Lonely Attack on the Different World (WN)
Chapter 365

Day 86 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn

It seems that the more diligently tentacles work all night, the harsher the morning lectures tend to get. I just thought that the Lotion Washtub Pool might feel a little lonely without Nyoronyoro-sans around, so I let them out, but they are angry? Huffing and puffing? I thought Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san were getting along with tentacles just nicely, always playing together and looking like besties, so I let him out thinking that they’ll be thrilled, and they were… but they are still angry?. Friendship among girls is complicated. No idea if tentacles actually have a gender though?

The bubbly foam-jacuzzi vibe from playing with Tentacle-san in the cave was great and all, but the slick, slippery sensation of twisting together in the lotion washtub pool was overflowing with its own kind of appeal. So what was the problem? They seemed to be into into, but now it’s a problem? I mean, they were very into it?

「It’s because you two keep doing weird stuff during swimsuit fitting that the Highschool Boy gets in such a troublesome state. And while things are so hectic the gentle-hearted tentacles reached out and lent me a whole bunch of helping appendages. Thanks to that assist, I was finally able to claw my way back from the Highschool Boy danger zone, and thus began a very busy, high-traffic adult-level Highschool Boy social studies experience. It was this heartfelt, wholesome series of moments, Volumes I through IX, all released at once! It was the inevitable result of an unstoppable, natural phenomenon, so I didn’t do anything bad? Rather, I felt quite good? Kind of?」

GAAAAAH! Th-They learned this from the girls, didn’t they!? Owwwww, seriously, that hurts! I’m being bitten! On the head! From both sides! I’ve gotten used to sharp pain inside my head thanks to 『Wisdom-san』, but this external pain, the being-bitten-on-the-skull kind, is something very new to which I’m not used to and don’t want to be. Did they pick this up from the Bitches? Or maybe from the raccoon?

My head hurts, can this be called a headache? Or is it more like nerve pain in the scalp? I mean, my scalp it being bitten to the point of even the nerves crying out in pain, but how it would be classified from a pathological standpoint? I have a strong feeling there’s still no academic paper titled 『On the Case of Having One’s Head Bitten by a Dungeon Emperor』?

「Good morning. Try to come back early today, okay? Everyone’s waiting for their swimsuits, and they’re all too restless to focus. Only four got done yesterday, and the complaints haven’t stopped since. It’s been chaos.」

「Morning~ And, okay, yeah, but aren’t the four girls from yesterday the real culprits behind me not being able to get past only four swimsuits? I mean, especially the ones who stayed in the tub forever, arching her back and twitching in wet bikinis, spasming and white-eyed like they are having the times of their lives, to the point of almost drowning? ! That’s why it took so long! I totally didn’t do anything wrong? It was kinda hot, though?」

The swimsuits are multicolor-capable now, and I’ve been working on pattern transfers to support printed designs too. On top of that, the test fittings in the washtub need visual verification for transparency issues, so I’m using white swimsuits for testing. The white bikinis plus dripping water plus twitching backbends led to some pretty dramatic near-drowning rescues so it took a while, but I was ready to offer a detailed technical explanation to clear my name, until Pres-sama appeared with a morning-star in hand and a radiant『good morning』 smile. Her eyes, however, weren’t smiling, or rather, were frankly scary, so I decided to keep quiet. Although, 『Magic Hands』-san’s smooth and meticulous adjustments and deliberate and gradual corrections to keep bikini shorts from slipping, along with the thorough and smooth refinements continuously, over an extended period were greatly appreciated, but her eyes are super scary!

「It wasn’t hot, okay?! I wasn’t enjoying it! Just why that full-scale magical fondling session in the tub went on until I almost drowned?!」

Pres requires extremely precise adjustments because of her wide pubic arch angle and deeper inguinal area, which makes it especially hard to prevent slippage. But every time we get down to the micro-adjustments, something in her just breaks? Put plainly, the more pronounced the midline shape, the easier it is for the suit to shift. That’s why we had to refit so many times, but with her flailing the whole way, it made things extra difficult. Even the Highschool Boy ended up in a very difficult situation, but the moment I try to remember it… those eyes! That definitely is not a smile!

I got scolded.

Is this just my fate today? Since coming to this world, it’s like I’ve been stuck in a never-ending divine punishment arc of bad luck with women. A kind of cosmic misalignment where every star, every planet, is just wrong. How long is this supposed to last? Or rather, if the horoscope says that the stars are out of alignment shouldn’t it at least tell me which star to destroy or it’s kind of useless? I wonder which one it is? Can Dimensional Slash reach it?

「「「Let’s dig in! (Jiggle-jiggle~!)」」」

For breakfast we have a hearty vegetable and mushroom tempura rice bowl. The morning debate isn’t 『bread or rice』 anymore, it’s which kind of donburi to have. And while rice is still expensive, everyone pooled their savings into the meal fund, so they’re all broke, but judging by how happy they are while eating, there are no regrets. Even the Orphans have started to master chopsticks. That’s Slime-san’s teaching for you. Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san, though, are still struggling, dropping food everywhere. The poster girl and Stalker Girl are also having a hard time. Royal Girl and Merimeri-san, who’ve been visiting and having sleepovers lately, are practicing too, but when it comes to donburi, they still rely on spoons. Turns out DEX stat doesn’t help much with eating?

Today we’re starting from the 81st floor of a new Dungeon, but this time, but today, there is a fight I won’t back down from.

Yesterday’s test run with the 『Aegis Shoulder Guard – ViT PoW 50% UP, Auto-Protect, Physical/Magic Protection(EX), Reflection, Absorption, Shield Slash, Shield Bash, +DEF』went better than expected. It was actually fun, and I liked it. So this night, I upgraded it with mithril. and now it’s『Aegis Shoulder Link Guards – ViT PoW 50% UP, Automatic Defense, Physical/Magic Defense (EX), Full Reflection, Absorption, Shield Slash, Shield Bash, Magic Attack, +ATT, +DEF』 , there is six shields in total, three per side. In other words, six funnel units. And with 『Magic Attack』they can cast magic too! HYAHAAA!

(CHU-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!) 「ULALALALALALa~? Good monsters are dead monsters, or rather magic stones? And since magic stones are good stuff, I’m killing as many as I can? To be frank it’s just overhunting? Indiscriminate shooting in process?」

The six shoulder guards zigzag in irregular patterns through the air, weaving a surrounding crossfire web in three dimensions, overwhelming and incinerating the enemy, 『Living Cloth Lv 81』. Six-directional Fire Bullet barrage from remote-controlled, wired, mobile strike turrets.

Despite its warm, domestic-sounding name, Living Cloth, it’s a malicious animated fabric-type enemy. It closes in, wraps you up, binds, and strangles you, a homey kind of horror monster. Slash it, and it becomes strings. Bludgeon it, and it just shrugs it off. It’s an anti-physical, flying cloth monster. But cloth can be burned. And when it has 『Complete Resistance to Ice, Wind, Water, and Earth』, it’s practically begging to be set on fire. Water or wind magic would just wash it, turning the whole fight in some sort of a macabre imitation of household chores!

It dances midair as it closes in, trying to smother and strangle you, made to kill front-liners. But it’s also a perfect enemy to play around with funnels. The feel of an aerial dogfight is just too good!

My Shoulder Guards are now zooming through the air, spewing Fire Bullets, slicing as they pass, darting, spiraling, attacking like they’ve completely forgotten they were ever designed to protect my shoulders.

「Aah~ this is fun, but also an incredible waste of MP? And sure, it’d be faster to just shoot a Fire Bullet myself, but if I let that bother me it’s my loss. Just going with the vibe, it feels like a six ship group dogfight in a 3D flight shooter? In a way, it makes for a very unsatisfying gameplay!」

A 3D shooter with six independently moving high-speed units would be completely unplayable for normal humans. My brain’s juggling seven mixed-up perspectives including my own, and it’s this bizarre sensation, but once I start seeing through 『Rajingan』 and controlling it with Wisdom, it’s actually kind of fun. Even the Shoulder Guards, now coated with 『Teleportation』 and 『Gravity』have crazy mobility, at this point, it’s an unwinnable game for the other side. Creating a perfect, inescapable bullet curtain, they are darting around and teleporting in to slash, pure slaughter, leaving not a shred of room for a counterplay.

(Jiggle-Jiggle)

Slime-san bounced around happily, while Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san watched the aerial combat with fascinated looks. Sure, I got caught up in the fun and forgot, but this strategy completely abandoned both the fantasy and otherworldly vibes, it’s full-on sci-fi battle now. But really, when I think about it, there’s no reason we have to force ourselves into a sword-and-magic setting just because we’re in another world. I mean, my sword is still just a wooden stick.

I was given the 81st floor, but apparently torching everything rubbed someone the wrong way, so starting from the 82nd, it’s back to the usual free-for-all dungeon crawling. That said, charging ahead into the lower floors without thinking can be dangerous if there are enemies with special effects. So, we decide the formation order by rock-paper-scissors, and each person’s assigned area is off-limits to others.

For the 82nd floor, I’m in the vanguard, with Pres in armor to the right, Slime-san to the left, and Dancing Girl-san the rear. A tank in the back row is probably pretty rare, but she uses her chains to attack, smash, bind, swing, and throw 『Brutal Rat Lv 82』from outside their attack range. Unexpectedly, being in the rear might be the best position after all!

The name gives those critters a somewhat violent vibe, but their size is somewhere between a Tosa dog and a bear? Maybe a bear cub? It is a rodent, so getting bitten probably hurts, but I’m used to being bitten! Not that I want to be, but I feel like I get bitten a lot… Even this morning, I got chomped by Dungeon Emperors, so some rodents aren’t even worth worrying about!

Despite calling it a formation, the other three are so overwhelmingly strong that even if I move on my own, they can adapt. Being the vanguard gives me the freedom to act. I slash through the rat in front, dash right, and sweep through a cluster of three in one wide arc. Slime-san comes up to cover my left flank, slicing through the rats as she circles around. Then Dancing Girl-san shifts from the back to the far left, pushing forward to trap the rats from the wing. And from the right, Armored Pres-san crashes in vertically from the side, tearing into the enemy. You could call it a flexible, adaptive team formation, or, if you’re being cynical, a chaotic scramble to steal monster kills whenever someone sees an opening. To be blunt, it’s just a free-for-all in party formation?

Still, this style of fighting leaves no openings, it’s efficient, and it’s incredibly safe. It’s a feat made possible because everyone has watched and learned from Pres and the way they fight, and memorized Pres’s commands. After all, this is modern combat knowledge, a culmination of tactics honed through unending cycles of kill-or-be-killed.

However, their individual combat ability is actually higher. Calling it a 『safety-first』 approach sounds nice, but all it’s really doing is organically coordinating individual takedowns by splitting up enemies, with a fair bit of wasted excessive force. If the goal were simply to wipe everything out, charging right into the center of the enemies would be faster. That works as long as we can win, but if we run into evenly matched opponents with coordinated teamwork, then without tactics, we lose. So in that sense, this isn’t pointless… But, if multiple opponents capable of evenly matching Dungeon Emperor-class fighters came at us in a coordinated assault, we’d run. You’re not supposed to fight that kind of enemy, you know?

But there were three of them. There’s no guarantee there aren’t more. Even a single Dungeon Emperor-class is a threat. Formation, teamwork, strategies, if those can let us win efficiently, safely, and reliably, then practicing isn’t pointless. There’s no need to go out of our way to take risks? Winning with ease is a tactic. Winning without fighting is a strategy. Winning after a long night of effort, that’s war! That’s the holy war of the Highschool Boy!

「This is, the last one. Shall we head down?」

「Formation Rock-paper-scissors I want to take front!」

And it seems they really enjoy fighting together. Being unmatched can stand next to you, in a way, it has to be pretty lonely. For someone like that to have three equals, to fight in coordination with others, that might be a first for them. Maybe that’s why they look like they’re having so much fun. A total disaster for the poor monsters, though.

「We’ll drive them in from the right, echelon formation. All right, here I come, Go funnels, is that I keep saying but well, they’re actually Shoulder Guards, going all-out in attack, but really, they’re defensive Aegises? Still, let me say it anyway, I’ve got you now…! You are going down! Kiiiiiiiiiind ooof!!」

On the 88th floor, they wanted to try a full-on encirclement battle, so we gathered the enemies into an open area and are now executing a surround-and-destroy operation? It’s just the four of us going up against over 300 『Arms Golems Lv 88』 which feels seriously wrong, but it somehow works because we outmatch them in both pressure and sheer number of attacks? But is this even really encirclement ? Still, the heavily armed monsters in the lower floors drop loads of weapons and armor, so they’re nice to the wallet, truly good monsters in that sense.

(Jiggle-Jiggle!)

The armed golems herded into the center were unable to even engage in melee and got locked up inside our formation. The ones on the outer edge are pushed back by four-way attacks, forced into an over-packed, densely packed crowd, as they are getting exterminated. A perfect imitation of Pres-san’s tactics. But hey, this kind of thing’s supposed to be done by a large group, you know? Not just four people?

There was even a hidden room, and inside the treasure chest was a steel fan. I didn’t really get what it was and was staring at it when Dancing Girl-san’s eyes lit up as she stared at it, so I asked, 「Want it?」 and she hugged me. Didn’t feel all that great with the armor on, but Avarice-san didn’t seem to want it anyway, so I gave it to Dancing Girl-san. She seemed really happy with it. If it looks useful, maybe I’ll upgrade it with mithril for her tonight.

And then, with a joyful sparkle in her eyes, she danced through the 89th floor, wiping it clean with a flourish of her dual steel fans. Now armed with close-range steel fans in addition to her mid-to-long-range chains, she twirled, turning, rolling, spinning through the air, and as she danced in circles, the monsters dropped one after another to the ground in pieces.『Blade Bats Lv 89』 just couldn’t keep up as her dance partners… Yeah, I get how they feel. I nearly got killed at the ballroom myself, the centrifugal force alone is enough to crush your bones.

I also wanted to have an aerial battle with the Blade Bats, using the funnels, but getting too caught up admiring Dancing Girl-san’s performance, I missed the opportunity. I was already in a cool funnel-user pose, waiting for the moment, but there wasn’t a single enemy left… I even had lines ready, like 『Got you now, there!』or 『This one’s mineee!』 but… there weren’t any left…Alright, time to pull myself together. The boss battle of the 90th floor is up next. Now, what line should I go with?