A Mortal’s Immortal Gourd
Chapter 32: The Genius of the Sima Family

Sima Yi carried a large bundle and walked toward Zhengwu Hall.

“Good morning, Young Master Sima!”

The gatekeeper hurried out with enthusiasm and invited him inside.

Zhengwu Hall was the most prestigious martial arts academy in all of Anchan County. Over the years, it had produced many Martial Xiucai, and even a few Martial Juren.

Countless students hoping to pass the Martial Xiucai exam flocked here, dreaming of training at Zhengwu Hall.

But the number of spots was limited. Even if people broke their necks trying to get in, without status or money, it was nearly impossible.

Not to mention, the tuition fees were sky-high—ordinary people simply couldn’t afford it.

Sima Yi’s older cousin, Sima Hong, had passed the Martial Xiucai exam years ago. Now he was an instructor at Zhengwu Hall, serving also as the deputy head, while preparing for the Martial Juren exam.

“Fourth Brother!”

Sima Hong looked about thirty. The two had always been close among the many Sima cousins.

“From the smile on your face, I’m guessing you’ve brought me some good news!”

Sima Hong rubbed his bearded chin and asked warmly.

“Hehe! Last night at the black market, I actually got my hands on a really nice ginseng root—at least twenty years old.”

As he spoke, Sima Yi took down the bundle from his back, revealing a large pack of pills and the ginseng root.

“This ginseng is excellent!”

“I can already feel my Ren and Du Meridians swelling. Once I consume it, I should be able to open my Qi Sea Dantian.”

As he said this, Sima Hong couldn’t help but feel a wave of melancholy.

He had started learning stances at three, boxing at five, swordsmanship at eight, and had mastered eight martial disciplines by twelve.

He passed the Martial Xiucai exam at fourteen, becoming the most talented youth in Anchan County.

At eighteen, he entered the path of cultivation, sensing spiritual energy and reaching Qi Refining Level One.

It then took him another ten long years just to reach Qi Refining Level Two.

The hardship of martial training and cultivation—the resources it consumed, not to mention the suffering—only he truly knew.

Every martial artist dreamed of one day attaining enlightenment and stepping onto the path of immortality.

If he could reach Qi Refining Level Four, he’d qualify for the Martial Juren exam.

If he passed, he’d step into a whole new world—one far beyond this small martial hall—with exponentially more resources.

“Your Ren and Du are full? You’re about to break through to Qi Refining Level Three?”

Sima Yi was surprised—his fourth brother had progressed so quickly.

“Yeah, all thanks to the pills you brought me. They're affordable and really effective.”

Everyone knew that martial arts and cultivation held promise, but few could actually walk that path.

Why? Because most people couldn’t even afford to eat, let alone gather the resources to train.

Even as a direct descendant of the Sima family and deputy head of Zhengwu Hall, Sima Hong didn’t have that much money or access.

Peiyuan Gutben Pills cost ten taels each—he could only afford two a month.

Thankfully, Sima Yi had helped him find a batch of cheap Strength Pills.

They cost just a few hundred taels per sheng. He kept some for himself and resold others at a markup, making back a few hundred taels—effectively offsetting his own costs.

“Fourteenth, can you tell me where you got these pills?”

Sima Hong asked, curiosity piqued. He’d never seen these pills before, and it seemed only his fourteenth brother had access.

“Stop! Put away that greedy heart.”

“I was entrusted with this, and I won’t betray that trust.”

Sima Yi refused righteously.

“Things are good as they are—why kill the goose that lays the golden egg?”

“Come on! I was just curious—you didn’t have to go all upright and serious.”

“Do I look like a bad guy to you?” Sima Hong said, pointing at his bearded face in mock grievance.

“Pretty much. At least with that mug, you’re guaranteed to scare children.”

“A real man doesn’t care about appearances. Strength is all that matters.”

Sima Hong didn’t care about looks in the slightest.

“Little Yi, are you really not going to train in martial arts and take the Martial path?”

“Nope. I want to become a renowned physician and help the world!”

Sima Yi had long vowed to become a great doctor and relieve people of their suffering.

“Medicine can’t save the world. You’re just wasting your talent!”

Sima Hong shook his head in regret.

“The elders favor you because of your potential.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

He still tried to persuade him—he’d been given this task by the family elders.

“Martial arts don’t interest me. I want to be a doctor.”

“Besides, we already have plenty of people in the family who train and serve as officials—they don’t need me.”

Though people always said he was gifted, Sima Yi never felt that way. Training bored him, and he progressed slowly.

As time passed, he lost interest in cultivation entirely.

“Let’s not talk about cultivation today. I need a few recommendation letters for the Martial Xiucai exam—my friend needs them.”

“Here’s his name and household record.”

He handed over Ergouzi’s registration booklet.

“No problem, I’ll take care of it. Just wait here.”

Sima Hong tucked the document into his robe and left with the bundle of pills.

He headed toward the training field, where an instructor was guiding students.

He waved over the man, who ran up enthusiastically.

“Vice Head Sima, is something the matter?”

The instructor wiped sweat from his forehead—it was none other than Zhang Youliang, Ergouzi’s cousin.

After passing the Xiucai exam, Zhang Youliang had pulled strings to become an instructor at Zhengwu Hall—earning money and continuing his studies.

“Zhang Youliang, new batch of Strength Pills is here. How many do you want?”

“I’m a little tight right now—haven’t collected rent yet. Could I buy on credit for a few months?”

Though he acted all high and mighty before Ergouzi, now he was all meek and submissive—like a nervous little wife.

“Sure. I’ll give you a hundred pills on credit—ten taels total.”

Sima Hong was generous, handing over a hundred pills with a wave.

These were the same pills bought from Ergouzi, now resold at double the price.

And the buyer? His own cousin.

“Thanks!”

Zhang Youliang accepted the pills with delight and repeatedly thanked him.

“Hold on—do me a favor and write a recommendation letter.”

“No problem. For who?”

As the vice head’s subordinate, he agreed immediately.

“Oh, I didn’t check.”

Sima Hong glanced at the household record.

“Sanchazi Town… Zhang Ergou…”

“Zhang Ergou?!”

Zhang Youliang nearly jumped at the name.

“Seems like someone from your hometown. Do you know him?”

“Met him a few times. Not very familiar.”

Zhang Youliang didn’t mention their real relationship—he couldn’t very well admit he used to bully the guy.

Now he was sweating—how did Ergouzi end up connected to the Sima family?

Still, when Vice Head Sima gave an order, he had no choice but to write the best letter possible.

He picked up a brush and quickly wrote a glowing recommendation, signed it with his full name, and stamped it.

“Thanks!”

Sima Hong took the letter, dried the ink, and tucked it away.

“Just a small favor. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate.”

Zhang Youliang waved toward Sima Hong’s departing figure, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Sima Yi didn’t wait long—before he could finish a cup of tea, Sima Hong returned with three recommendation letters.

...

The next day, Ergouzi returned to the County School Affairs Office.

This time he was fully prepared, documents in hand.

Sima Yi had planned to accompany him, but just as they were about to leave, a critical patient arrived at Huichun Hall.

Saving lives took priority, so he let Ergouzi go first and promised to meet him later.

“Stop right there!”

It was the same gatekeeper, toothpick in mouth, giving Ergouzi a sideways glare as he moved to block him again.

This kid still didn’t know his place. A mud-footed farmer daring to dream of becoming a Martial Xiucai?

The gatekeeper had stood watch for decades and never dared entertain such thoughts himself!

But this time, Ergouzi had Sima Yi backing him. He didn’t care about the gatekeeper’s interference.

He’d handed out over twenty bribes and still hadn’t managed to “tame” this watchdog—always baring its teeth.

Well, today he wasn’t feeding it anymore!

“I’m here to register. You gonna block me again?”

He threw down the line and walked straight in, not sparing the man another glance.

“Fine!”

The gatekeeper stepped aside angrily. He wanted to see how this bumpkin had somehow gathered three recommendation letters overnight.

If he couldn’t produce them… heh…

The gatekeeper followed behind in silence, offering no help.

The School Affairs Office wasn’t large. Ergouzi already knew the layout—he went straight to the main hall.

Inside, the clerk nicknamed “Crooked Mouth Cheng” was dozing.

He may have just had a nice dream, and now someone disturbed him—he was annoyed.

He glanced at Ergouzi but ignored him, casually walked over to the washstand, and wiped his face with a damp towel.

Then he slowly tidied his hair and beard, even touching up his eyebrows in the mirror.

Clearly, despite his plain looks, he cared a lot about his appearance.

Ergouzi stood there like a log, waiting patiently.

Finally, when the clerk finished freshening up, Ergouzi stepped forward and pulled out the recommendation letters.

“Shoo, shoo!”

The clerk shouted and shoved him aside impatiently.

“Blind bumpkin! Can’t you see I’ve been busy all day and haven’t even had tea yet?”

Ergouzi, lacking Sima Yi’s confidence, quietly backed off.

He watched the clerk brew tea, sip slowly, and go to the latrine five times, wash his hands six times...

This guy clearly refused to do anything without a bribe.

But Ergouzi had made up his mind—no more silver. He’d rather buy meat buns.

He’d wait for Sima Yi instead.

His patient waiting actually unsettled the clerk—pretending to be busy was exhausting.

Thankfully, their wait was soon over.

A young man entered, handsome and confident. His presence alone made the clerk flinch.

“Young Master Sima!”

“Why come in person? Just send someone with instructions!”

The clerk sprang to his feet, fawning so hard he nearly wagged his tail.

It was Sima Yi—and he wasn’t here to be friendly.

That clerk only had this job because he’d clung to the Sima family.

“I heard no bribe, no help? Even with bribes, still no help?”

Crooked Mouth Cheng laughed awkwardly, “It’s not like that. If you need anything, just say the word—I’ll handle it myself.”

“Hmph. Don’t flatter me.”

“Those few taels you pocket are for brothel trips and tipping girls—but do you realize that might be all the wealth a peasant has?”

“If they lose that, they might not survive.”

Cheng took the scolding in stride, hands clasped, smiling apologetically.

“You’re right, Young Master. I’ll change my ways and do things properly from now on.”

He’d been around the block—pretend to repent, then go back to business as usual.

No bribes, no service—break that rule, and even the Sima family couldn’t protect him.

Sima Yi saw he was putting on a good show and decided to let it go for now.

“Then what are you waiting for? Do your job!”

He pointed at Ergouzi, still standing off to the side.

Only then did Cheng realize he’d offended someone backed by the Simas.

Who would’ve thought this scruffy farmer had connections?

He himself had worked so hard to worm into the Sima family—even married their ugliest daughter just to land this job.

With Sima Yi present, handling the registration took only moments.

“Hahaha! Brother Zhang, so talented and promising—I misjudged you!”

Cheng’s attitude flipped completely. He grabbed Ergouzi’s hand like an old friend.

“Come have tea sometime—my door is always open!”

At his signal, the gatekeeper returned a pouch of silver—everything he’d previously taken.

“Brother Zhang, when you pass the exam, don’t forget your old friend here!”

Moments later, Ergouzi and Sima Yi walked out of the School Affairs Office, personally escorted by the clerk and gatekeeper.

“Take care, Young Master!”

“Brother Zhang, drop by anytime for tea and wine!”

They smiled and waved until the two were out of sight before going back inside.

Ergouzi followed behind Sima Yi, now finally realizing just how powerful his family really was.

He had always thought Sima Yi was just some clueless rich kid—wealthy, but not by much.

“Sima Yi… Young Master Sima, thank you.”

Suddenly, Ergouzi felt calling him by name might be disrespectful.

“Just call me Sima Yi. No need for ‘Young Master.’ I’m not used to it.”

“Honestly, I don’t like dealing with yamen folks either. Get too close, and I’ll end up like them.”

“Bootlicking superiors, bullying the weak—that’s who they are.”

“Don’t let Cheng’s sweet talk fool you. He’ll behave for two or three days—then go back to his old ways.”

“If I ever become like them… it’d be like lying in a pile of maggots. Makes me sick just thinking about it.”

Ergouzi didn’t fully understand the corruption talk, but he listened quietly.

Maybe Sima Yi just needed someone to vent to—he kept speaking his mind.

“I run a pharmacy, heal people, no need to deal with that crowd. I earn my own silver, and every coin is clean. Spending it feels right.”