Reborn as a Mind-Reading Empress
Chapter 33: Atone for Your Sins

Chapter 33: Atone for Your Sins

"His Majesty originally thought of bringing you here to live with him for a long, long time. Dragons could live as long as they please if they had the motivation. And we thought His Majesty finally found his when he married you. But your heart was never his so he decided to let go. He didn’t want to force you to live with him here when you long for someone else."

Alwin explained that Ferdinand was supposed to share his life force with Arabella so she could live much longer than a human could.

As long as Ferdinand continues to supply her with his life force, her body would age slowly and she wouldn’t die as long as Ferdinand is alive.

It was how dragons lived with their human mates or other races which had a shorter lifespan.

But since Arabella was in love with Andrew and still longed for him, Ferdinand didn’t want to make her live a long life with someone she doesn’t like since it would only make her suffer.

’I loved him. I fell in love with him too,’ Arabella wanted to correct but couldn’t.

"I can tell what you want to say just by looking at your face. Stop lying. How could you say you love him when you keep saying another man’s name in your sleep?! Even after mating with milord, you dream of your lover once you close your eyes!" Alwin was emotional once again.

’What?! When did I ever do that?!’ Arabella held her head trying to recall.

It was so long ago but she did have dreams about Andrew when she had just gotten married to Ferdinand.

But that was all it was. It had no deeper meaning. Did she call out Andrew’s name during those times and caused a misunderstanding?

Was it what caused Ferdinand to distance himself from her after she got pregnant?

"And when you got over your lover, you love and cheat with his friend instead? Just what was so lacking with milord that you could love other men but not him?" Alwin frowned as he seemed to think about it deeply.

’I didn’t love Icarus. I only used him so selfishly.’

Who would have thought they believed she was truly in love with Icarus?

She wouldn’t have killed herself if she did.

Icarus was just a tool to her even though she knew he was a kind and good man.

She sighed deeply as it dawned on her once again, she ruined the lives of so many people when she was taking revenge on the wrong person.

Arabella held her head trying to think but her mind was barely functioning after the weight of everything she just learned.

Still, who would have thought Ferdinand and Alwin didn’t know she loved Ferdinand too?

She thought they knew that she did. But after a long time of ignoring her, she thought Ferdinand didn’t care about her anyway, so he didn’t go and see her.

How was he able to stay away and distance himself if he longed for her?

But then again, when did she ever tell him directly that she loved him?

Ah, she never did. Ferdinand never voiced his feelings so she never did as well. She didn’t tell him how she felt because he never told her his.

But she thought she sought his attention so much that it was more than enough for him to know she longed for him.

How come Ferdinand thought she loved Andrew much longer than she did?

Andrew was a fickle first love when she was young. She liked him for his looks, cheerfulness, and flowery words. And so, she easily got over him when someone better came into her life.

Ferdinand replaced him and she loved Ferdinand much much longer than she ever did Andrew.

"Do you know why I am telling you all this? Because I am going to do everything I can to revive you. I might lose my life in the process so I have to tell you now. I am not reviving you so you could play around with other men. I am going to revive you so you can atone for your sins. Pay attention to milord for once. He still loves you very much even after dying at your hands. You might think it’s idiocy. But that’s simply how dragons are. Once they find their mate, it’s impossible to let go," Alwin said with a pained expression.

’You don’t have to revive me. You should just stay by his side instead,’ Arabella wanted to say.

If reviving her took so much risk, Alwin who was very much loyal to Ferdinand should just keep staying beside him instead of her.

Maybe, someday, Ferdinand will find someone better than her. Someone who would truly make him happy. And Alwin should be by his side to witness it.

She never even thought reviving a dead person was possible. If it posed so much risk, they shouldn’t do it.

Does a person like her who had caused Ferdinand’s death even deserve to be by his side again?

Arabella shook her head to let Alwin know what she thought.

"A dragon has only one mate. Once they find their mate, they don’t fall in love again. It is in very rare circumstances that a dragon would be able to love again when their mate dies. Because a dragon mates for life. If their mate dies, they follow them even in death," Alwin explained.

Arabella recalled Raymond thinking something about this when they were having a conversation. It was also in the myth books.

’So it was true?’

Wouldn’t that be too sad? They had such a long life but they only fall in love once?

What if they fall in love with the wrong person? They suck it up and suffer?

’!!!’

Is that why Ferdinand tolerated everything she did?

Because he cannot fall in love with someone else after he loved her?

Arabella felt bad even more. Knowing these things made her feel even more guilty and regretful for everything she had done.