I Only Care About Making Money And Not Love. I'm The Best Professional Simp!
Ch. 16 - If You Suck, Practice More! Tsundere is a Nerfed Build!

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"Xing-xing, I was wrong."

"It's fine. I deserved it."

Lu Xing, with a smile that screamed 'I want to die', was kicked out of the classroom along with Li Dachun.

Damn it.

My butt didn't even have time to warm the seat, and I'm out here standing again!

Lu Xing had only one question in his mind right now: "Do you really like those novels where they dig out hearts and kidneys and then have a big happy ending?"

Li Dachun scratched his head and said embarrassedly.

"I saw the girls in class reading these books, so I borrowed them to take a look."

The boredom of school was comparable to the boredom of being on the toilet without a phone.

You could read an instruction manual for half a day, let alone a novel like that.

Li Dachun apologized again. "I'm sorry, Bro Xing. Can I treat you to dinner tomorrow?"

Lu Xing chuckled and waved his hand.

"No need. Tolerating my son is something I, as his old father, should do."

Li Dachun let out a silly laugh.

"Bro Xing, you're so nice. You're really different from before."

Building relationships between kids is a very simple thing.

Maybe it's liking the same anime, maybe loving the same movie, or maybe it's having seen the same AV actress. 

(TL: I don't know about the third one...)

Lu Xing didn't care about it at all.

This was Chinese class.

And after being baptized by Chi Yueshan, his essay-writing ability had improved by leaps and bounds!

He could nail the argumentative essays for the college entrance exam every time, earning the deep affection of his teachers.

He might as well skip this Chinese class!

"Hehe, I really am the chosen one," the little person in Lu Xing's heart danced.

Making money and improving my Chinese composition skills at the same time.

How could there be such a good thing!

Da da da.

A sound of footsteps came from the stairs. Li Dachun remembered Lu Xing's skill from before and asked.

"Xing-xing, can you tell who's coming?"

Lu Xing shook his head.

"I can only recognize Wei Qingyu's footsteps."

Hiss—

Li Dachun looked at Lu Xing with a gaze full of sympathy.

Seeing is truly believing.

He really is a good simp!

Hmph, I must torture Campus Belle Wei a bit more, make her realize what's in her heart! 

(TL: Don't take love advice from novels, guys.)

Unconsciously.

The scales in Li Dachun's heart had already tilted towards Lu Xing.

"Yo, on guard duty?"

A flamboyant voice came from the corridor. Lu Xing knew who it was without even looking up.

"Xia Yeshuang, you're late."

From the moment Xia Yeshuang and Wei Qingyu entered City No. 1 High School, the debate over who was the true campus belle had never stopped.

Some people liked Xia Yeshuang's feisty, "little chili pepper" vibe.

Some people liked Wei Qingyu's cold, taciturn, "flower on a high mountain" type.

This lively campus belle competition was settled a month after school started, with the title successfully landing on Wei Qingyu.

The reason was—

Someone, relying on his status as an upperclassman, tried to get handsy with Xia Yeshuang, and then had his arm snapped by her.

Yes.

A teenage girl, with her bare hands, snapped an arm.

These three completely unrelated terms were bizarrely connected.

From then on.

Xia Yeshuang successfully became the school's tyrant. No one wanted to provoke this thorny rose.

Beauty is certainly alluring, but you have to be alive to enjoy it!

The moment Xia Yeshuang appeared, Li Dachun immediately stared at the ground.

Hey, this floor tile really looks like a floor tile!

Unfortunately, for a huge body like big silly Chun's, the difficulty of shrinking himself was too great.

Like an ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Li Dachun didn't dare to look, but Lu Xing didn't care. He met Xia Yeshuang's gaze calmly.

Xia Yeshuang was a vocal music art student. 

Her school schedule was very unstable; it didn't matter if she came or not.

Perhaps it was the privilege of an art student.

She had a head of dazzling blonde hair, and her light brown pupils were as bright as gems.

Xia Yeshuang lifted her chin slightly, as proud as a beautiful little lioness. 

The wind blew past her fair, slender legs, lifting a small corner of her skirt.

Xia Yeshuang walked up to Lu Xing, her mouth opening with ridicule.

"The simp today isn't..."

"This hair color suits you very well. It makes your skin look fair."

Lu Xing interrupted her.

Instantly, Xia Yeshuang was frozen in place, a long string of insults stuck in her throat.

Couldn't swallow it, couldn't spit it out.

Xia Yeshuang couldn't believe what she had just heard.

Lu Xing, Wei Qingyu's loyal simp, was actually complimenting her hair color?

What is this?

Is he for real?

Does this color really look good?

A torrent of questions rushed into Xia Yeshuang's mind, causing a faint pink blush to creep up her cheeks!

Xia Yeshuang gritted her teeth and, before turning to enter the classroom, cursed at Lu Xing.

"Like I need you to tell me!"

Pfft.

Lu Xing watched her back, which looked quite like she was fleeing in disarray, and let out a laugh.

"Wow! So tsundere!" 

It's a pity he doesn't eat this set. 

(TL: 不吃这一套 (bù chī zhè yī tào) is a common idiom meaning "to not fall for that trick/routine.")

Lu Xing said leisurely, "It's the 21st century, tsundere is a nerfed build. Who even likes tsunderes anymore?" 

Wait.

Lu Xing suddenly felt a chill on the back of his neck. He turned his head and met Li Dachun's fervent eyes.

Mm...

Or maybe I should go custom-order some iron underpants?

Li Dachun violently grabbed Lu Xing's hand and said excitedly.

"Holy f*ck! Xing-xing! You're awesome!"

"You're amazing! You actually managed to counter both Wei Qingyu and Xia Yeshuang!"

Big silly Chun gave him the highest praise a man could receive—You're amazing!

"Adoptive father! So awesome! Teach me, teach me!"

Making Xia Yeshuang flee in disarray with just a few words.

Who else?

Who else!

Lu Xing rubbed his fingers together and said with a smile, "Well, about that..."

Li Dachun understood. He immediately emptied his pockets and offered up all his allowance.

"Long live the king, long live, long live!"

Lu Xing smiled mysteriously, leaned close to Li Dachun's ear, and whispered.

"This thing... if you suck, you just have to practice more!"

Li Dachun: ...

Huh???

Did I just get robbed???

Lu Xing swore to the heavens that what he said was based on his own experience!

No one is born a social expert.

When Lu Xing first started in the professional simp business, he didn't understand many things either.

Later, after being cursed at and beaten, he slowly understood.

If you suck, practice more. There's really nothing wrong with that.

...

"What?!"

Xia Yeshuang had just slipped into the classroom and sat down at the back.

Her followers quickly told her what had happened today.

"It's absolutely true! Sis Xia, we all saw it!"

"Right, I can testify! Wei Qingyu was really speaking up for Lu Xing. On the contrary, Lu Xing didn't seem to care much for her."

"That kid Lu Xing has been simping for so long, he actually made it?"

"Exactly, exactly..."

The people around her were still chattering, but Xia Yeshuang's gaze unconsciously fell upon Wei Qingyu.

After a long while, Xia Yeshuang suddenly let out a malicious laugh.

Interesting.

So very interesting.

An AI robot like Wei Qingyu, who thinks so highly of herself, can also have feelings?

So she falls for Lu Xing's simp routine, huh?

Xia Yeshuang hissed. Thinking of what Lu Xing had said earlier, she laughed disdainfully.

"Her taste is really quite terrible."

"Sis Xia, so are you going to..." The people around her saw the smile on Xia Yeshuang's lips and had a feeling someone was about to be unlucky.

Xia Yeshuang's exquisite eyes drooped. She twirled a strand of her blonde hair in her fingers and suddenly asked.

"Does my hair color look good?"

"It does, it does!" The people around her nodded like bobbleheads.

Xia Yeshuang pouted, bored.

Every single one of them... not as sincere as Lu Xing's praise.

But...

Since Wei Qingyu seems to feel something special for Lu Xing now...

Then...

Of course, she had to cause some trouble for Wei Qingyu!

...

...