Rise of the Devourer
Book 4: Chapter 12 — Complicated Feelings

The party went on with music, talking, and political games, but Aurelia needed some fresh air and peace and quiet. The night went well. They got their titles, met people, and handled the social situations without too many problems. But something felt wrong. She was restless, and she couldn’t really tell why.

She left the main ballroom and went to one of the palace balconies. The cool night air brushed past her, and she let out a sigh, grateful for some peace and quiet. The lights of Drakonias twinkled in the blackness below her. The vista was wonderful, and she found herself remembering Nyxis. It’d looked similar at night, like a starry sky painted across the land.

The sound of footsteps on the stone floor of the balcony broke her out of her thoughts. She turned around, thinking it would be Noah or someone else checking on her absence, but paused when she saw who it was instead.

Vion stood next to her at the balcony railing and remarked, "I hope you don't mind the company. You looked a bit under the weather, so I thought I’d check up on you. Are you doing alright?"

"Oh- yeah, I’m alright. Just not used to events like this. Bit too stuffy and formal for me," Aurelia said.

“Tell me about it,” Vion agreed, walking up next to Aurelia as she leaned on the balcony.

Vion was quiet for a minute, looking down at the city lights. They remained there in silence, as if both of them were waiting for something.

"I like Noah," Vion said.

Aurelia glanced at her, and then paused. “Well… I would assume so after all we’ve been through?” she said.

Vion opened her mouth, then paused for a second. “No, I mean romantically. Like, I like him as a man.”

Even though part of Aurelia had expected this talk, the words hit her hard. She felt her chest tighten as a jumble of feelings that she couldn't sort through.

"Oh," she said, blanking for a moment. "When did you find out?"

“Recently. Quite recently. And— aah! I still don’t know to be honest! All of this is very new for me,” Vion said, sighing as if a big burden was put off her shoulders.

You’re okay with it?” Vion asked, glancing at her in surprise. “Don’t you like him too? Honestly I would’ve thought you two were together if I hadn’t spent the last few months with you. From the outside you look like a couple.”

“Me and Noah? Oh please, he’s like… he’s like a little brother. I can’t help but look after him. But… Noah huh? I… guess I have a hard time picturing it. What made you end up liking him?”

"Well… I… he’s hot?”

Aurelia blinked, then, to her own surprise she burst out laughing.

“Alright, fine, that’s true. He is rather good looking. I thought that even when I first met him. But then he opens his mouth…”

This time it was Vion’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, he’s hot when he keeps his mouth shut, agreed. But I like his weirdness too. He feels familiar in a way that… I don’t really feel around most people.”

Aurelia felt a pang in her chest at that. “Well, if his looks are the only thing, Erwest looks quite good too, no?”

Vion made a face that if Erwest had seen, even he would feel offended. “I’m sorry, but no. Statues are beautiful too, but you can’t date one. I think Valeria is insane for trying.”

“I think what’s more insane is that it seems to be kind of working too,” Aurelia replied. “Enough about Erwest though. What else do you like about Noah? Surely not just his looks?”

Vion hummed to herself in thought. “I… it’s hard to say to be honest. I don’t understand a lot of it myself. I like talking to him, I like how… he can push me? I like how strong he is, but more than anything I like how much he cares. Because I know he is the kind of person who’d go to any length to fight for the people he cares about,” Vion said, and then paused.

“Honestly… I was a lot more nervous about you. I… did not expect to have this talk with you honestly. I thought you’d hate me. I was… honestly still am, so certain that you like him. Are you really sure this is alright with you?”

Aurelia had a hard time coming up with the correct answer. She was thinking about how to respond in a way that would be supportive and understanding and would make any embarrassment go away. But behind that layer, something else was moving, something that seemed like agony or protest.

She heard herself say, "I… yeah? Honestly, I think he's an idiot. He doesn't pay enough attention to the important things. But he is honest and sincere in ways that are hard to find. But you’re a…” she paused to look around herself. “That will cause some issues.”

"Aurelia, just so I am clear. Are you saying that you don't mind if I walk out there and tell Noah how I feel right now? Or if I went and kissed him?”

Aurelia was surprised by the question. She opened her mouth to say the same old things again, but then she stopped. The pause went for longer than she would have liked, and she could tell that Vion understood.

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"I think it might be hard for you because you have to hide the princess—"

"Ignoring that," Vion said firmly. "I can deal with those problems. Would that be a problem for you?”

"Why would I?" Aurelia questioned, but the question sounded weak even to her.

Vion hummed to herself, then she let out a sigh. “You’re a liar, huh?”

The word was uttered as a fact, without any wrath or reproach and Aurelia found it hard to speak.

Vion kept going, her voice getting stronger and more sure. “If I were different, I might be happy with you standing aside without a fight. What does it matter to me. It shouldn’t matter to me. Honestly I’ve been flipping between anger half the time because these feelings are so goddamn annoying. Gah. And now this too. Like, it should be a good thing for me that you’re just letting me walk in and grab him, but that concerns me for some reason. You care about him, so why won't you fight for him? I didn’t take you for a coward.”

“Who says I—” Aurelia began, but Vion cut her off.

“Oh please. All of us see it, and I've only known you all for a little while.”

They couldn't ignore or deny the reality that hovered between them. Aurelia felt her shields breaking down, leaving her open and weak in ways she'd been trying to avoid for years.

"I don't want a handout," Vion replied firmly, her eyes glowing for a brief second. Aurelia felt a stark reminder that… though she looked like this, she was talking to a dragon. “I'll fight you for him. I want to win against everyone, not only you, but also Noah. In the upcoming tournament. After that, and only after that… I'll tell him how I feel.” Vion said, before turning around.

“If you want to keep him at all… then I want you to face me with your best," Vion said and walked away.

Aurelia stood alone on the balcony with her feelings. She clenched her fist, till her knuckles were white as the reinforced magical railing began to steal under the heat rising from her hands. The talk forced her to deal with sentiments she had been avoiding, ones that made her relationship with Noah and her place in their group more challenging.

“I can’t just…” she said to nobody in particular. I can’t just do it like you, Vion. Because I still fear that one day, he will disappear, just like the rest of them.

She cared about Noah more than she wanted to admit. It was not the same to care about someone as it was to fight for them. She had been independent and self-sufficient for most of her life, not wanting to rely on others or risk being disappointed. The thought of fighting for someone's love felt strange. And terrifying.

“I guess I really am a coward,” Aurelia muttered to the silent breeze.

But Vion was right about one thing: it didn't feel right to step aside. Like giving up without even trying, or saying she wasn't worth fighting for before anyone else had a chance to decide.

She groaned and turned to stare at the lights of the city below, before shaking her head. If there was one thing she’d not given up on… it was her abilities. If fighting was what was needed… then she’d give Vion a fight.

She spent her entire life proving herself against obstacles that people thought were unattainable. She wasn't going to give up now.

***

Noah was having the second best day of his life. A tray filled with food in his hand, as he moved around the buffet section of the dance ballroom, ‘sampling’ every snack there was. It wasn’t the most dignified of behaviours, but by now half the guests had returned and the other half were too drunk to care, and it’s not like he got to have a royal banquet every day.

Right as he was about to pick a particularly delicious looking item, he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Noah!" Seraphina yelled. "I've been looking for you!”

"Seph, how much have you had to drink?" Noah asked, concerned from the look on her face.

"Not enough," she said with a laugh that was different from how she usually was. "Maybe too much, though. It's hard to say. When everything glitters, it's kinda hard to tell.”

“Jeez, come here, you’re wasted. Where’s Kaelan?” he asked, as Seraphina protested about being grabbed by a strange man, the people nearby glanced but mostly ignored the two as Noah led her back to her friends, who quickly made her cast a spell to remove some of the intoxication.

As the night came to an end, the ground found each other again and got ready to walk back to their rooms. Noah looked for Aurelia and finally noticed her approaching from one of the balconies. She had a strange expression on her face. "Is everything okay?" he questioned when she came back to the group.

"Everything's fine," she said with a smile, but it looked strained. "I just needed some fresh air."

Noah didn’t prod, sensing that she didn’t want to talk about it.

The voyage back to Kaelan's estate in the carriage was quieter than previously. The night changed to thinking about and looking forward to what was to come. Noah looked at his friends and thought about how the tournament would impact the way they all got along.

"What will you do once you've found all the pieces?" Aurelia asked, breaking the silence.

The question caught Noah off guard. Keep looking throughout the planet. “There are a lot of things to see and do here. What about you?”

Aurelia looked out the window of the carriage at the passing scenery and remarked, "I don't know. I figured I'd keep going from place to place by myself, doing tasks here and there, until something caught up with me, and did me in.”

"What about now?" Noah asked.

“I don't know now. Everything seems different. More complicated.”

Noah hummed in thought. "Well, you have time to think about it."

"I guess so,” Aurelia said, before turning towards Noah. “Have you ever thought about going back home? You know, after you’ve explored this world enough and did everything you want to and have become an all powerful Ascendant.”

“Hey, we don’t know if I’ll make it yet,” Noah said.

Aurelia raised an eyebrow. “You have an ancient dragon willing to train you, and even before that you’ve had monstrous growth. If you don’t make it, nobody can.”

“Fair enough,” Noah said. “Well, I… don’t know. It’s too far away still, and for now I just want to see more of this world.”

“That’s fair,” Aurelia replied, glancing out the window. They were almost at their destination. She mouthed something but Noah couldn’t tell what.

The carriage pulled up to the mansion and halted. Aurelia stepped outside and looked back at Noah. It was hard to tell what she was thinking in the low light.

"Good night, Noah," she said.

Noah could tell something was off about her, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was. But he didn't press her; if she wanted to talk about what was bothering her, she would do it when she was ready.

"Night, Aurelia," he said back.

Noah watched her walk into the estate and thought about what would happen in the next two days. The competition was coming up, and he knew there would be problems he couldn't see coming. His skills were growing better, and the countdown clocks were becoming shorter every hour.

Noah thought that the two days before the event would go by quickly.

The tests were just starting.