I am a Big Player
Chapter 84 - 83. Prank Firecracker_1

Chapter 84: 83. Prank Firecracker_1

"Host has completed the task, reward: 3 prank firecrackers (non-lethal)."

Is this what the reward for the task is? Ren He was baffled! What the hell are firecrackers? And why state it so fancily, it’s just firecrackers! What am I supposed to do with these, huh? Is it because the Lunar New Year is coming that you, Divine Punishment System, decided to be so seasonally thematic and reward me with firecrackers to play with?

Play my ass!

With a water temperature of 2 degrees Celsius, I stayed in the Luo River for five minutes, so cold I was nearly doubting my life choices, and the reward is three firecrackers? Ren He seriously started to suspect that the Divine Punishment System was messing with him!

The reward this time wasn’t some virtual item like the Emetic Water; instead, three fat firecrackers wrapped in colorful firework paper appeared in his hand, looking quite festive...

Festive my ass!

Ren He was disgruntled, still shivering from the cold as he made his way back, and this reward was simply unforgettable.

Upon getting home, he tossed the firecrackers carelessly by the TV, took a hot shower, and then cooked himself some ginger soup and dropped in a few frozen dumplings.

I have to say, my physical condition is genuinely good; even after staying in the freezing water for five minutes, there isn’t a single sign of fever or a cold.

It seems that since my physical condition far exceeded that of an ordinary person at 5.24, my immunity has improved proportionally as well.

Wonder how the hehehe ability is...

Hehehe, thinking about it made Ren He laugh at himself.

In the days he was out, neither Mrs. Ren nor Sir Ren noticed because they were too busy to come home. With the Lunar New Year approaching, Ren was busy going to the countryside for inspections, paying New Year visits to the villagers, while Mrs. Ren was occupied with the company’s year-end settlement, handing out bonuses to employees, and organizing the annual meeting. She had to pay respects to the various officials, which generally went smoothly thanks to Ren’s influence.

They would come back for the New Year, and that’s when all the relatives who usually didn’t stay in touch would appear.

As the eldest son of the Ren Family, Ren He also had two aunts and two uncles, and as the eldest grandson, it was customary to have the New Year’s Eve dinner at the Ren Family’s home.

In the Ren Family, seniority was important, and each generation would have a specific character in their names. For example, Ren He belonged to the ’Li’ generation, and he was supposed to be named Ren Limin...

That name was on the same level of approachability as Emetic Water...

Luckily, Mrs. Ren, thinking it was too unpleasant, had it changed to Ren He, which meant harmony between heaven, earth, and humanity.

For this alone, Ren He felt certain she was his biological mother, no doubt about it.

It was only through Yang Xi that Ren He found out in the last few days that Su Ruqin almost called the police the night he made a hasty retreat. Ren He was already on her blacklist.

Ren He felt a wave of relief wash over him; thank goodness he left early...

Su Ruqin even considered transferring Yang Xi to another school, but eventually got through to Yang En, who was abroad, and he vetoed the idea...

Ren He thought he should have a few drinks with his future father-in-law when he returned... He didn’t even consider whether the man would want to drink with him.

As the New Year approached, Ren and Mrs. Ren returned home the day before New Year’s Eve in remarkable sync, but just as Ren He was about to rejoice, Mrs. Ren grabbed him and said, "Don’t waste your New Year’s money; give it to Mom. I’ll save it for you to use when you grow up."

Ren He took a sharp breath; is that all you’ve been thinking about? It’s a good thing I can make money now; otherwise, how would I get through the year?

I wonder how I managed to survive in my past life...

Then came the nerve-wracking preparation for the holiday goods, with the family of three running to the supermarket to buy, buy, buy; they had to get a bit of everything they saw.

It wasn’t that Ren and Mrs. Ren couldn’t let their subordinates take care of the preparations, but the couple also tacitly felt that preparing everything by hand after not coming home all year had a bit of the New Year spirit.

On the morning of New Year’s Eve, Mrs. Ren got up early to start deep-frying food. Frying meatballs and belt fish would keep her busy all day, and it would not be until the evening that they could enjoy them.

A whole family of people, a full table of dishes, all had to be made by hand.

Ren He had nothing to do and suddenly noticed the three firecrackers beside the TV. What exactly were prank firecrackers supposed to do when they prank?

Forgive his lack of imagination, but he really didn’t know how else these things could be used to play pranks. Were they so powerful that they could blow up a person?

That wouldn’t be a prank, okay? The bottom line for a prank should at least be that no one gets hurt, and he believed that the Divine Punishment System had a sense of proportion, having even specially marked them as non-lethal.

Or maybe a clown’s head would pop out after the explosion to scare people or something?

Ren He decided to try it out and pocketed one before heading downstairs. But once downstairs, he hesitated. How should he test it?

With Ren He’s cunning character, he definitely would not be happy to try it on himself. What if the thing disgusted him, right...

Just then, Ren He caught sight of a few brats in the yard setting off fireworks with gusto, blowing up cars in the yard and throwing firecrackers into someone’s courtyard on the first floor to hear the owner’s scream. They were utterly triumphant.

How could these mischievous kids not be disciplined? Ren He felt he was just full of justice!

He happily placed the prank firecracker right on the path that the rascals were sure to take and then ran inside to wait...

When the brats passed by, they saw it and thought, hey, how come there’s a firecracker left here? Who forgot it? The kids whispered among themselves for a bit and then decided to claim the firecracker as their own!

Ren He hid in the building and watched them. He knew exactly what went through a mischievous kid’s mind when they saw a firecracker on the road: light it!

Go ahead and light it, Ren He eagerly awaited, watching as the other brats scattered in all directions, leaving only one child to light the firecracker, clearly ready to run as soon as it was lit.

However...

With a bang, all the brats were stunned, including Ren He, the instigator!

What happened? Ren He was confused. Wasn’t the fuse quite long? How come it exploded the instant it was lit?!

Damn, this was indeed a treacherous firecracker. The prank started from the fuse itself. Normally, when people see a firecracker with a long fuse, they relax a little because there is enough time to run away, but this prank firecracker’s feature is that no matter how long the fuse is, it explodes the moment it’s lit...

The kid who lit it was still in the pose of lighting the firecracker... completely befuddled...

A group of children gathered around: "Are you okay?"

The lighting kid was still a bit dazed and stood up after thinking for a bit and said, "I’m fine, just a bit panicky inside..."

At that moment, Ren He got a look at the kid’s face, and whoa, the whole front of him was blackened! The blackness was so intense, as if he had just walked out of a 2D anime—it was that exaggerated!

The Divine Punishment System’s firecracker was too cruel. So that was the prank it was supposed to pull off, huh? It wouldn’t injure people, but it would blast whoever lit it black as coal.

Impressive, impressive, Ren He admired the Divine Punishment System while slipping away without a hint of guilt...

But in the afternoon, a middle-aged woman suddenly began ranting furiously in the yard: "Who’s the unscrupulous person who threw the defective firecrackers into the yard this morning and didn’t care? Huh? My child got blasted to look like an African, three baths and still couldn’t wash it off, is there no public decency?! Huh? Is there no law?!"