Alpha Damon's Greatest Regret
Chapter 26- Clean

Chapter 26: Chapter 26- Clean

ZARAH~

I looked through the windows of the Cafe and saw her sitting down with a coffee in her hands. I had only come here because she had been constantly pestering my phone but now I wasn’t so sure I wanted to exchange words with the woman who had contributed so much to making my life harder than it needed to be, I took a step closer to the door and immediately her eye’s locked with mine, she rose up with a happy look in her eyes but all it did was make me angry, I stepped through the door and walked to the table she sat, I put down my handbag beside my chair as I sat down hesitantly.

"What?" I said wanting her to hastily get on with whatever it was she had to say.

"You look good," she said in an awkward attempt at flattery but I didn’t care for it.

"What?" I asked again, my tone harsher than it had been earlier.

"I wanted to speak to you Zah."

"Don’t call me that," I said.

"I’m sorry." she immediately apologized then a silence fell over us before she broke it.

"I’m — I’m clean now," she said nervously, and I felt my blood begin to boil.

"do I care!, no let me rephrase, Why should I care!" I spat every word filled with more anger than the last.

"I know I was a terrible parent and I don’t blame you for hating me, but I’ve—" she tried to say but I wasn’t having it.

"Don’t come at me with that righteous shit!" I said the volume of my voice high enough that other customers turned their heads to us, I quickly composed myself and rested back into my chair.

"My problems started with you Ronda, every time I stepped out of that box and was away from you I felt better because you made my existence miserable, my father left and you blamed me, he betrayed the pack and they blamed me, I was sixteen, my father didn’t enough about me to stay, I needed you! I needed my mother! But all I got was ’you’." I said, I heard the sound of my own voice and even I was surprised by how much pain they carried.

"I don’t have a defense, I was shit." She said as she put down her coffee cup and looked straight at me "I had you when I was sixteen and your father was my world, when he left I was broken and drugs and alcohol felt like an escape so I dived into it. Every time I looked at you I saw him and I got angry and I resented him for leaving and I projected that resentment unto you and it made me treat you like shit, I know no amount of apologies will make up for how I treated you but I just want to have a chance in your life, I just want you to give me one chance to be your Mom" she explained, her words sank into my soul, I felt sorry for her but it couldn’t erase how I felt about everything she put me through, even though for the first time her words didn’t upset me I still couldn’t forgive or forget everything she did, everything she said.

"You can’t just apologize and expect all those years of abuse to disappear, you can’t," I said tears filling my eyes as I spoke.

"Just give me a chance Zah."

"I can’t." I refused as a tear rolled down the side of my face.

"Please Zah, please." she pleaded as she gently held onto my palm.

"I can’t, I can’t," I said pulling my hand away from her grasp as I hastily rose from my chair and rushed to the exit of the cafe with my palm blocking my eyes so people wouldn’t see my tears. I wasn’t that girl anymore, I wasn’t that scared little girl who cried over every little thing that bothered her so why was this happening, I thought I felt nothing more than indifference towards her, so why was I reacting this way? My mind raced as I pushed open the door with my hands still covering my eyes causing me to slam into someone and fall onto the floor.

"Ouch." I groaned as I stood back up and looked at the person I had run into only to see Micheal standing with his hands stretched to me.

"Are you ok miss," he said politely.

"Micheal!" I exclaimed, as he heard my voice his eyes widened with surprise.

"Dins, what are you doing here?" he asked, but I couldn’t answer, all that occupied my mind was what had just happened, I tried to look at it from his perspective, I was about to enter a cafe and someone who isn’t blind bumps into me, I would have probably been a little upset and cursed them a bit but he didn’t, instead he offered to help me up.

"Uhmmm," I said trying to focus on anything other than his blue eyes, for a brief moment I had been consumed by him, I had forgotten all about my worries, about my mom and the only thing that mattered was him as he helped me to my feet.

"Are you ok?" He asked again and I was snapped out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I am," I said, pulling away from him and taking a step back, I turned my head back to the cafe and saw her still sitting there with her sorry eyes fixed on me, following my line of sight Micheal saw her and for some reason unknown to me, waved at her.

"Who is she?" he asked with a friendly smile as he turned back to me.

"No one" I answered with a sharp tone and he immediately got the message.

"Do you want a ride home?"

"Yes but didn’t you come here to do something?"

"I did but it’s not as important as you getting home," he answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am"

"Ohk then, thank you." I said with a warm smile, I turned back to look at her, she smiled at me and was about to wave when I tore my eyes away and looked back at Micheal "Let’s go."

"Good," he said with a warm smile as I began to walk towards his car but he didn’t follow me as curiosity glued his eyes on her.

"You coming!" I called out, snapping him away as he turned and followed me to the car.