I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World
Chapter 76: The Day I Learned Not to Touch Another Man’s Horns

Chapter 76: The Day I Learned Not to Touch Another Man’s Horns

Malthus’ home planet is called Rafika.

On his planet, everyone is like him: strong, burly, ugly, and probably equally bad at math. They probably count using their fists—anything over ten just doesn’t happen.

He told me that even if everyone on his planet is the same there is one distinction between them.

Their horns.

In Rafika, not everyone has horns on their heads.

Only the strongest of the residents have horns.

Also, in Malthus’ family there is one custom that only applies to the eldest son.

The custom being:

To acquire as many planets as you can.

Malthus had said before that this planet was his last one and he also said something about the core.

But damn, his family is weird. Weirder than those incest hentais. I never really liked them—just kept them in my research folder.

Anyway, after Malthus revealed all this, he shared the most heart-wrenching twist near the end of his story.

The horns I had cut from his head? They weren’t his.

They belonged to his grandpa. He was basically wearing Grandpa’s hand-me-downs.

Since Malthus had said that only the strongest have horns, I naturally thought Malthus wasn’t the strongest because he didn’t have his own horns.

But I was wrong.

His grandfather had given him the horns for two reasons: First, because the old man loved him. Second...

To seal his true strength.

This was some Sukuna level shit and I felt like King... from One Punch Man.

So as soon as Malthus revealed the power sealing part, he had blown up half of the land and I was just recovering from the blast, when he revealed something worse.

That man, Malthus Theorem, whom I thought wasn’t the strongest, turned out to be none other than...

The King Of Planet Rafika.

Right now, he hovered in midair and the black smoke behind him gave him the look of a final boss of a game.

Erect and Sexis were behind me and they were too stunned to speak. Like I was when I realized massage parlour workers don’t offer sex in real life.

We all stared at the awakening of Malthus, and it all happened because I broke his seal—aka his grandpa’s horns!

"Why the hell did you cut his horns, you bast—my lord?" Erect almost cursed.

I glanced at him.

"You were literally smiling when I cut them."

"That’s... I wasn’t smiling. That was my regular face."

"Then why aren’t you smiling right now?"

"Because I’m making a serious face right now. Smiling is my default. When I look serious, know that I’m making that face."

"...You’ve lost it, Erect. Stop talking. Fear is taking over your brain."

"Um, Racis..." Sexis muttered.

"What? It better be serious."

Sexis nodded, his gaze piercing mine.

"Now that Malthus looks more dangerous than ever, I think it’s time."

"Time for what?"

"Time to fulfill the promise you made with me."

I blinked, then prepared to unleash the most damaging abuse known to mankind.

"You fucki—"

"I don’t want to die with regrets, Racis. You gave me hope with that promise. You can’t take it away. It’ll only take four minutes. I finish fast."

"Shut the hell up, man. You both are losing your minds. Don’t forget, I am a God right now. No matter how strong he gets, he can’t defeat a God."

Sexis’ eyes lit up. "Are you sure?"

Nope.

"Of course. I am as sure as a writer claiming he makes money."

Sexis seemed convinced. Guess fear was overriding his suspicion.

Erect nodded along like a bobblehead.

I should have increased their intellect a hundred folds too.

For now, I let them be and focused on the chaos in front of me.

"Human king," Malthus spoke. "You had cut my grandfather’s horns, didn’t you? Well... now try to cut mine."

Malthus closed his eyes, and the next second, from the two small bumps on his head, something erupted.

Two massive horns shot skyward, curving before stopping at a ridiculous height.

Thick, long, and sharp, curving right in the middle. Malthus looked like a freaking reindeer on steroids.

This was some recycled anime plot, but originality be damned—I was the one who had to face this monster.

Strange markings appeared on his horns, and I immediately knew cutting these would be like trying to slice through Nokia in its prime.

Malthus finally decided to descend on the ground.

The smoke in the air remained though.

"Not much of a fan of the environmentalist, are you?" I asked.

"Hm. That’s not a problem."

Malthus turned, facing the smoke. I half-expected him to snap his fingers to clear it.

FWOOOH!

Instead, he just blew on it.

Seriously? That’s not some hot tea, man. At least put some effort into it. Clap your hands maybe?

As the smoke cleared, the people finally got a good look at Awakened Malthus.

And when they did, they had the same reaction as me.

"Holy shit!"

"Who is that?"

"Is that the same man?"

"His horns are different."

"Yes. He is the same man. I know it!"

"How?"

"His nipples. They are still small."

"Oh. Yes. You are right!"

"But now he looks strong!"

"Guess, bigger dick matters after all."

"Don’t cut his dick, hero king. I don’t want it!"

"Yeah. Me too!"

"But you can cut yours, hero king!"

"Yeah. You must also have a good size!"

"I will show that to my wife and tell her that having a bigger one will only bring problems."

"Yes! Cut your dick, hero king."

"Cut your dick!"

"Cut your dick!"

"Cut your di—"

I hate these people.

Now they want to make me into a dildo.

No matter who wins, whether it’s me or Malthus, they’d probably just deal in dicks.

And as they said, Malthus looked different now.

He had increased in height, his muscles now would bag him the Mister World trophy and if I wasn’t scared before, I am now.

"Human king," Malthus said, his voice deeper and more menacing. "I won Round 1. Round 2 was yours. Therefore, let’s bet everything on one final round. What do you say?"

"...I’m more surprised you got the numbers right. Quick learner, are we?"

"Yes. Now I know enough. And I can hear your heartbeat too. You are saying all this just to delay the confrontation."

"If you know it, then follow it."

"I only follow myself."

"That’s because your account is private and you have zero posts."

"This isn’t Instagram, human king."

"I know. But as you said, I’m delaying the confrontation."

"But I won’t."

SWOOSH!

Malthus came in front of me.

I didn’t even blink and he was already here.

Erect and Sexis trembled and Now that I saw Malthus up close, yeah, he was different. Scarier. Like someone hit him with a ’Broly Update’ patch. Like someone was creating a broken villain and due to deadline they forget to make the Hero match the level too.

He towered over me, and I was back at chest level. Not a comfortable place to be, considering he looked like he bench-pressed planets.

"No one has seen this form of mine. Not even me. Because my seal has never been broken," he said, his voice like a thunderstorm hitting a mountain.

"So, in a sense, I took your virginity."

Malthus didn’t reply, but someone else did.

"That’s not fair, Racis. I met you first."

Sexis.

"I thought you were afraid."

"I still am. But I always speak against injustice."

"...Just stay quiet for a while."

"Okay."

"I don’t know what I’m capable of in this form. But I know one thing. Right now..."

Malthus waved his hand, and a black sword manifested out of thin air. Its blade was as dark as my sense of humor, its edge sharp enough to cut through the jaw of a professional mewer.

"I too, am a God."

We stood facing each other.

Malthus with his sword, and me with my swords.

Malthus with his confidence, and me with my piles.

’Supreme Man, what should I do now?’

[ Fight. There’s no other way. ]

’Can I win?’

[ Definitely not if you don’t fight. ]

I bit my lip.

Supreme Man thinks I don’t know that. Of course I know fighting is the only option. But I would never be able to fight full well if the constant fear of death roamed over my head.

My strikes would be shallow. My movements slow. What I needed right now wasn’t empty words. I needed...

"My son."

Courage.

My ears perked up.

Everyone heard those words.

Malthus too and he smiled.

"It’s your grandmother again."

I ignored him.

"What is it, grandma?" I asked. Not through my mind. I asked with my mouth.

"Don’t be afraid of him, my son. He is not strong. He is just evil. You are the Hero King and my dear child. You will not lose against him, and certainly, you don’t want to leave the man alive who tried to land his filthy hands on me, do you?"

My fist clenched.

Her pained face flashed in my mind, and suddenly, Malthus didn’t seem so big anymore.

"Do it for me, son," My grandma said, her voice filled with pride.

"Show them what I raised."