than they are. A good chunk of our numbers are slaves – they have already lived, every day, a far greater humiliation than sneers of the crowd can offer. I imagine the glory shines far brighter than the prospect of failure."

"That… I had not considered," Yorick said, falling into a thoughtful silence.

"In your defence, I think, as a noble it is only natural that the eyes of the crowd will be judging you more harshly than they," Oliver said. "When they are uncouth, people will think it to be natural, and they will think 'there goes a Patrick man, a savage sort' as they have in the past."

"Then they will blame you for it, Captain," Yorick said. "Does that not bother you?"

"Bother me…" Oliver tried to give it serious thought, for he could tell, from the imploring look that Yorick was giving him, that the question meant a great deal to the Captain. "If I had to choose between whether or not I would like them to say such things, naturally, I would prefer that they did not. But I think, after a certain point, there comes a particular pride in being filth, do you not agree?"

Yorick looked at him, stunned by his Captain's grin, and his assertion. Yorick shook his head. "I have to say, Captain, I don't understand to the slightest degree… A pride in being filth, you say?"

"Naturally," Oliver said. "If there comes to be something that the people disdain you for – you in particular – would you not hope that there is a certain degree of potential in that which you are, that others so loathe you for?"

"That seems to be terribly optimistic to me," Yorick said, stunned.

"I think your reaction to be a little too extreme, Commander," Oliver said with a laugh.

Yorick shook his head frantically. "I don't think you understand it from my perspective, Captain. How could I not be shocked? I've never even thought to think in that way. How could I ever dare to believe that my mind could win out against thousands? Because, isn't that indeed what you're saying, Captain, in declaring that? That you hope the masses to be wrong, and you'd dare to bet against it?"

"…Perhaps?" Oliver said. "I feel as if we are diving too deeply into my psyche for me to give you any concrete answers. These are things that I've rarely dwelled on too thoroughly in the past."

"For that reason, I think I must pursue the matter even further," Yorick said, his eyes suddenly aglow with enthusiasm. "To better know the Captain that I serve, and perhaps, to feel a fraction of the power that has afflicted the rest of the men… Ah, but I have already asked too many questions already. I couldn't possibly monopolize all your time."

"Not at all, Commander, if you are troubled, and you suspect that questioning me can help elevate such concerns, then you may ask away," Oliver said. "I would be lying if I said that this line of thought does not intrigue me."

"Then, your boldness, Ser," Yorick said. "This plan to hold the tournament… How is it that everyone can accept it so matter of factly?"

"Ah, if you think they accepted it matter-of-factly, you must not have seen all the complaints from Greeves," Oliver said.

"Not that, Ser," Yorick insisted. "I mean, to propose the plan in the first place – to have the nerve to. I don't understand it at all. Just thinking about it, trying to consider it, it terrifies me. I wonder if I am not just a coward? Ah, no, I am indeed just that. Even the path of becoming a soldier was just another way to escape my cowardice. I've never been a bold man. I've always been timid, and I've wanted to battle that. I don't understand the fire that other men can feel, when they stand up and declare that something belongs to them. And naturally, I can't even begin to imagine how you find the confidence to announce to a nation – and to invite all these various Lords of impossible standing – to visit you, and to fight under your governance."