Seoul Object Story
Chapter 67: Gyeyangsan Relief Camp (7)

It was really quiet.

There I stood, in a cobblestone square smeared with blood, lighting my pipe like it was any other Tuesday. The camp in front of me was steeped in an eerie silence, the kind that makes you question your own heartbeat.

It was perfect silence. Not even a cricket had the guts the chirp.

The only thing breaking the monotony was the occasional whisper of the wind through the alleys and the slow, creeping shadows.

All the residents were dead.

This camp, lively and bursting with excitement just yesterday, had transformed into a graveyard, with the buildings serving as the tombstones. The silence was so thick, that even the sound of my own heartbeat seemed too loud.

The only ones left were the ninja wannabes, who had melted into the darkness like it was their natural habitat. I knew there was one lurking in the corner of this square, watching me.

He was one of the silent assassins who had slaughtered every resident here, yet here I was, wearing a bright yellow suit and my pipe, still, I was completely ignored. His eyes, though, were glued to me.

It seemed their mission was to wipe out the camp’s inhabitants. Yet after turning Gyeyangsan camp into Gyeyangsan cemetery, they kept scuttling around, looking for something.

I had a hunch. What these ninja wannabes were after, was an ‘Unusual event’ in this camp. And that ‘Unusual event’ was the key to solving my client’s case.

Bang-!

A gunshot shattered the camp’s eerie calm. If those ninja wannabes weren’t actually breaking the ‘sacred laws of genre continuity’ and actually packing heat, then it had to be from the revolver I handed to Junior No. 2.

Hmm, the shot came from farther than I’d expected.

As if pre-planned, like me those ninja wannabes took off toward the sound.

Bang-! Bang-!

Even more shots rang out.

Was my junior in deeper trouble than I thought? The revolver had six bullets tops, so she must’ve emptied the chamber.

I followed the shots to a building cluttered with construction materials. Just as I was considering scaling the heap, a shrill whistle sliced through the air.

Fweeeeeet-!

The sound was ear-splitting.

The ninjas, both the hidden ones and those scrambling over the materials, froze and then started moving somewhere. The number of ninjas was quite large—twice as many as I expected.

All of them were headed north.

From my little knowledge, all there was in the north was a sewer entrance that led to a large underground waterway. Could there be something down there?

With that lingering thought, I strolled into the clearing the ninjas had left behind.

One of the ninjas surrounding me reached into his chest pocket.

I watched him, all curious and wide-eyed, wondering what he might pull out. And guess what? It was something totally unexpected—a pudding!

It was a pudding! A high-quality, cutely packaged pudding!! But… why would a ninja carry something like that?

He unwrapped the pudding with such care, it was like he was performing some sacred ritual. I could almost feel his reverence in every movement of his. Then, he lay down on the floor, holding the pudding out to me with both hands.

It was like he was presenting a royal gift to a king.

Khm-! Khm-! Well, who was I to refuse such a royal offering? I had to taste it! It was totally not because I was not curious!

Om nom nom—!

Woahhhh!! It’s yummy!!!

It’s even tastier than the treats at Sehee Research Institute. The packaging was unlike anything I’d seen in Korea, but the taste—it was just heavenly!!

Wait? What are they doing?

As I happily stomped my feet, the ninjas gathered and started stacking their bodies on top of each other and formed a giant human pyramid with a throne as wide as a bed on top.

Huh? Are they telling me to go up here? There are no stairs, though?

Before I could even finish that thought, the ninjas extended out their hands, forming steps to go up the pyramid. They seemed to be telling me to climb up by stepping on their palms.

Ah, who am I to care. Without hesitating, I placed my foot on the outstretched palm of the lowest ninja.

It was surprisingly stable, probably because he held it so firmly.

Hehehehe, it was ticklish though!

Feeling a bit mischievous, I wiggled my toes as I stepped from one palm to the next. Finally, I reached the throne. It looked a bit wobbly, but it was sturdier than I expected.

Time to dive in!

Boing-! Boing-! Boing-!

Even with all my jumping, the ninja-made throne held strong. It was so much fun that I kept bouncing again and again.

On one side of the throne, a ninja graciously presented me with another pudding, while on the other another ninja fanned me with a big fan.

Oooh! It totally feels like a throne!

Lying back comfortably on my throne, I felt like a true king. Hmph-! A huge throne on top of a huge pyramid, and on top of it, there—me!

A comfy throne, delicious pudding, and a sense of omnipotence from the flame in my chest.

Hmm…? Should I bring these ninjas to the Sehee Research Institute? No? But just imagine how fun it would be if I made them build pyramids like this for me whenever I got bored!

As I daydreamed about all the fun we’d have, a loud whistle suddenly rang out.

Fweeeet—!

All of a sudden, the ninjas forming the pyramid throne rose up. They politely offered me one last pudding, then bowed and left one by one.

Wha? What just happened?

I watched them disappear, as I munched on pudding after pudding. But the pile of puddings they had left behind seemed neverending.

When will I finish eating all this?

A guy, all dressed in black like a ninja and reeking of blood, was standing at the entrance to the container house, holding a knife dripping with blood. The crimson viscous liquid trickling from the blade made his intentions pretty clear.

I tightened my grip on my hammer and assessed the situation.

Grr-!

The ninja made a weird gurgling sound and pointed somewhere with his finger.

He was pointing at the client.

“Hyejin! Protect the client!!”

The ninja’s target appeared to be our client. Well, she might be a bit odd, but a client’s a client. No way was I letting that chuuni ninja cosplayer have her!

Before long, the tension reached the limit, and the ninja seemed to come to the conclusion that he had no other choice but to fight.

He seemed to be closely observing my every move, his eyes glued to me, or rather the giant hammer I was wielding.

He shifted his weight, ready to attack at any moment.

My heart was pounding like crazy. I felt like it was going to explode. No no, it wasn’t because of fear, but from the sheer excitement!

The brief silence was shattered with the sharp hiss of wind being torn apart.

The ninja moved with superhuman speed, transcending human limits, his blade slashing right in front of my nose.

I blocked it with the hammer’s head, keeping a calm expression. But his slashes kept coming, each one fiercer than the last. It wasn’t something that could be stopped by one or two blocks.

The slashes, which came from all kinds of postures, made it clear that the ninja was a master, someone at the peak.

But no matter how much he tried…

I swung my hammer, aiming for the rushing ninja. Like a cannonball fired from a loaded cannon, my swing shattered his blade, crushing his right hand, and turning his head into a mess of gory bits.

His headless, handless corpse was flung back, hitting the floor with a clunk. The trickling blood slowly soaked the floor of the container.

Huff-! Huff-!

The adrenaline rush left me out of breath. But there was no time to rest!

Another ninja was already breaking through the wall made of construction materials.

I tightened my grip on the hammer again and faced the rushing ninja.

This second ninja seemed to learn from his buddy’s mistake, moving cautiously as he stared with eyes akin to a serene lake, waiting for an opportunity.

His feet made a rhythmic shuffle on the floor—

Step-! Step-Step-! Step-!

It was almost hypnotic.

The ninja seemed to be waiting for the perfect opportunity, and then, bam! He lunged at me, knife swinging. I could tell from his move that he was going all in, no holds barred, totally ready to die if it meant taking me down.

But seriously? Against my hammer? Not happening!

I swung my hammer with everything I had, aiming to shatter his knife. But just as I swung, I felt a chill run down my spine. Another ninja jumped out from behind him.

Not one, but two? Really? This is cheating!!

No way was I blocking that second knife, My stance was all wrong, it was impossible to parry it.

Dammit! Is this how I die?

The thought barely crossed my mind before—

Bang-!

The revolver that Senior had given to Hyejin exploded into a burst, and the second ninja, taking a bullet to the head, crumpled to the ground.

“Hahaa… Sigh. Thanks, Hyejin.”

We’d taken out two more, but the fight was far from over. More ninjas kept on coming, two, three, four of them.

Hyejin only had two rounds left.

Luckily, the container entrance was narrow, so we didn’t have to worry about being surrounded, but…

Can I even win this?

There were five ninjas in front of me. There could be more, but I had to focus on the immediate threat.

The air inside the container was thick with tension, and when it reached the boiling point, the ninjas rushed in at once.

I tried to swing my hammer, but they weren’t giving me any chances. There were always at least two swords coming at me from weird angles at every single moment. All I could do was block or dodge, and kept getting pushed further into a corner.

The distance between Hyejin and me slowly shrank.

No! At this distance, the ninjas could target the client directly…

This is bad! Really bad! What do I do now?!

Bang—! Bang—!

Two more gunshots rang out, but they were wide off the mark. The ninjas had baited Hyejin into wasting her last shots.

It’s over!

Just as I thought that, a loud whistle echoed through the area.

Fweeeeeet-!

As soon as the whistle sounded, the ninjas backed off, blending into the shadows.

When the long whistle died down, they were gone without a trace…