Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!
Chapter 395 - 388: The Underlying Thought Process of the Bullied

Chapter 395: Chapter 388: The Underlying Thought Process of the Bullied

Xu Pengcheng’s narrative revealed a layer of logic.

"Being bullied" and "excessive dieting" are behaviors that serve the same purpose in Xu Pengcheng’s mind.

At present, "being bullied" is acceptable and reasonable in Xu Pengcheng’s cognition.

If we can overturn the rationality of "being bullied" in Xu Pengcheng’s mind, we can solve the problem of "excessive dieting" as well.

This is considered an unexpected discovery, and a wonderful one at that.

In the current reality.

Although Xu Pengcheng’s bullying has now been curbed, considering past cases of campus bullying, the "trauma" caused by bullying will not disappear just because the bullying stops.

Therefore, in Nan Zhubin’s counseling plan, the trauma caused by Xu Pengcheng’s bullying also needs to be intervened.

It’s just that the counseling needs to be prioritized. Nan Zhubin originally planned to solve Xu Pengcheng’s "excessive dieting" problem first, and then address the "trauma from bullying."

But now it seems that they are intertwined, and therefore can be solved together.

There’s no denying this is an opportunity.

...

Nan Zhubin thought for a moment, organizing his words.

He continued to "follow" Xu Pengcheng’s narrative, delving deeper based on Xu Pengcheng’s words.

"You just mentioned that when your teammates ’gave’ you extra training, your body felt uncomfortable, but your mind felt better."

"Can you use precise words to describe how it feels uncomfortable and how it feels better?"

Nan Zhubin provided a "reflective listening."

"Precise words?" Xu Pengcheng made a thoughtful pose, but didn’t seem to have much direction in his thinking.

"Yes," Nan Zhubin nodded, giving examples, "For instance, ’better’ could mean ’relieved,’ ’happy,’ ’relaxed,’ ’comfortable’; ’uncomfortable’ could involve ’sadness,’ ’resentment,’ ’fear,’ and so on."

With this, Xu Pengcheng found direction.

The student’s gaze missed the consultant’s, and the pace of his breathing began to change involuntarily.

First holding his breath for a while, then a deep breath, then rapid inhalation and exhalation.

After a while.

"My body’s discomfort is about feeling ’tired,’ ’pain’ like this." Xu Pengcheng replied, "Mentally feeling better is feeling a bit ’relieved.’ Like the guilt is less."

"Any other feelings?"

Nan Zhubin continued his quick pacing, as this step was crucial.

Sss-inhale-sss-exhale-sss——

In the quiet consultation room, Xu Pengcheng’s breathing sounds were clear and getting louder.

"In my heart, truthfully, there’s still some discomfort..."

Nan Zhubin nodded: "Mhm."

The consultant this time provided no [feedback] or [follow-up], simply nodded to show he was listening.

This allows enough pauses in the conversation, while building a bridge for Xu Pengcheng to continue thinking.

Returning the topic to the visitor.

"If you had to use one word to describe it... it might be ’wronged’."

This nearly six-foot-three man curled up a bit: "I can’t really explain this feeling of discomfort, it’s mostly a mess of thoughts..."

Nan Zhubin followed up: "Perhaps we can sort through those thoughts?"

The thoughts had already surfaced in his mind, so now the visitor needed to exert effort to thoroughly extract and articulate them, bringing them out instead of letting them be swept away again by the turbulence of thoughts.

Upon hearing Nan Zhubin’s words, Xu Pengcheng pressed his lips tightly - so tightly it tugged at the muscles on both sides of his cheeks, forming what seemed like a "smile" expression.

"Actually, I know everyone ’helps’ me with extra training, it looks very much like they’re ’bullying’ me..."

"Sometimes when classmates passed by the field and saw, they would come and ask me a couple of questions, I could hear it from their words."

Nan Zhubin nodded: "Mhm."

Pause.

But this time, Xu Pengcheng didn’t continue.

So Nan Zhubin paused for two seconds and then offered another "reflective listening": "Is what you saw the same as what your classmates saw? Like - bullying?"

Xu Pengcheng pressed his lips, gritted his teeth.

"A bit, yes. I actually know that everyone says it’s helping me with extra training, but some gestures were unnecessary... not deliberately controlled."

Nan Zhubin delivered a "confirmatory resistance": "So you know, they’re bullying you during the extra training, right?"

Whoosh——

Xu Pengcheng exhaled heavily, finally nodding.

"You just said you have a lot of ’thoughts,’ are they thoughts about them ’bullying you’?"

"Yes." Xu Pengcheng clasped his hands together, interlocking his fingers with force.

"Just, although it’s bullying, I think at least... they’re still friends, it’s also a way to get along. Them bullying me is better than ignoring me, leaving me to extra train alone."

Nan Zhubin made a thoughtful expression, lightly pressing his lips and nodding quickly in a low amplitude.

"You feel that being bullied is better than being isolated, being ignored. At least in this state, there’s still a connection between you, you’re still ’friends.’"

"Right." Xu Pengcheng replied.

This response sounds somewhat absurd, even counterintuitive, but it does have a reasonable inner logic.

In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need for "belonging and love" ranks third, and the motivation to pursue this need is stronger than the pursuit of "esteem needs."

Social Identity Theory also has research showing that the human need for "group belonging" is rooted in evolutionary instincts, and being isolated might trigger "survival anxiety." Especially during adolescence, peer recognition is an important source of self-worth.

There’s also the influence of "collectivism cultural pressure" and more.

In some Japanese literary works, there’s even this thing called "friendship fees," which is jokingly turned into a meme - but indeed exists in reality.

Xu Pengcheng, as someone who is bullied, could endure the bullying for so long, and even speak for the bullies.

This kind of thinking is actually normal.

It’s not over yet.

"Moreover, at that time, because I couldn’t pass the fitness test no matter what. The coach often criticized me for being ’unambitious,’ ’having a bad attitude,’ ’not caring about the team,’ ’deliberately dragging down the average score,’ and other things..."

"I could sense that everyone had opinions about me because of this, really starting to dislike me."

"I thought of using this way of being bullied, extra training, and not eating to show my attitude."

"Over time, everyone should understand me..."

Nan Zhubin pressed his lips and nodded.

With a hum, he looked at Xu Pengcheng.

Seeing the student lift his head to meet his gaze, no longer thinking, expecting his reaction.

Confirming that Xu Pengcheng had already expressed his thoughts.

Nan Zhubin exhaled deeply in his heart.