My Crush Also Has a Crush on Me!
Chapter 160: His Heartache, Slowly Healing

Chapter 160: Chapter 160: His Heartache, Slowly Healing

Fu Ying stared at him, her eyes reddening as she did: "You lied to me."

Her voice was soft and raspy, with a slight sobbing tone.

She moved closer to the man, wrapping her arms around his waist, and smelled the strong scent of smoke on him.

He did smoke, but the smoke scent on his body had never been this intense before; Fu Ying rubbed her face against him.

With the girl’s small hands wrapped around him, warmth filled his heart as he lowered his head to look at her.

"Is this really okay?"

Fu Ying paused, not understanding.

"My dad and my younger brother." He glanced at the tombstone as he introduced them to her.

Fu Ying silently let go of him; there were two bunches of flowers in front of the tombstone, moist and delicately tempting.

And her hands were empty; in her haste to get to the cemetery, she hadn’t even brought a single flower.

"I came too hastily."

"Next time, I will tidy myself up a bit, and you dress up beautifully before coming to see my father and brother again."

Fu Ying obediently nodded.

"The rain is getting heavier, let’s go back."

His voice sounded low and hoarse as he grasped her hand and walked towards the cemetery exit.

The whole cemetery was tranquil, even the sound of light rain was audible.

He said "sorry."

Fu Ying shook her head: "It’s okay."

Back at the apartment, he smelled the faint fragrance on Fu Ying, and then sniffed himself.

Lately, he had been sloppy, the smell of alcohol and smoke on him mixing together unpleasantly.

Yet just now, the little girl didn’t mind; she hugged him, not minding the scent on him either.

"Sit on the sofa for a while; I’m going to take a shower."

Fu Ying nodded and obediently sat on the sofa waiting for him.

The sound of water came from the bathroom; Shen Liguang stared at the disheveled reflection in the mirror, frowned, and began to shave and clean up.

It wasn’t long before Fu Ying waited, and he came out of the bathroom.

Dressed in dark-colored pajamas, with his beard shaved and his hair grown long, covering his eyes which he found slightly bother-some; he combed it all back, revealing his forehead, and he looked cleaner and more refreshed.

Those deep eyes, Fu Ying liked the mole at the corner of his eye the most, which made him look much softer.

Actually, Shen Liguang’s first impression on her was coldness mixed with a bit of rogue.

As Lin Lishan, who often reads novels would say, he has a restrained demeanor.

But he wasn’t entirely so.

She had seen many sides of him; he can be a cool big brother with a rogue flair, a serious and earnest firefighter, and a jealous, somewhat rogue-like boyfriend.

That night, he was emotionally down like a child, hugging her for warmth.

It was another side of him.

Very vulnerable, very child-like.

That girl, small and delicate, burrowed into his embrace, her soft little body pressing tightly against him.

Shen Liguang looked down at her.

"Quite proactive, huh?"

Fu Ying blushed, sniffed the soap scent on him, and said quietly: "No."

"Then what are you doing?"

"Just felt that brother smells good, just taking a sniff."

After the shower, there was no smell of smoke, just a faint soap scent.

"Were you disgusted with me just now?"

Fu Ying shook her head: "Not at all."

"Really?"

"Really." Fu Ying sat in his arms, her small hands gripping him tightly, "I will never disdain you, brother, never."

Forever again.

The word forever is too beautiful to believe.

But the forever she promised him, he believed completely.

Shen Liguang played with her small hands and rested his chin in her neck.

"Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot, and suddenly deciding to leave the firefighting team is indeed hard to let go."

Fu Ying blinked her tea-colored eyes, her eyelashes quivering gently: "If you can’t let go, just keep doing it."

"Hm?"

Fu Ying sighed, "When I secretly loved you, I thought you had a girlfriend, I felt like my heart was about to break. I was melodramatic in my diary, then silently decided to give up on you."

"Back then, I was fickle and contradictory. Though I said I’d given up, deep down I still liked you, and couldn’t bear to really give up, so I continued secretly loving you, brother, until I grew up, and then..."

Fu Ying clasped his big hand tightly with hers, raised it, and looked up at Shen Liguang, her eyes bright: "And then, we got together. Like your role as a firefighter, if you can’t bear to leave, just keep doing it. Those people who encounter dangers and desperately want to survive are waiting for you to save them. Everyone fails sometimes, but having been a firefighter for so long, you must have become very strong inside."

Shen Liguang buried his head in her neck, his voice very soft: "I am not strong at all inside. If originally I hadn’t been stubborn and tried to outperform, blocking my father, I wouldn’t have delayed those crucial more than ten seconds. In a critical moment, ten seconds can mean the life of a person."

"If I hadn’t delayed, had simply obeyed, my father and brother wouldn’t have died. When I woke up in the hospital and saw my mom crying in the corridor, I felt like I was a sinner, that I had caused their deaths."

Fu Ying fell silent.

She didn’t know how to comfort him.

Actually, this was his own inner torment, something others could not soothe, only heal.

Fu Ying had once read a similar article online, about a female student who was repeatedly forcedly kissed, harassed, and touched by a teacher, and her complaints to the school were ignored. Eventually, she went to court, but there was no evidence, and her case was not accepted, leading to her committing suicide due to depression.

The one who tried to save her was a nineteen-year-old firefighter, around her age.

Similarly, the girl broke free from that firefighter’s grasp and then jumped off the building.

That firefighter sat at the roadside crying for a long time, unable to forgive himself, blaming himself, thinking if only he had held her tightly, pulled her up quickly enough, she might not have died.

Those brief ten or so seconds, a person’s death, require a lifetime to heal.

Shen Liguang was the same, Fu Ying felt that he wasn’t a cowardly person, nor one of weak mental fortitude.

It was simply that the confrontation with that father and son had touched the deepest, most sensitive part of his heart, so sensitive that even when she asked him about it, he wouldn’t elaborate on it. Then meeting that girl who jumped off the building provided the catalyst for not wanting to continue as a firefighter.

Fu Ying stayed quiet, allowing him to bury his face in her neck.

"Yingying."

"Hm."

"Stay with me tonight."

Fu Ying nodded: "Okay."

At night, the moonlight shone in, scattering white moonlight all over the floor.

Fu Ying climbed into bed with the man after her bath, he was with his eyes closed, feverish and burning up.

Fu Ying frowned and reached out to touch his forehead, which was alarmingly hot.

Fu Ying struggled out of his embrace: "Brother, do you have a fever?"

"It’s nothing."

She thought of going out to buy medicine, but his hand firmly grasped her waist, unyieldingly.

Fu Ying soothed him: "Brother, I’m going out to buy some fever medicine."

"Don’t go."

He pulled forcefully, dragging her close into his feverish embrace.

Fu Ying felt uncomfortable with his body heat, starting to sweat.

She raised her hand, touched his lips, leaning in for a gentle kiss, patiently coaxing him: "Brother, let go. I’ll go get you medicine and return quickly, it won’t take long."

He slowly opened his eyes, his gaze delving deep into hers under the moonlight.