I can upgrade the shelter
Chapter 117 - 115 Emotional Breakdown (1/10)

Chapter 117: Chapter 115 Emotional Breakdown (1/10)

"Chen Xin is back, wash your hands and eat!" "Mom, I got first place in the class for the final exams!" In the haze, the call from the depths of memory is so familiar yet strange.

"My son is amazing! I’ll take you swimming this weekend!" Father always saw him as his life’s pride, but Chen Xin no longer remembers when his father stopped constantly praising him.

"Dad, I want to buy a telescope, I promise I’ll get four As this semester!" As a child, he always yearned for the skies, what was his dream back then? An astronomer? An astronaut? It seemed everyone thought similarly in those days.

"Son, take care of yourself out there, make more friends at school, if you need money, just tell me." He got into college, leaving home for the first time in his life, and his father, now with graying temples, slipped a bank card into Chen Xin’s pocket.

"Hello, I’m also in this dorm, from now on we’re dorm brothers." Chen Xin can’t remember who this was in the dorm, but it should be the oldest brother, right? The oldest always took care of everyone else.

"Chen Xin, look at that senior girl over there, she’s so cool! Don’t compete with me, I’m going to pursue her to be my girlfriend!" Senior girl? Chen Xin remembers her well; he didn’t compete with his brother, but the brother still ended up heartbroken.

"Who’s going to the cafeteria, bring me a meal! Quick, quick, quick! Defend point A!" A group of shirtless guys in the dorm were playing games; back then even laptops were rare, what were they playing? It seemed like CS.

"Lights out, don’t text your girlfriend!" Someone was checking the dorm from outside, Chen Xin almost forgot that after ten at night, they weren’t allowed to keep the lights on in college.

"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? If not, can I be your girlfriend?" How many junior girls have confessed to him now? Since sophomore year, Chen Xin had been responsible for welcoming new students each year, combined with his good looks, he couldn’t remember how many junior girls confessed to him.

"Junior Chen, do you want to start a club with senior sister?" Which senior sister was this? Why can’t he remember?

"Let’s all sing together! Celebrate the founding of our new club!" When did I form a club?

"What song? I can play the piano accompaniment, there’s a piano right here." A senior sister who can play piano? Why don’t I remember?

"Can you play that song ’Tianya’? It was really popular a few years ago." Why did I choose this song? Isn’t it more fitting to sing something more festive to celebrate the new club?

"That piece adapted from ’Song of Bamboo’? Yes, I learned the original Japanese version." The senior sister sat down by the piano, and the bright music began.

Interestingly, the senior sister sang the Japanese version, while Chen Xin sang the Chinese version.

But both songs used the same tune, so even though the lyrics were different, Chen Xin and the senior sister on the piano still harmonized well.

Just as they were singing together, the alarm clock suddenly rang, shattering the harmony.

Chen Xin woke up.

Reaching for the phone on the bedside table, he turned off the alarm, and then sat up in bed.

The newly installed geothermal heat pump had started working, and the temperature in the shelter had risen again, not as cold as it was a few days ago, so Chen Xin didn’t need to wrestle with the decision to get out of bed from under the covers each morning.

However, though he was awake, the memories that emerged from the dream left Chen Xin in melancholy, still immersed in those memories.

Bits and pieces of life with his parents when he was young, the friendships with classmates, brothers, and friends at school as he grew older, and those who appeared in his life as beloved ones...

Memories are beautiful but are also heavy.

Yet, among them, what Chen Xin was most concerned about besides his parents was the senior sister who sang with him at the end of the dream.

Strictly speaking, she wasn’t actually a senior sister, since she was in the same grade as Chen Xin, though half a year older, so after they met, she had him call her senior sister all along.

Recalling the high-spirited self from ten years ago, the memorable things done at school, and the memorable people, Chen Xin felt as if he was sucked into a massive whirlpool, his emotions continuously plummeting, unable to break free.

Brushed his teeth, washed his face, and unlike usual, Chen Xin did not prepare breakfast, instead, he sat on the couch with a sense of defeat and darkness.

It’s not surprising for Chen Xin to dream of past events, as dreams are connected to one’s thoughts and experiences, so it’s normal to dream of what occupies one’s mind during the day.

But...the people and events within memories, those places laden with memories, no longer exist and cannot be returned to.

Looking at the papers and goals posted on the wall last night, Chen Xin fell into deep self-doubt; can he truly achieve this goal? Can he really persist? Do his efforts have meaning?

Chen Xin isn’t someone easily discouraged or depressed, but at this moment, he was deeply trapped in self-doubt and denial.

He doubts his abilities, his motivation to persist in survival, and the purpose of his existence...

The apocalypse is inherently an environment that brings immense mental pressure, moreover, it’s a continuous, nearly endless burden.

Under such circumstances, the pressure of survival, the loneliness of solitude, the hopelessness of seeing no future...

These emotions continually accumulate, those with poor endurance might quickly have emotional breakdowns, even those with strong endurance struggle to remain optimistic and upbeat in such an environment.

Because there simply isn’t a reason to be optimistic, nor is there a future worth looking forward to that motivates one to be positive.

Previously, perhaps due to the existence of the system, Chen Xin felt like he had less pressure, believing life would only get better and maintaining some optimism.

But when he recalled past experiences and beauty, and compared them to the current isolation, loneliness, darkness, and cold, the pressure and negative emotions accumulated from the apocalypse surged forth, making Chen Xin unable to persist any longer.

He isn’t the indomitable Brooklyn kid, nor is he someone who has instantly transformed his mindset from an ordinary person to a conqueror of realms slaying gods and demons upon crossing into the Otherworld.

Chen Xin is just an ordinary person, no different from everyone else; he cries, fears, gets defeated, and despairs.