I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World
Chapter 63: "We Fight Till We Die (Which Should Be Any Minute Now)"

Chapter 63: "We Fight Till We Die (Which Should Be Any Minute Now)"

Erect said that there was only one way to deal with Malthus.

Fight till we die.

The Hero was serious so I also decided to agree to that idea.

We’ll fight till we die.

And me and Erect weren’t alone. There was one more.

Sexis—The Alien King.

He also stepped forward.

He was also ready to fight till we die but he said, ’Then it means we only have to fight for five minutes... or less.’

At this, me and Erect stared at Sexis like we have seen a female streamer who actually knows how to play games instead of showing cleavage.

"Why are you saying that?" I asked.

"Because it will only take him five minutes to kill all three of us. Your heroes are dead. Every single soldier is dead. Now it’s only us three. No matter how we fight, he will get the best of us."

"We are three and he is alone. We will be fine."

"Oh yeah? Tell me this, my human Racis friend, when was the last time you fought someone with all your being?"

"Never. Such a situation never came."

Though, occasionally I had to fight someone for my life after one of my shows. I still remember Brady. The man was angry just because I praised his wife’s new hairstyle. It’s not my fault she was a cancer patient. He should have told me that at the start.

"But why are you asking that?" I asked Sexis.

And the Alien replied:

"The monster in front of you fights like that daily. He is well versed in combat. All of us lived our lives in peace but this man breathed in violence. He could kill all three of us like a child eating a cockroach by mistake."

Augh. His similes are the worst. Which child eats a cockroach by mistake? I did that deliberately.

But forget it. Sexis had a point. This fighting is the bread and butter of Malthus. He thrives in this shit.

Nevertheless...

"That is no reason to back down, Sexis. We will fight anyway."

"Yes. For five minutes."

"Enough of that. We will fight for longer. Grow a spine."

"I can’t grow it. It grows on its own."

"Not literal- never mind. We have to fight no matter what."

"Alright. This is our last stand it seems."

"It is."

All three of us now faced Malthus with conviction and the red man watched us like a parent seeing his child in a poetry reciting competition.

"I gave you two minutes. Twenty seconds are still left. You can do some more fuckery if you want."

I pointed my sword at him. "We are not doing fuckery, Malthus."

"Eating cockroaches, spines grow on their own, attack his genitals, my balls are salty. What was all that then?"

"...Okay. We might have done some fuckery. But not anymore. We are serious."

"That doesn’t matter anymore. You already lost your planet. And I will make sure you three suffer. Especially you, Human King. I would love to see you in pain."

I scoffed. "No need to make me feel special, big guy. Give these two a chance too."

Malthus raised his brow. "Are you saying I choose your two comrades to suffer instead of you?"

"As if. All I am saying is give them a chance too. No need to give all the spotlight to me."

"So you are saying that I hurt your only two comrades and leave you from the pain."

"Don’t put words in my mouth, Malthus. All I am saying is land your eyes on these two as well and make them suffer instead of me."

"..."

Malthus went silent.

But..

"My lord?"

"My human Racis friend?"

Erect and Sexis didn’t.

"Calm down. It’s my plan." I whispered.

"Yes. A plan to save your ass. If you stay with me I will die even before five minutes." Sexis complained.

"Yes, my lord." Erect chimed. "That’s not a nice thing to do. You can’t just make me a scapegoat. I am your right hand man."

I narrowed my eyes.

"You literally clicked your tongue when you saw me alive."

"That was strictly personal. This is professional. I don’t get paid enough to die for you."

"I doubled your salary."

"You doubled shit. That was just a cheap trick."

Shit. Erect is getting angry. He is releasing all his pent up frustration towards me.

I have to fix this.

"Alright. I am sorry. No more selling out comrades. If we die, then we die together."

I stretched both my fists outwards. One to my left and one to my right.

First, I looked at Sexis.

"Do it, bro. And call me Racis from now on. Friends call each other by their name."

Sexis stared at my fist and then he stared at me.

"Alright, Racis. I also hid myself in a trash can, leaving you alone. This makes us even."

Sexis accepted my friendship.

But... he didn’t fist bump me yet.

I looked at him again and I figured out the reason.

"Just use any of your hands, man."

"Right."

The Alien was confused between his hands.

Nevertheless, he finally bumped my fist and I turned my head towards Erect.

"You too, Erect. Forgive me. I will try to be a good lord now."

Erect sighed. "Alright. I will also not click my tongue anymore."

We both shared a smile and the Hero bumped his fist with mine too. He learned it from seeing Sexis. That’s why I went to the Alien first. Otherwise I was sure that Erect would have kissed my fist or had done something more outrageous since he had no idea about the Earth’s culture.

Anyway, I finally felt at ease. My last two Allies shouldn’t be angry with me. I can’t have them refusing me to become my meat shield when the time comes.

"Alright, Racis." Sexis sliced air with his scythes. "If it gets worse, you shall become my meat shield."

Motherfuc-

"I am afraid I can’t do that, Sexis." I also sliced air with both of my swords.

"Why?" Sexis asked.

I made my swords clash with each other as sparks flew off.

Then, with unwavering determination, I shared the reason:

"I am a vegetarian."