My autobiography is definitely not a tragedy!
Chapter 32 - 31: This tale is enough for you to boast about for a lifetime

Chapter 32: Chapter 31: This tale is enough for you to boast about for a lifetime

The next day, Saturday morning at 11 o’clock.

"Bang bang bang!" The door to apartment 303 was knocked.

"Ha~ Who is it, so early..." Meng Lang yawned and sleepily opened the door.

"Morning... Morning!" Lin Haitang greeted somewhat awkwardly.

Unlike usual, today Lin Haitang wasn’t wearing her large-framed glasses that concealed her face and was dressed in casual homewear.

Off-white jeans and a black collared sweater transformed her from a sharp-suited corporate lawyer into a gentle and approachable girl-next-door.

The simple clothes on Lin Haitang’s tall figure somehow gave Meng Lang the feeling of watching a fashion model on the runway.

Remembering the other side of her he had seen on stage last night, Meng Lang was somewhat stunned.

Is this woman a chameleon or what?

"Ahem!" Lin Haitang coughed, and Meng Lang snapped back to reality.

"Morning... Morning! What’s up?"

"About yesterday... Thank you for saving Xiao Yu, she and I would like to invite you over for a meal as a token of our gratitude.

Since it’s the weekend today, I wonder if you’d be free."

"Of course, I’m free! I just woke up and realized it’s almost noon, and I was just wondering where to get some food, so I won’t stand on ceremony!"

Having been up until two or three in the morning the day before, tired and hungry, the thought of Xiao Yu’s cooking was enough to make Meng Lang’s stomach do flips in anticipation.

"Good, then come over and sit for a while, the meal will be ready soon."

"Alright, I’ll go wash my face and change clothes, then come right over."

After Meng Lang quickly freshened up and entered apartment 302, to his amazement, he saw Yan Weiwei sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, cracking sunflower seeds.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean ’what am I doing here?’ I am the team captain, after all. What’s with that ’what are you doing here?’"

"What captain?"

"Of course, I’m the ’Xiao Yu’s Guard Team’ captain!"

"Uh... I’ll let the name slide, but why are you the captain?"

"Didn’t you start the group? Aren’t you the admin?"

"..."

"Uncle, you’re here!" Xiao Yu, wearing an apron, popped her head out from the kitchen with a smile so sweet it nearly melted Meng Lang’s heart.

Alright, a team member it is then.

"You guys watch TV for a while; the meal will be ready shortly."

"Do you need any help?"

"No need!"

With that, Xiao Yu dived back into the kitchen, accompanied by the clattering sounds of cooking utensils.

"I mean... You two are adults, after all. Xiao Yu is toiling away cooking, and you’re just sitting here cracking seeds and watching TV. Is that really okay?

She’s sponging off her parents, and you’re sponging off someone even younger?"

Meng Lang looked at the two women leisurely seated on the sofa, feeling quite indignant on behalf of Xiao Yu.

"Children should learn to be independent too."

"Do you think I would?"

After Yan Weiwei spoke, she gestured with her mouth towards the kitchen, "If you think you can, go ahead."

Meng Lang dutifully sat down and grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds.

After cracking a couple of seeds, Meng Lang spoke up. "What will happen to that guy Yuan Li?"

"Framing someone, attempting breaking and entering with intent to commit murder, and the fact that he has a criminal record, the total sentence will be at least over 20 years," Lawyer Lin said with a murderous look in her eyes.

"Hey! My old man has quite the network in Su City. If you need anything, Haitang, just let me know in advance."

"Okay!"

The three of them reached a silent consensus, which was to ensure that Yuan Li spent the rest of his life in prison...

Meng Lang looked at the two women, puzzled, as they seemed quite familiar with each other.

"Have you two known each other for a while?"

"We were high school classmates. Later, Weiwei transferred schools, and it’s only in the past couple of years that she came to develop her career in Su City. It just so happened my previous lease was up, so I moved here."

"I see, no wonder the landlord is so concerned about Xiao Yu."

"You dare bring that up? Such a dangerous guy, and you call him a clothes thief?"

Yan Weiwei was a bit resentful as she mentioned it, her performance last night was rather embarrassing for a National Martial Arts expert.

"He was indeed a clothes thief. He was literally caught red-handed."

"That was your clothing; I thought that..."

"If I didn’t put it that way, saying that I had a piece of clothing stolen, would you have come? "

"Why should I care if some guy loses a piece of clothing?"

"That settles it, then. I’ve seen through your double standards long ago."

"But if you had made it clear, and if I had taken it seriously, he wouldn’t have had the chance to pull a gun last night!"

"You think I’m some kind of clairvoyant? It’s already not bad that I could tell he was up to no good; how could I possibly know exactly what kind of weapons he would use?"

"Seeing how scared you were, I thought you knew everything, even wearing a bulletproof vest..."

"That was a coincidence! A coincidence! Didn’t you hear what the officer said? There was only a 10% chance, I was almost a goner!"

"You tackled him with a 10% chance?"

"I called you over; if you had died, wouldn’t that make me an indirect murderer?"

"Is that the only reason?"

"What else are you expecting?"

"Nothing... Nothing!"

Lin Haitang glanced at the bickering pair with a hint of mischief in her gaze, then turned her head back to watch the TV.

The atmosphere among the three was subtly intricate, and no more words were exchanged as they quietly watched TV.

The show on TV was the newly released "Desert Brave Swordsmanship," whose main plot line... well, it’s about the daily assassination attempts faced by a protagonist with the surname Xu.

The first few episodes involved a triple assassination attempt on the male lead, with one attack following another, so there were plenty of fight scenes.

"Hey hey! Isn’t that a bit too much slow-motion? Even Tai Chi Boxing wouldn’t dare to be choreographed like that!"

"Whoa! That slide tackle! And what on earth is this Andromeda-infused cosmic chain lock? Can the five-cent special effects in our country really ignite a small universe?"

"So not only is there slow motion, but you also have a slideshow-style fade in and fade out? That’s totally breaking the immersion!"

"What kind of filter is this? Green fields? Haitang, are the color contrast settings on your TV wrong?"

Yan Weiwei’s criticisms kept coming.

As a result, Lin Haitang chimed in, "Hmm! To be able to shoot like this is quite impressive."

Meng Lang actually thought this TV series was pretty good.

Hmm... mainly because most of the actresses were pretty attractive.

While another fight scene played, he took the opportunity to look around the room.

A two-bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom, around sixty or seventy square meters in size—much bigger than Meng Lang’s place, spotlessly clean, bright and tidy with a faint orchid scent that made staying there very comfortable.

The doors of the two bedrooms were closed, and there weren’t many decorations in the living room, the most numerous of which were books.

An entire bookshelf filled with various legal books, despite their quantity, was exceptionally neat, and the materials and notebooks on the table were also arranged perfectly in order.

But... what’s with those cups that are all lined up at the exact same angle?

Meng Lang looked more closely at the other items around him and finally understood what felt so strange.

The room was tidy, but maybe a bit too tidy.

All the items in multiples were almost carved from the same mold, placed in identical positions.

If one had to describe it, it was like they prepared for a military parade—no matter which angle you looked from, they formed a straight line...

emm... It was clear to see that this Lin Haitang must be a very disciplined person.

Meng Lang silently criticized in his mind, his gaze quietly retreating.

Meanwhile, Yan Weiwei finally had enough of the toxic show and decisively switched the channel.

[The new policy on renewable energy is entering an intensive implementation phase, the National Energy Administration’s website recently announced the "Renewable Energy Power Quota and Assessment Methods," detailing the total quotas for renewable energy power for each province from 2018 to 2020 and the methods for assessment and supervision...]

Switch the channel.

[I’m Peppa Pig, this is my little brother George...]

Switch the channel.

[Comrades, the War of Resistance against Japan is now in its seventh year, only the last year left, everyone, do not give up...]

Switch the channel.

[Thank you, Brother Xie, I’ve never said the word ’thanks’ in my life...]

Switch the channel.

[Under the supervision of this notary and the staff present, the Welfare Lottery Super Lotto issue number 20180326, the lottery drawing mechanism operated normally, and the drawing process complied with the established procedural rules, the numbers drawn this time are...]

Switch...

Yan Weiwei kept switching channels, but Meng Lang, who noticed the channel that just flashed by, suddenly remembered something and fished out a wrinkled slip of paper from his pants pocket.

The events of the previous night had been quite stimulating, so much so that Meng Lang had forgotten all about it after getting back.

"What’s that?" asked a curious Lin Haitang looking over.

"Oh, before I came back last night, I also stopped by the sports lottery center and bought a lottery ticket on a whim."

What? Before you came back yesterday, you actually bought a lottery ticket?

Lin Haitang couldn’t help but turn her head away.

Meng Lang, puzzled, looked at Lin Haitang. Why is your shoulder shaking?

"You bought a lottery ticket?" Yan Weiwei perked up, no longer interested in the TV.

"With your rotten luck, you definitely should buy a lottery ticket. Come on, let’s see if you won anything."

"Hey! Wait a minute!"

Meng Lang hadn’t agreed yet when, in a blur, Yan Weiwei snatched the ticket out of his hand.

Yan Weiwei switched back to the lottery draw channel and began to check the numbers one by one.

"03... 11... 14... 27..."

Four balls were already drawn on TV, and the more Yan Weiwei checked, the stranger the expression on her face became.

Lin Haitang also leaned over out of curiosity to see the numbers on the ticket and then at the TV, her eyes gradually widening...

"32! The fifth one is 32, we got it! We got another one!" Yan Weiwei exclaimed.

Alas! Well, okay then.

Winning without an audience is like walking in brocade at night.

It’s also time for the world to witness the birth of a billionaire!

Meng Lang leaned back on the sofa and let out a resigned sigh.

From today on, perhaps money will just be a number to me, right?

Life is truly as lonely as snow...

Poverty, oh! Sayonara...

However, after waiting a long time, there were no shouts or screams from the two ladies, which made Meng Lang somewhat puzzled as he looked at them.

He saw both of them staring blankly at the ticket for a long while before, the next moment...

"Pfft!" "Hahaha..."

Watching the two beauties suddenly collapse into each other’s arms, laughing so hard they were bent forward and backward, questions marks appeared over Meng Lang’s head.

This reaction, why is it a bit different from what I imagined?

He quickly grabbed the ticket and began to compare it against the seven numbers shown on the TV.

"How... how can this be..."

Meng Lang looked at the numbers on the ticket with a dumbfounded expression.

The first five were indeed correct, but the last two were completely mismatched!

This can’t happen!

Could it be that "I" remembered the numbers wrong?

This is unscientific!

The two ladies laughed for a good while, and seeing Meng Lang’s confused face, thinking he was struck with disappointment, they quickly stopped laughing.

"Well, don’t be sad. At least you brushed shoulders with a multimillion jackpot. That story alone could last you a lifetime."

"Mmm! Although you didn’t hit the jackpot, it’s still a third prize. You won ten thousand yuan! From someone who’s only ever won five yuan, I’m envious."

Meng Lang looked at the two women, speechless.

When you’re trying to console me, could you please not have faces that are barely holding back laughter.

I don’t feel comforted at all...