Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!
Chapter 273 - 271: "Sensible" and "Obedient

Chapter 273: Chapter 271: "Sensible" and "Obedient

She’s not "understanding," she’s "obedient."

Upon hearing Nan Zhubin come to this conclusion, Weng Pinting slowly turned her head back and focused all her attention on driving.

Meanwhile, Doctor Chen was taken aback.

"’Obedient’ and ’understanding’ aren’t the same? How so..."

As mentioned before, this isn’t a psychological consultation, and Doctor Chen isn’t a client.

He came to "consult" Nan Zhubin with questions. As Nan Zhubin spoke, Doctor Chen’s mind started to become highly active.

After instinctively raising questions based on common sense, he quickly began to tentatively interpret the meaning behind Nan Zhubin’s words.

His voice gradually became quieter.

Nan Zhubin pursed his lips, giving Doctor Chen some time to think.

After silently counting roughly five breaths, Nan Zhubin shifted the topic as if changing subjects.

"I’ve read the materials before, Doctor Chen, your spouse is also a doctor, correct?"

Doctor Chen nodded, "Yes, I’m in emergency medicine, and my wife is in pediatrics. We met through a hospital-organized event..."

Emergency and pediatrics.

Nan Zhubin took a deep breath.

"What I might say next could be some speculative assumptions based on experience. If there’s anything incorrect, feel free to correct or interrupt me."

Nan Zhubin spoke very politely.

But combining his inadvertent understanding, the current "speculation" can actually be considered a "fact."

It’s just that this way of speaking is relatively tactful.

Nan Zhubin asked, "Are you busy with work usually?"

Doctor Chen nodded, "The past few years have been better, but in the early years, I could almost say I was working 24/7, and even during breaks, I could be called back at any moment; my wife was a bit better but still had almost no time at home."

"The work pressure must be quite high, right?"

Doctor Chen didn’t even want to say it this time, just smiled. But remembering he was still conversing with Nan Zhubin, he replied, "How to put it... intense."

The tone of this answer was almost a sigh.

"Do you have a good way to relieve this pressure? Has it ever... carried over into your home life?"

Nan Zhubin asked.

With Doctor Chen’s understanding ability, by this point, he already fully grasped Nan Zhubin’s implication.

He gave a self-deprecating smile, "For sure. It’s not just us, it’s quite common among all doctors. The various pressures at work either make us not want to talk at home or explode over minor things - and if there’s a major incident, or some tedious meetings or messy reports, the situation gets worse.

Besides the work pressure, we’ve also had frequent arguments because our work hours don’t balance with family life... but that was in the early years; recently, it’s either we’ve gotten used to it, or we’ve been promoted, so the pressure has relatively lessened..."

Nan Zhubin nodded and asked a crucial question.

"When you argue, do you do it in front of Xiaojie?"

...

For the question raised by Nan Zhubin, Doctor Chen instinctively replied, "No, we always..."

But the next moment, he once again denied himself.

"We always... deliberately avoided arguing in front of her. But, it was something we only started noticing later; when she was little, perhaps we weren’t really aware..."

"Even when she got a little older, at most, we just didn’t argue in front of her ’face’."

Doctor Chen’s gaze lowered, "But being in the same house, even if we avoided Xiaojie, to say that she never heard it... would just be deceiving ourselves."

Doctor Chen didn’t engage in defense or denial.

After an instinctual attempt to argue, he quickly delved into a deep level of reflection and provided as objective a truth as possible.

If meeting a client in the counseling room who approached it like this, one wonders how much effort it saves and how pleased Nan Zhubin would be.

But at this moment, Nan Zhubin could only sigh inwardly.

Doctor Chen’s eyes turned somewhat helpless, "Mr. Nan, did Xiaojie develop depression because of the quarrels between her mom and me, leaving a psychological shadow for her?"

Nan Zhubin did not confirm this point.

Instead, he put forward a more challenging question, "Did the arguments involve Xiaojie? For example, regarding her education, which school to attend, which extracurricular classes to enroll in, who should pick her up today..."

"These ’issues that require parents to expend mental energy for their child,’ did they cause arguments and possibly allow Xiaojie to overhear them?"

Doctor Chen was silent for the second time.

This time, the silence was no longer a reflective silence but rather finally appeared as an avoidant silence.

Nan Zhubin observed Doctor Chen’s expression and confirmed that although he was avoiding it at that moment, he was still able to receive external information.

He took a deep breath.

"In the previous conference report, I made an analysis on Xiaojie - Xiaojie has an accommodating social behavior, or a people-pleasing personality."

"Any personal trait formation is a dual influence of ’innate genes’ and ’environmental upbringing’ that ultimately shapes them."

"And in the initial phase of forming an individual’s fundamental character, the most influential factor is the environment they first come into contact with—the family."

"The first object Xiaojie began to please and accommodate was... you."

Nan Zhubin knew the words he was going to say next would be harsh, but he had to say them.

"This is why I would say she is ’obedient,’ not ’understanding.’ These two terms are fundamentally different."

"Even in a sense, ’obedient’ is the antonym of ’understanding.’"

"’Understanding’ indicates she knows reason, understands what her current situation means, knows how to make choices, and the consequences those choices entail."

"But ’obedient’ implies she...," Nan Zhubin slowed his pace, nearly word by word, "knows nothing."

Nan Zhubin’s voice was almost a sigh.

"Or to put it another way, she does ’understand’ something; she knows she needs to make you happy, make you worry less."

"And the scary part is—she only understands that."

...

The air fell silent.

Even the entire car quieted down, ceasing to tremor.

It wasn’t until the red light ahead slowly turned green that the long-silent Weng Pinting slowly stepped on the accelerator, and the vehicle transitioned back from stillness to motion.

The surroundings finally gained a bit of life.

Doctor Chen then seemed to regain his senses and slowly spoke:

"We... always felt lucky, lucky that Xiaojie is so... ’obedient.’ We were busy with work every day, and she was such a relief to us."

"But in fact, this kind of thinking is incorrect, isn’t it, Mr. Nan?"