Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Chapter 49: Okay

Chapter 49: Okay

"I’m just going to get someone to come and take some blood so that we can run a few tests, okay?" I said as I looked down at the teenager on the bed in front of me.

She came in presenting with a stomachache, but the standard tests weren’t really showing anything. She wasn’t pregnant, wasn’t on her period, and the standard palpitations weren’t showing any sort of tense muscles that usually accompany stomach pains.

It might be psychological. Many people, especially teenage girls, would experience crippling stomachaches if they were stressed or anxious. Maybe she should get someone from the psych ward to come down and interview her.

Looking through my notes, I missed the brick wall standing in front of me.

Hands gripped my upper arms, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

Startled, I looked up at the man who was holding me.

"Bai-" I said, confused. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing here, but before I could so much as say another word, he let me go and dropped down to his knees in front of me, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist.

His head was buried in my chest, and I could feel wetness seeping through my sweater.

"I am so sorry," he said softly, his head never moving. I could feel his body shaking as he held me closer to him. So close that it felt like he was trying to crawl inside of me.

"I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know. Mom convinced Dad not to tell me, and I think they did something to my phone. I haven’t gotten a text or a call from you in months. I swear I didn’t know. I would have been there for you if I had. Please, please don’t hate me. I’ll quit the military. I’ll move to City Z. I’ll do whatever I need to in order to keep you in my life."

The words seemed to flow out of him, and I could feel his honesty. He really would give everything up if I asked him to.

"Is everything okay, Wang?" asked Hou Yi as he came around the desk to stand beside me. He looked down at Bai Long Qiang and then back at me; the uncertainty in his gaze made me want to reassure him.

"Everything is fine," I said with a smile. I handed him the folder in my hand. "Can you arrange for bloodwork to be done for room six? If everything comes back clear, I want you to page Doctor Lai Chao to come and speak to her."

"Understood," nodded Hou Yi as he once again looked at Bai Long Qiang, who hadn’t bothered to move the entire time we were talking.

For a man who grew up thinking that he had gold on his knees, he seemed just fine kneeling in front of me.

I let out a long sigh and placed my hand on his head, running my fingers through his hair. "Stand up," I said softly.

My emotions were running through me, everything from rage to despair, from joy to misery. I wanted to hate him for what he did to me.

I needed him, and he wasn’t there.

I looked up at the ceiling and the bright lights, fighting the tears that were coming to my eyes. My family’s death was like a festering wound that would break apart and bleed with the slightest touch. I managed to get lost in work, working more hours than I needed to, but seeing Bai Long Qiang brought it all back.

The pain.

The misery.

The crushing feeling of being truly alone in a world I knew nothing about.

And yet... seeing him, feeling him... made me want to forgive him for not being there.

Was I weak? Should I hate him for not coming to me? I should... right? I should be able to hold on to my anger for more than the few seconds it took me to forgive him.

"Not until you forgive me," he muttered with a shake of his head.

"Oh, and now you are blackmailing me?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. I gently pulled him back, and he let me, looking up at me.

His eyes were red, and I could see black circles under them, letting me know that he hadn’t been sleeping well.

"Major Cheng told me yesterday what happened. I confronted Dad and came right here," he said fast, not really making sense.

"Major Cheng?" I asked, not sure who that might be. "Are you talking about Cheng Bo Jing?" I pressed, confused. I had never asked the man what his rank was. He was always just Cheng Bo Jing to me.

"Yes," hissed Bai Long Qiang, his eyes narrowing as he zeroed in on my lips. "But I don’t want to hear his name from you again."

"Tough shit," I said, letting out a bark of laughter. "He is a good friend. He was there when I needed him. There is no way that I am going to let you tell me who I am or am not going to be friends with."

A shudder ran through Bai Long Qiang’s body as he adjusted his grip and went back to clinging to me like a newborn baby. "Have I already lost you?" he asked softly.

I wanted to say yes. I thought that that was how I should react. I should be able to stay mad at him, make him work for my forgiveness. But Bai Long Qiang felt like he was a part of me, a crucial part of me.

"You haven’t," I said, running my fingers through his hair as I tried to soothe him. "You know, not everyone looks at me how you look at me. To everyone, I am just a freakishly smart child."

He shook his head like he disagreed with the statement, but I knew what people thought of me. And I really didn’t mind it. I was secure in who I was... and what I was.

There was nothing wrong with letting my freak flag fly.

"You are mine," he said instead.

"I am," I answered with a smile. "But now, I am also a doctor. I have patients to see. Why don’t you go to wherever you are staying and I’ll give you a call after work? I should be off in about four hours; knock on wood."

Bai Long Qiang shook his head. "I’m not going anywhere. I’ll find a place to sit so I’m not in your way. But I am not letting you out of my eyesight. And I need a new phone. I think Mother did something to mine."

"Okay."