My autobiography is definitely not a tragedy!
Chapter 52 - 51: You Don’t Understand

Chapter 52: Chapter 51: You Don’t Understand

Meng Lang patted his pounding heart.

"With the way things are going," he murmured to himself, "am I supposed to be shoulder to shoulder with God now?"

Although it sounded mysterious, when he thought about it carefully, to the people in the world of the book, wasn’t he some sort of God in a sense?

With a single thought from me, the world would also move.

Isn’t the "me" in the book the "proxy" for myself in the "human world"?

Meng Lang began to carefully search his mind for knowledge about religion and myth, suddenly realizing that other world mythologies seemed to have some ring of truth to them as well.

For example, in Hinduism, there is the myth of Brahma’s dream.

It posits that the universe is but a dream of Brahma, and we are living in his dream. Should he turn over and wake up, we would fall from the dream like leaves, plummeting into utter nothingness.

Buddhism also has the notion that "Trouble is enlightenment, and reincarnation is Nirvana".

It believes that all beings are mired in a sea of suffering with endless troubles and pains, thus initiating the cycle of endless rebirths; within the Three Realms and among the five elements, beings are not free, trapped by the cycle of reincarnation.

But if one could eliminate delusion and attain enlightenment to become Buddha, then there would be no more troubles and the cycle of life and death, essentially liberating oneself from the bonds of reincarnation.

And this state of becoming Buddha is referred to in Buddhism as the Path of Enlightenment, also known as Nirvana.

If one were to follow this religious thought, Meng Lang would undoubtedly be that "dreamer".

Also, he would be beyond the Three Realms, outside the five elements, not subject to reincarnation...the so-called... "Buddha"!

Meng Lang quickly halted these world-breaking fanciful thoughts.

"My name is Meng Lang, a member of the proletariat, an atheist, with a monthly income of 3000, savings of millions, still single to this day, without a car or a house..."

He muttered a string of self-identity recognitions.

It wasn’t for any other reason, just afraid of getting too carried away.

How else to explain that the end of physics is mathematics, the end of mathematics is philosophy, and the end of philosophy is theology?

Hai Zi lay down on the train tracks, Gu Cheng went mad, Lao She leaped into the lake, Maupassant slit his throat, Civig took poison, Aristotle jumped into the sea...

History tells us that the end of philosophy might also be the locomotive...

To me, this world is the real one, even if the world in the book regards me as a deity, it is not as appealing as a bowl of "Pork Rib Lotus Soup" right in front of me.

Smelling the wafts of fragrance from the kitchen, Meng Lang’s heart became tranquil once more.

Yet his thoughts were still unable to extricate themselves from this issue.

[So... am I truly the only witness?]

The sentence from the book seemed to echo in his mind again.

If these religious myths were more than mere coincidence, then did it imply—

I am not the "only witness" of this book?

"All things mystical and inexplicable eventually get tinged with religious and mythological colors..." Meng Lang couldn’t help but think.

"Forget it, even if I really learned the ’actual history’ of this world, what then? Am I going to play God and start a religion?

What era are we in? If I were to start anything, it should be a science religion..."

At the very least, I should first cure my own senile dementia...

An interesting question arose.

Question: What to do if God gets Alzheimer’s?

Answer: Naturally, it’s time for the believers to urgently advance medical science!

However, curing Alzheimer’s seems far-fetched; it would be better to first think about how to save my second brother.

"Click!"

Just then, the sound of a key turning in a lock came from outside the door.

The door opened, and Meng Lang saw Lin Haitang...and Yan Weiwei looking back at him as it did.

There was a brief silence at the scene.

The three of them locked gazes, their eyes darting back and forth over each other.

Lin Haitang’s expression turned a bit strange when she saw Meng Lang, as though she had something to say but hesitated.

Yan Weiwei, dressed in black and wrapped in a scarf as if to bundle her entire self, looked at Meng Lang with a smug expression, revealing a somewhat irritating enigmatic smile.

"Sister, you’re back? Huh? Sister Yan is here too?"

Lin Xiaoyu poked her little head out from the kitchen, oblivious to the subtle tension in the room.

"Hmmph! Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you?" Yan Weiwei looked at Meng Lang with triumphant glee.

Meng Lang’s lips curved up in a meaningful smirk.

He leaned back on the couch, crossed one leg over the other, and placed his hands on his knees as he gave Yan Weiwei a look of "kingly disdain".

"Didn’t see what? That you’d show up uninvited to freeload food and drink again?

Or didn’t see... that the person stalking us the whole way was actually you?"

"What?" "Huh?" "What?"

Suddenly, everyone in the room, two adults and one child, was shocked.

"You...you...you..." Yan Weiwei suddenly widened her eyes and pointed at Meng Lang, speechless.

"Sister Yan, you were stalking us just now?" Xiao Yu looked confused.

Lin Haitang was also full of astonishment.

He... he actually noticed?

Anti-reconnaissance skills... are they for real?!

"So, do the two of you have anything to explain?" Meng Lang asked with casual detachment as he looked at Lin Haitang and the other person.

Show off all you like!

Brother, I’ve avenged you! No need to thank me. Family doesn’t need to stand on ceremony with one another!

Upon hearing Meng Lang’s nonchalant questioning, both Lin Haitang and Yan Weiwei couldn’t help but look a bit unnatural.

Time rewinds to one hour ago...

Pear Blossom: [Haitang, Xiao Yu’s school is going to let out soon, right? The little girl must have been quite scared. I’ll pick her up from school for the next few days.]

Haitang: [Hmm... Thank you, Weiwei, but there’s no need, I will go myself.]

Pear Blossom: [With your 007 overtime work schedule, will you even have time to pick up your kid? Also, I can’t just slack off as the captain of Xiao Yu’s Guard Team.]

Haitang: [No need, I can manage.]

Pear Blossom: [You’re still the same as before, stubborn as a mule. What use would it be for you to go? If something really happened, could you recite Criminal Law loudly and scare off the bad guys?]

Haitang: [...]

Pear Blossom: [Alright, that’s settled. I’m heading out now!]

Haitang: [Actually, Meng Lang just sent a message too, saying he’ll go pick her up...]

Pear Blossom: [What? He dares to compete with me for Xiao Yu? An ordinary team member! Tell him I’m going!]

Haitang: [Hmm... I think what he said makes sense. He seems more suitable. Maybe we should...]

Pear Blossom: [You... you... Did he feed you some love potion? I know Seventy-Two Road Spring Leg; I can take down petty thieves with just one kick. What does he have?]

Haitang: [He says he has anti-reconnaissance skills.]

Pear Blossom: [...]

Pear Blossom: [You believe such an outrageous reason?! Have you lost your mind?

A Martial Arts expert like me doesn’t have that stuff, how could an ordinary person with no power whatsoever have any ’anti-reconnaissance skills’?!]

Haitang: [I don’t really believe it either, but it was indeed Yuan Li who he found. This matter is a bit hard to explain...]

Pear Blossom: [Fuck!]

Pear Blossom: [And to think you’re considered a top student, I’m almost laughed to death by you! Fine! He says he has anti-reconnaissance skills, right? I’ll track him and see if he can detect me!]

Haitang: [Weiwei, don’t be rash, he’s genuinely trying to help me.]

Pear Blossom: [What good intentions? A man who already has a girlfriend offering unrequested help, I bet he’s just lusting after your body!]

Pear Blossom: [ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ]

Haitang: [...]

Pear Blossom: [Hmph! Aren’t you curious how he actually found Yuan Li? Whether he really has those anti-reconnaissance skills?]

Haitang: [That...]

Pear Blossom: [Rest assured, leave everything to me. With this heroine stepping in, I’ll definitely expose his lame lies. I’ll have him cough up his IP, IQ, and ATM PIN!]

Haitang: [What if you get caught?]

Pear Blossom: [What? Get caught? Me, a Martial Arts expert, caught by an ordinary person? If I get caught, I’ll bark like a dog on the spot!]

Haitang: [And change your nickname for me.]

Pear Blossom: [You... Fine! If I lose, I’ll grant you that wish!]

Haitang: [Get lost!]

Haitang: [￣ε(#￣]

...

Yan Weiwei’s face stiffened.

She glanced at Meng Lang, then at Lin Haitang, and then...

"Woof!"

"Uh..."

Meng Lang was at a loss for words.

I asked you to explain, so why are you barking?

Your sarcasm is rather roundabout, isn’t it?

Lin Haitang was barely holding back her laughter as she watched Meng Lang and Xiao Yu’s bewildered expressions.

"Weiwei and I made a bet to see if you really have the ability to detect her, and if she lost..."

So that’s what it was...

Although the two women did not say it outright, it seemed pretty obvious by now.

This was to test whether he truly had anti-reconnaissance abilities.

Hmph! Sorry, I may not have that stuff, but in the Martial Arts world, what do we rely on?

Nothing else, just lots of brothers!

"Ahem! It smells so good, Xiao Yu, is it time for dinner? Grab an extra set of utensils, haha." Yan Weiwei awkwardly changed the subject, clearly embarrassed.

"By the way...thanks for your effort today." Lin Haitang expressed her gratitude.

"Effort?"

Recalling the scene at the school gate, Meng Lang smiled like a proud father.

"Not at all, the joy of picking up a child, you wouldn’t understand..."

Lin Haitang: "???"