A Mortal’s Immortal Gourd
Chapter 38: So Many Relatives

While Ergouzi was still in the county town, someone had already set their sights on his Shekou Mountain.

The fields at the foot of the mountain all belonged to Ergouzi and had been rented out to A’hu’s family.

Since that family worked in the fields every day, no one could find a chance to sneak up the mountain during daylight hours.

One night, a black shadow appeared at the foot of the mountain.

This person wandered around, feeling here, poking there, fumbling for an entire night.

But just before dawn, he left grumbling and cursing.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to climb the mountain—it was that Ergouzi had been too damn thorough and had completely blocked off the only path up.

And that wasn’t all—even the cliff walls that could’ve been climbed had been smoothed over by heavy sword strikes, polished to a glossy finish. There was simply nowhere to grip.

The shadow tried using lightness skill to force his way up but ended up falling several times, even cracking his head.

But some people in this world are just too stubborn and only get more determined with each failure.

A little setback like this wasn’t enough to scare them off.

There’s no such thing as an easy job—only thieves who are brave and unrelenting.

A few days later, the shadow returned.

This time, he didn’t come alone. He brought two more shadows with him.

As the saying goes, even a hero needs three helpers—thieves are no exception. Success relies on teamwork.

They even came prepared with gear this time.

They carried over ten long ladders and a big bundle of ropes, planning to tie them together to form one extra-long ladder.

The three of them squatted at the base of the mountain, toiling for half the night until they finally connected all the ladders and secured them with rope into a single ladder over twenty zhang tall.

But they hadn’t expected that simply raising the ladder and setting it against the cliff would be incredibly difficult now that it was so long.

Luckily, one of the shadows had decent martial arts skills. Otherwise, they would’ve spent the whole night for nothing.

After tremendous effort, the three of them finally got the ladder up.

It leaned precariously against the smooth cliff face of Shekou Mountain, trembling and swaying—not the least bit secure.

“The ladder’s only a bit over twenty zhang. It’s still too short, but I remember there’s a slightly flatter spot up there. I’ll go take a look.”

“You’re the smallest and nimblest—go up and try it,” one of the shadows said to the slimmest of the group.

“The sages say: a gentleman does not stand under a dangerous wall. I’m not going.”

The small guy looked at the wobbly ladder, clearly terrified.

“I’ll give you twenty taels of silver and find you a matchmaker if you make it up,” the shadow tempted him.

But the small guy stared at the ladder that disappeared into the dark sky and resolutely shook his head.

“The sages say: a gentleman finds peace in poverty and follows the Way. Riches gained unjustly are but floating clouds to me. Your silver doesn’t move me.”

“Come on, I sent you to study to become a Xiucai, not to argue philosophy. This was your idea, and now you’re too scared to climb?”

The shadow smacked the little guy on the head, gritted his teeth, and decided to go himself.

“You two hold the ladder steady. I’m going up.”

“Okay, be careful!”

The two of them held the ladder steady on either side as the shadow grabbed on and started climbing.

The ladder was so long that it swayed with each step he took—completely unstable.

Halfway up, he looked down and saw only pitch black—he couldn’t even see the ground.

Looking up, it was still darkness. Who knew how far it was to the top?

But he was determined to reach the summit—it seemed to call to him.

Every gust of wind sent the ladder swaying for long moments, making his heart race.

Still, he climbed steadily upward.

Then, a strong gust came.

Crack!

The ladder snapped in half.

The black-clad man plummeted like a meteor.

“Aaaaah!”

“Bro—!”

The two at the base screamed.

Luckily, the man had good martial arts and knew some foot-switching light body skills—left stepping on right, right on left—dodging as best he could...

Wham!

He still hit the ground hard, head bleeding profusely.

In the end, his solid martial foundation barely saved his life—he didn’t die on the spot.

“Don’t you dare die!”

“You’re the hope of our whole family!”

The other two hurriedly lifted the injured man and fled the scene.

…

Ergouzi had no idea that someone had tried to climb Shekou Mountain and got seriously hurt.

Thankfully, the people of Anchan County were simple and honest—if a thief fell off Shekou Mountain, Ergouzi wouldn’t be held liable.

He’d been busy with social calls. After the County Captain summoned him, others came knocking too.

The Deputy Constable sought him out—much like the County Captain—first asking about his master, then trying to intimidate him, scaring Ergouzi half to death.

Then came the sweet talk—he could be offered a constable position.

But Ergouzi had already agreed to study at Zhengwu Hall and had land and Shekou Mountain to manage. He couldn’t take on more and politely declined.

Then came a string of wealthy county gentry, all trying to marry off their daughters to him.

Many promised generous dowries: properties in town, shops, farmland outside the city, and more.

Their motives were simple—they wanted a good son-in-law.

Ergouzi’s performance in the exam had been impressive; everyone saw it.

Even if he didn’t pass this round, he was young and could certainly pass next year or the year after.

He might even become a Juren in the future.

Once he became a Juren, he’d be on par with the County Magistrate—by then, these wealthy families wouldn’t even qualify to approach him.

They had plenty of daughters. Betting on one was worth it.

Ergouzi was tempted—the land, the wife, all within reach.

But in the end, he grit his teeth and declined.

As much as he wanted a wife and land, Shekou Mountain was too far from the county.

Even though other land was fertile, nothing could replace a high mountain like Shekou.

Without Windwalking, no one could get up there.

And if he brought a wife home—what about his gourd?

Better to wait a few more years and figure things out later.

Even someone from Dao Xuan Sect came looking for him.

At first, he was scared, thinking someone had leaked his secret and this was revenge.

But the visitor claimed they wanted him to join.

“We were once a great sect in the ancient cultivation world—ten thousand disciples, countless immortal techniques, spirit veins, and mines.

After a devastating war, we were weakened, and the court destroyed our mountain.

But we still have many legacies. Join us, and you can learn them.”

To prove his point, the envoy pulled out a yellow talisman.

“This talisman can turn into a flying sword. Kill someone ten steps away—easy as picking something from a bag.”

“It’s a spell talisman crafted by our Talisman Arts master. Not many cultivators today know how to make these. You’ve probably never seen one.”

Ergouzi looked at the talisman and believed it—he had seen one before and knew its power.

But then he remembered his master’s warning—joining an evil cult was a death sentence.

The court executed any cult member on sight.

If you were an official member, they’d execute your whole family.

That part didn’t worry him much. At most, it would implicate his uncle’s family—he didn’t really have any other relatives.

Still, Ergouzi didn’t hesitate long before declining.

He had land, a future as a Martial Xiucai—why muddy the waters with cults?

“You want to serve the government—I get it. Everyone wants to rise up.

But you’re just a nobody with no power or background. Even if you become a Martial Juren or Martial Jinshi—so what?

To the officials, you’re just muscle and cannon fodder.

They’ll have you do the hard jobs, take the blame, even die for them. The credit will always go to them.

You probably won’t believe me now, but if you ever change your mind, Dao Xuan Sect will welcome you.”

With those words, the envoy slapped the yellow talisman onto his chest—and vanished.

Ergouzi looked around but saw nothing.

“Didn’t you say the talisman turns into a flying sword that can kill ten steps away? Why are you invisible now?”

“I’m behind you.”

The envoy’s voice came from behind.

Ergouzi turned—but saw no one.

“Where are you?”

“Are you still there?”

He waited a long time, but got no response.

He didn’t know if the guy had really left, and walked away warily.

Dao Xuan Sect’s vanishing act made him uneasy—he couldn’t feel safe anymore.

You never know if someone’s watching from nearby.

As for reporting it to the authorities? No way.

There’d be no reward, and he could provoke deadly retaliation.

To avoid trouble, Ergouzi stayed inside the next few days.

Finally, the exam results were posted.

Two yamen officers pasted a big red paper on the wall, and a crowd gathered.

Out of over a hundred candidates, only five passed.

In the crowd, Ergouzi spotted his name—Zhang Ergou—from afar.

The ones who failed left crestfallen, grinding their molars in secret.

The successful candidates beamed, exchanging congratulations.

The yamen officers then led the five of them into the county office, where the County Magistrate gave them words of encouragement.

The newly crowned Xiucai were thrilled, practically wanting to pledge their lives to the Magistrate.

Each was given a big red flower to wear on their chest and escorted home.

When Ergouzi returned to Sanchazi Town, drums and gongs were already sounding at the town entrance.

The township head personally came out with a group of local gentry to welcome him. Spectators stood in layers upon layers.

“Congratulations!”

“Brother Zhang, you’ve made it big while still so young!”

“Brother Zhang has the look of greatness—you’re clearly different from the rest of us!”

…

Whether they knew him or not, everyone crowded up to shake his hand and toss out compliments.

Those who didn’t dare speak just stared from afar with envy.

This scene had played out many times in Sanchazi Town over the centuries.

Last time, Ergouzi had stood in the crowd, envying others.

Now, he stood in the center while others envied him.

As he chatted with the gentry, he learned something surprising:

Everyone turned out to be some kind of distant relative.

With people calling him “Cousin” and “Uncle,” it all felt very close and familiar.

After suffering for over a decade, Ergouzi now discovered he had so many warm-hearted relatives.

Always quiet and awkward, he flushed with emotion, tears welling up in his eyes.

Too bad Big Dog had died too early—he never got to see all these enthusiastic “relatives.”

Ergouzi handed out some strings of copper coins, even giving the town beggars a share.

Coins rained down and drew waves of praise.

“May the Xiucai Master’s fortune be as vast as the sea!”

“May the Xiucai Master have many children and great fortune!”

“May good people live in peace forever!”

Then, surrounded by newly acquainted “relatives,” Ergouzi marched toward Shexi Village amid drums and gongs.

The sound carried far, rousing the entire village.

Men, women, young and old came to see what the commotion was about.

Some were pushed into Shexi Creek by the crowd and ended up soaked.

“Oh wow! It’s Ergou!”

A plump aunt twisted her body out of the crowd.

Ergouzi paused. He didn’t know what trick this aunt was planning now.

But times had changed—he didn’t have to fear her anymore.

If she dared hit or curse him again, he’d slap her back right in front of everyone.

But the aunt approached with a smile, completely different from her usual harshness.

“Auntie always knew you’d amount to something. I raised you for over ten years with great hardship.”

Ergouzi never imagined she’d be so shameless.

Even if she had mocked him, at least that would’ve been honest.

“Your uncle was so happy to hear you passed the exam. He even killed our old hen. Come to our place for dinner tonight.”

“Thanks, Auntie, but I’ve been gone a while. I need to check on Shekou Mountain first.”

Ergouzi politely declined.

After all, these were the people who once wanted him dead. Sitting down to pretend warmth now felt like swallowing flies.

Then he saw Xiao’e behind the aunt, staring at him with big eyes.

She’d grown taller in just a few months, blossoming beautifully—way prettier than her greasy-faced mom.

“Xiao’e, I brought you a little something from town.”

He pulled a red lacquered wooden box from his chest and handed it to her.

After so many years under their roof, Xiao’e was the only one who had treated him like family.

Now that he was successful, he wouldn’t forget her kindness.

“Thank you, Brother Gou!”

Xiao’e accepted the box with a smile that curved her eyes into crescent moons.

Ergouzi chatted a bit longer at the village entrance, handed out more coins, and finally, amid reluctant farewells, walked alone toward Shekou Mountain.