Forbidden Cravings
Chapter 177: Guilt of Past (R-18)

Chapter 177: Guilt of Past (R-18)

The nights when Aeri brought Alan home were a quiet kind of torture, the kind that settled deep in my chest and refused to let go.

Alan, her boyfriend, was a constant shadow, his flashy smile and cocky attitude grating on me. I knew he didn’t deserve her, but Aeri was smitten, her eyes sparkling whenever he was around, and I was just a kid in her orbit, nursing feelings I couldn’t voice.

I curled up on the room bed, the thin mattress creaking under me, the pillow pressed against my ears as I tried to block out the sounds from her bedroom down the hall. The walls were too thin, the apartment too small, and Aeri’s moans cut through the quiet like a knife.

"Ahh... ahh... yeahh... fuck me more, Alan..." her voice came, raw and breathless, each word a punch to my gut.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my fists clenching the sheets, willing myself to fall asleep, to escape, but it was no use.

"I know you want my dick bitch," Alan’s voice rumbled, smug and commanding, followed by the rhythmic slap sound of their bodies, the headboard thudding against the wall.

"Arghh... you’re mine babe. I am gonna fuck you so much." His words were possessive, dripping with arrogance, and I hated how he talked to her, like she was a prize he’d won.

"Yeah..ahhh..I need your dick to keep on fucking me, ahh...I am yours, Alan. Don’t stop...ahh..." Aeri moaned, her voice high and desperate, lost in the moment.

The bed creaked louder, the sounds painting a picture I didn’t want to see but couldn’t stop imagining. I pulled the pillow tighter over my head, my heart pounding, a mix of jealousy and heartbreak twisting inside me.

"Come here bitch, lie straight down now," Alan said, his voice firm, and I heard the rustle of sheets, the shift of their bodies as they changed positions.

The noises paused for a moment, and I held my breath, hoping maybe it was over, but then Alan spoke again, his tone teasing. "Now suck the cock you love so much in this position...."

Aeri laughed, a playful giggle that made my chest ache because it was so her—light and carefree, even in a moment like this.

"It should be me sitting on your face, not the other way around," she said, her voice cheeky, and I could picture her smirk, the way her eyes would crinkle when she teased him.

"You rubbed your cunt enough on my face that day in the hotel," Alan shot back, his smirk audible, his words crude and careless. "Now it’s my turn. Open your mouth."

Aeri giggled again, the sound bright but quickly muffled by a wet, "Aaaa... awk... gawk...gawk..." as she complied, the noises raw and unmistakable.

I rolled onto my side, curling tighter into a ball, my jaw clenched so hard it hurt. I hated him. I hated how he used her, how he didn’t see her the way I did—her kindness, her strength, the way she’d sit with me for hours, helping me through math or cheering me up after a bad day. To him, she was just...a sex toy. And I hated myself for not being able to do anything about it.

Some nights, I don’t know why, I couldn’t stay in my room. Maybe it was desperation, or maybe I thought hearing it up close would force me to move on, to accept that Aeri was with someone else.

I’d slip out of bed, my feet silent on the hardwood floor, and sit outside her bedroom door, my back against the wall, my knees pulled to my chest. The sounds were louder here, unfiltered, each one a dagger.

Slap... slap... The sharp sound of skin against skin, Alan’s hand spanking her ass, I guessed, followed by his low growl. "Ahh... move that ass more, baby."

"Ahh... yeahh, sure...I am gonna cum again.." Aeri moaned, her voice breathy and compliant, the bed creaking as she did what he asked. I rested my head on my knees, my hands gripping my hair, trying to shut it out but unable to move away. I told myself this was closure, that hearing her with him would kill whatever hope I had, but it only made the ache worse. I saw her in my mind—her flushed face, her hair messy, her body moving under his—and it tore me apart, knowing it wasn’t me, knowing I was nothing to her but a kid she helped with homework.

"God, you’re so hot like this, I fucking adore your thick body. These jiggling big boobs makes me fucking crazy...ahh fuck...I am gonna cum again." Alan said, his voice thick with lust, the slap of their bodies relentless. "Keep going, just like that."

"Alan...ahh...yeah me too..fuck...don’t stop..." Aeri’s voice came, high and needy, and I pressed my forehead harder against my knees, my breath shaky.

I wanted to hate her, to blame her for not seeing me, but I couldn’t. She didn’t know how I felt, how every smile she gave me, every late-night talk, had built this impossible love inside me. She was just living her life, and I was the one stuck in the shadows, listening through a door, hoping for something I couldn’t have.

One night, I sat outside her room again, my back against the cool wall, knees pulled to my chest, my socks silent on the hardwood floor. The sounds started soft but grew louder, Aeri’s moans sharp and desperate.

"Ah... ahh... ahh... ahh... wait... I’m cumming...stop..ahh..ahhh...oh god.. ahh..." her voice broke, high and frantic, the bed creaking under their movements.

I could hear Alan’s fingers working her pussy fast, the wet sounds unmistakable, and my stomach twisted, my fists clenching against my knees.

"Squirt, baby, squirt... release it all...let me see you doing the fountain." Alan said, his voice low and laughing, smug like he was playing a game he’d already won. His tone was careless, devoid of the tenderness Aeri deserved, and it made my blood boil.

"Ahhhhhhhh..." Aeri moaned, long and shuddering, her voice peaking as she let go, the sound of her release echoing in the small apartment.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move on. Girls at college had noticed me—some had even asked me out, their smiles hopeful, their voices kind—but my heart didn’t budge. It was Aeri’s, always had been, even as she poured hers into Alan, blind to the cracks in their relationship.

And then.....

The crisis came, though I’d always known it was coming. Alan wasn’t the good guy—he was cheating on her, stringing her along while she dreamed of a future he never planned to give her.

I wasn’t there when she found out, but I could imagine it: the shock, the betrayal, the way her world must have crumbled. Aeri had talked about marriage once or twice, her voice soft and hopeful, testing the waters. I remembered one night at her apartment, months before the truth came out, when she’d brought it up over dinner. I was in my room, working on an college project, but the walls were thin, and their voices carried.

"Aeri, can we talk about this some other time?" Alan said, his tone clipped, his hands probably behind his neck like they always were when he got defensive. "I don’t think I’m ready to get married yet."

I froze, my pen still in my hand, straining to hear her response.

Aeri’s voice was quiet, almost trembling. "Oh... okay," she said, and I could picture her wide eyes, the way they’d widen in surprise or hurt, like a deer caught in headlights. "I just thought... never mind." The clink of dishes followed, then silence, and I knew she was swallowing her disappointment, brushing it off like she always did.

When the truth about Alan’s cheating finally broke, it shattered her. I wasn’t there for the confrontation, but I heard about it later—how she’d found texts on his phone, late-night messages from another woman, proof he’d been lying for months.

Her whole life unraveled, the dreams she’d built around him crumbling like sand. I could imagine her sitting on her couch, her plants wilting in the background, her eyes red from crying, wondering how she’d missed the signs. And I knew, deep down, that part of her must have blamed herself, even though it was all on him.