I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality
Chapter 269 - 150: Coffin Refinement

Chapter 269: Chapter 150: Coffin Refinement

When the land is idle, it grows wild grass; when people are idle, they grow troubles.

When ghosts are idle, they easily start extra activities.

For instance, a porter is walking well with his load, and suddenly he trips and hits his head, bleeding profusely.

Others might think it was the porter’s carelessness that caused the fall, but a sharp-eyed child nearby says a ghost was lying on the ground and deliberately reached out to grab the person’s leg, tripping him.

Ghosts pulling legs and dragging feet are precisely the kind of mischief-making ghosts.

Xu Qing looked at the seamstress talking to flowers and plants and felt the ghost should not stay idle; she needed something to do.

Coincidentally, Shopkeeper Yao from the funeral attire shop was determined to leave, possibly within these two months; if someone buys the shop, it might happen in the next few days.

If Underground Street lacks a funeral attire shop, it would be like the West without Jerusalem.

For Xu Qing, completing all shop-related business on one street would become much less convenient.

At that time, he would have to travel back and forth, seeking another funeral attire shop.

If he couldn’t find one, he might have to go to a second-hand clothing shop or a tailor shop to customize one.

Relying on others is no match for relying on oneself.

Given that, why not create his own funeral business?

After all, it’s just funeral clothes; if other stores can’t find a tailor, his home is equipped with one, crucially driven by full-automatic ghost energy—it’s healthy and eco-friendly, and even looking across the entire Dayong textile industry, it leads by a mile.

The seamstress didn’t know Xu Qing’s plans yet; upon hearing the idea of making funeral clothes, she was delighted.

She might not be good at other things, but she excels at making clothes!

The seamstress’s grandparents were tailors, her father was also a tailor—in truth, they could be counted as a family of tailors.

"What style of funeral clothes do you want to make?"

The seamstress reached out, and the measuring tape in the sewing basket fell into her hands.

"..."

There were times when Xu Qing really wanted to open this female ghost’s skull to see what exactly was inside her small head.

Who ever heard of a twenty-something young man making funeral clothes? Never heard of such a thing!

Seeing the seamstress’s eyes full of anticipation, Xu Qing was silent for a while.

Wasn’t she just hoping he’d die and become a ghost to come down and accompany her?

But then Xu Qing thought again, he wasn’t really a living person anyway.

So, having the seamstress customize him a funeral outfit seemed to be consistent with cultural etiquette.

Hm, why not make one?

Xu Qing was tempted.

In his eyes, funeral attire was similar to pajamas; if he tailored a set of pajamas now, wouldn’t it be perfect to change into when lying in a coffin to rest or retreat?

Xu Qing’s expression shifted unpredictably, making the seamstress uneasy, fearing she had done something wrong or said something inappropriate.

Fortunately, the next moment she heard Xu Qing say, "Then tailor one for me, let me see your craftsmanship."

The seamstress clutched the measuring tape in both hands, and upon hearing Xu Qing’s response, her eyebrows relaxed, and her joy was all over her face.

Innately talented ghosts must have a purpose; the seamstress, having an opportunity to showcase her skills today, felt genuinely delighted.

On the windowsill, a few shadowy winds brushed past the otherworldly flowers, while the piercing daylight shone in the sewing room, with dust swaying in the air.

Xu Qing stood at the boundary between the daylight outside and the shadow inside, while the seamstress’s nimble hands moved along the measuring tape, measuring his shoulder width, sleeve length, as well as his trouser length and waist circumference.

There was fabric readily available in the sewing room, and Xu Qing deliberately pointed out some taboo matters since funeral clothes are different from ordinary garments, requiring particular considerations during tailoring and customization.

Red and white occasions are major life events.

Funeral clothes, funeral shoes, funeral cap and socks, funeral pillow and quilt—these intricacies can’t be explained briefly, so Xu Qing only picked the important parts to tell the seamstress.

"Funeral clothes must be woven with cotton and silk threads, not satin..."

"Why not satin, satin is so nice, and we’re not short of money."

Xu Qing looked at the seamstress expressionlessly, and she shrank her neck, obediently not interrupting anymore.

"Because cotton and silk imply lasting affection and symbolizes the living’s remembrance of the departed; as for felt and satin..." Xu Qing recalled details from the Funeral and Mourning Scripture, saying, "These two materials have bad connotations—using felt to cover oneself might lead to reincarnating as an animal in the next life, and satin is feared to cause being childless."

"These things aren’t much; folks just seek auspiciousness—besides, funerals could be considered celebratory events as well..."

From skills to philosophy, Xu Qing’s understanding of funerals and mourning matters has surpassed the ordinary.

The seamstress, watching Xu Qing listing these details like treasures, knew the gentleman genuinely enjoyed sending people off at funerals.

Funeral clothing mostly uses dark colors—men wear apricot yellow, black, and other shades, while women’s outer garments usually come in cyan, blue, or bronzed colors.

Moreover, funeral clothes should never be insufficiently covering because only beggars with no option beg in such attire.

So the sleeves and trouser legs must be long, long enough to completely cover the deceased’s hands and feet, only this way is a funeral outfit qualified.

Also, living people wearing funeral clothes to walk around creates an eerie and terrifying sense of déjà vu, which relates to both the purpose of funeral attire and its specific design key.

The deceased wear multiple layers of funeral clothes—not just one—for the sake of having extra clothing to change into upon reaching the underworld.

These funeral clothes will be put on the deceased before burial, and the number is usually odd, meaning the difference between the upper and bottom garment layers is two, like seven tops and five bottoms, or nine tops and seven bottoms, at most eleven tops and nine bottoms, that is, wearing eleven tops and nine pants.

Women can use skirts instead of pants.

If someone dies prematurely before reaching over fifty years old, they typically can only wear three pieces of funeral attire—the older the deceased, the more they can wear, symbolizing fortune and longevity.