A Time of Tigers - From Peasant to Emperor
Chapter 1387 - 1387: Brilliance - Part 6

Claudia smiled. "Indeed, it is. He was born to be what the Stormfront necessitated, I think. All the desires, of – in the end – hundreds of thousands of people. There was a particular want for this country… And it was as if the First King was born as the amalgamation of that desire. I do not think we'd see his like ever again."

"I can't match him then," Oliver said. "I have no hope of doing that. If he can move with perfect alignment to the laws of progress, merely by existing, then how could I ever beat perfection?"

"Ah, I might have oversold him, a little. Naturally, the laws of progress are not so easily grasped. But his nature mimicked their ebb and flow. His playfulness matched them. He had a better sense for when to attack, and when to defend… Oh, indeed, now I use battlefield terms for emphasis… Perhaps I'm being affected by this talk as well," Claudia said.

"…Maybe that's it," Oliver said thoughtfully. "Maybe that's the reason he could innocently send thousands to their deaths. Because he knew it would lead to victory, and they knew it would lead to victory. He didn't have the doubts that I would have, in considering other options."

"Perhaps," Claudia conceded. "But I think he was a little more complicated than that, in the end."

"This line of enquiry, it seems, was doomed from the start. No matter how much I try, I'll never be able to emulate what the First King did," Oliver said. "You said it yourself, he was a different creature entirely."

"Ah, but you too are a different creature, Oliver Patrick," Claudia said. "Your nature is a strange one. For you to have endured the burden of Ingolsol and his curse for as long as you did – that is not something you were taught to do. And for the Goddess Claudia to choose to give you her Blessing, despite the danger you posed… That is a matter of significance as well. You should try to be no one, other than what you are."

"And what am I?" Oliver said. "Am I not exactly who I am every day that I exist?"

"You fight against your nature with your mind," Claudia said. "It is your mind that leads to your stagnation. Where there has come the opportunity for excessive thought, you have seen a slowness in your results. When you are allowed to act exclusively on passion, as with your blade, you have born witness to the extraordinary."

"By my hand," Ingolsol said. "His passions aligned with my power. That is all."

"Perhaps," Claudia said. "But it does not change that his nature was what allowed for it, as the High King's nature allowed for the calling of the Goddess Claudia."

"I'm considerably more corrupted than him…" Oliver said. "I battle in anger. I fear. I regret. I can't possibly just enjoy myself all the way."

"Was there not a time when you did enjoy yourself all the way?" Claudia asked.

"When I was a child… Before… But that is the same for most children. We play," Oliver said.

"The children know to play, and they learn more quickly than anyone," Claudia said. "Perhaps there is something in that, which you might be able to find."

"At the very least, overthinking seems to be getting me nowhere," Oliver sighed. "When I think up a plan, and try to exercise it on the Battle board, Volguard and Skullic see straight through me. Their strategic knowledge is infinitely more than mine."

"What of when you fight with your sword?" Claudia said. "I do not believe your mind to be so preoccupied when you do thus."

"It can't be. There's too much to concentrate on," Oliver said.

"And you overwhelm with your sword," Claudia said.

"Only because of my power, not my strategy…" Oliver said. "Though, I do suppose, my sense for battlefield flow… That is indeed a symptom of strategy. Mm…"

"My power," Ingolsol said. "For all power is mine."

"You have both given me much to think on," Oliver said. "I thank you."

Nila's hands were still shaking. It was the most infuriating thing in the world. She'd been enjoying her time with Oliver a great deal lately. She felt as if, finally, things were going back to normal. Or were they right on the boundary of being better than normal? She dared not hope for that… For she still had her particular weakness.

It had improved, but the fact remained, she felt the same sense of fear when she was alone with him. It had abated to a degree, and she had grown used to it by now, but the nervousness that it inflicted in her made their interactions less than they could be. She felt as if she was fighting to control herself.

"You're doing well, little fox," her mother told her, patting her on the head. "You will be fine. You've met together alone many times by now. This time, just like all the other times that you worried about, will be just as fine."

"I know that…" Nila said.

"But you still can't bring yourself to settle?" Mrs Felder said knowingly.

"Mm, sister's hands are shaking," Stephanie pointed out with a giggle as she ran around the tiny central floor of the roundhouse, with a ragged bear made of old cloth in her hand. "Is she cold?"

"Now, now, you leave your sister be," Mrs Felder chided. "If you have to say anything, say 'good luck, Nila'."

"Good luck, Nila," Stephanie echoed sweetly, enjoying the game.

Nila sighed again. She had a wooden box of food tucked under her arm, as well as a bow slung over her shoulder, and the arrows to go with it. Ever since she had taken Lasha hunting the other day, Oliver had been poking fun at her, saying that there wasn't a chance he could do any worse than he did. He seemed to be genuinely excited about the prospect of catching more rabbits than Lasha.

'He's so childish at times,' Nila thought to herself with a warmness that she couldn't deny. But that didn't make her nervousness any easier. It was basically a perfect day. And perfection came with an awful lot of pressure. She didn't want to let her strange fear – which still didn't make a lick of sense to her – ruin it. She was aware, in the back of her mind, that the few quiet days they'd strung together in a row would be ending soon. There were all sorts of matters to attend to, like the business with Ferdinand, that Greeves warned would begin to grow worse soon enough.